Miley Cyrus Looks Like A Dang Ol’ Lesbian

August 13th, 2012 // 112 Comments
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Here’s Miley Cyrus‘ new haircut which she decided to show off on Twitter because it’s not like she’s acting, singing or doing anything but living (literally) high off the Hannah Montana hog. Anyway, apparently she’s been waiting her whole life to look like a lesbian and her daddy finally got the little Dutch boy he’s always wanted, so fuck y’all:

- Never felt more me in my whole life ❤
- someone just told me im prettier than Miley Cyrus. ❤
- most successful Sally day EVER! ❤❤❤ I feel pretty ohhhh so pretty and gayyyy
- Miley talking about wanting to have short, Blonde hair like twiggy back when she was 15 years old :) [Ed. Note: This was a retweet.]
- my dad @billyraycyrus used to tell me “opinions are are like ass holes every body has one” LOVE my hair ❤ feel so happy, pretty, and free

Except now comes the heart part where Miley Cyrus has to explain to Liam Hemsworth that she’s really in love with her best friend Eric Stoltz and the mom from Back to the Future is all wrong for him. And, yes, I just made a Some Kind of Wonderful reference because I’m old as shit.

Photo: Splash News


  1. YoMamma

    I love Some Kind of Wonderful… Miley not so much. Did you get that done at the Super Cuts down by the Piggly Wiggly?

    • Even Super Cuts doesn’t do such hack jobs. Bet it cost her at least $400.

    • GirlNamedJake

      Let’s hear it for old chicks who liked Watts better than Miss Amanda Jones. Look it up, little bitches….John Hughes did more than 16 Candles & Pretty & Pink. What I cannot get over is when the hell Miley got Octomom’s chin & lips? It’s totally freakin’ me out!!

  2. How am I supposed to masturbate to this Miley? Have some consideration for the fapping community.

  3. Jackled

    I’m all for short hair.. but this is… what is this? A mullet in reverse? Goddamnit rednecks….

  4. See Alice

    Between this and the tattoos ,she must really hate herself .

  5. it had to be said

    Well, there’s one in every group and I guess this time it’s me. I actually like it . If I were at a bar I would definitely try to have sex with this chick.

  6. MM

    At least the bun is gone?

  7. Miley Cyrus Braless Denim Jumper
    Commented on this photo:

    That was a mistake…. a BIG BIG mistake- I hope her hair grows fast & after sobering up I’m sure she does too!

  8. The Royal Penis

    I’d still let her suck my cock.

  9. The necklace proves she is edgy and hard. Not as much as a huge Tysonesque face tattoo, but this is the next best thing.

  10. JC

    Remember kids: If one of your friends dares you to stick your head under the lawnmower, this could happen. Be smart. Be safe.

  11. I love Some Kind of Wonderful! Mmm Eric Stoltz.

  12. DiegoAD

    Guess I’m old as shit too considering SKOW is one of my favorite movies of all time.

  13. phffft...

    This is pretty much like an avant-garde artist placing a brick on the floor of a gallery and calling it ‘art’. Wow… you have to wonder how much she paid for this hack job.

  14. PeopleSuck

    My God….she’s trying to look like Beiber.

  15. Kodos

    Hey, love the ‘Some Kind’ shout-out… Mary-Stuart Masterson was the definite hottie in that flick!

  16. Yup

    And miley cyrus again reminds us of what a stupid dumbass she is. Getting a really bad (not even a Some Kind of Wonderful) lesbo haircut. Her fiancee must be so happy…

  17. Dr.J.Fever

    At least she’ll look great in the wedding photos.

    snark off

  18. Bouncy Castle

    She’s got the kind of face that makes you want to set fire to it, then put it out with a shovel.

  19. Devilish Diva

    You have to have the right face and attitude to carry edgy haircuts.
    All I notice from this pic are the lines on her neck, her pointy chin and her close-set eyes.
    Not a good look at all.

  20. El Jefe

    Dammit Miley, everybody knows you never go full lesbian.

  21. Surplus Nick

    These right here are scientifically engineered and all of that crap. Guaranteed by some Sierra Club asshole not to harm a chipmunk IF you happen to step on it.

  22. Swearin

    Maybe she’s trying for the lead in a remake of Boys Don’t Cry?

  23. Ken

    Is anyone else being reminded of the Britney late-night shaving thing?

  24. Miley Cyrus Braless Denim Jumper
    Hank E. Ring
    Commented on this photo:

    Atta boy Liam, nice to let her open the doors and push all the buttons. Does she order food for you as well?

  25. Cock Dr

    IMO it’s a dreadful haircut.
    Nothing she can do can take the pumpkin out of that head.

  26. Miley Cyrus New Haircut Blonde
    Beaver Underground
    Commented on this photo:

    Liam, better cue the music from the Crying Game!

  27. Joel

    Ladies with short hair?! Soon they’ll try for drivers licenses, trousers and the right to vote as well!
    (Seriously, you guys come off as dumbasses.)

    • talula

      well said. not the least interested in the girl or whatever she does, but it’s just a fuckin’ haircut and she looks alright.

  28. Miley Cyrus New Haircut Blonde
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that Justin Bieber?

  29. RacistPete

    Eh. I like it.

  30. Ana

    Short hair would look great on her. Just not this cut. This looks like a BAD hair cut.

  31. Buck

    wow, lesbian’s are very ugly

  32. edamame

    …and the engagement just got longer.

  33. Mary Feeney

    She looks cute; it’s too bad she has that obnoxious loud voice.

  34. O.o

    now she just looks like a belgium comic person called “jommeke” seriously google it… (or if you know it in english he apperiantly is called jeremy).

  35. Miley Cyrus New Haircut Blonde
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is it that when a girl gets married, she stops caring what she looks like. This little boy look is so unattractive.

  36. pascalecake

    I love this haircut. Geez, get some variety in your taste guys — long, loose curls are boring as all hell.

    • Meh

      Mermaid hair is boring, but this is hideous on her. There has to be something in between. And some people could pull this hair cut off (or at least a better version of it), but Miley Cyrus can not. AT. ALL.

  37. cc

    I’ve seen this hair style before. It’s the ‘Bong blew up in my face and scorched my hair so I had to make it look like I wasn’t stoned out of my fuckin’ gourd’ look.

  38. Who's your mama


  39. Tom

    Another Disney disaster.

    Up next, beating cars with umbrellas…

  40. Shouldn’t Tony be here telling us if we like the hair it’s because we like little boys?

  41. tlmck

    Run Liam run!!!!!

  42. The Listener

    Ugly haircut. Enough said.

  43. Miley Cyrus New Haircut Blonde
    Commented on this photo:

    She donated her hair to Locks of Love so that somebody with cancer can get a wig. She did it for a good cause.

    • vgrly

      My understanding is Lock of love only accepts naturally colored hair. Not bleach blonde? Must have been a rule change?

    • MisterSuccint

      … because she doesn’t have anything else to donate to help do something about cancer?

    • She had recently had another haircut that fell only to her shoulders. That’s not much hair left to donate and bleached blonde? Shenanigans.

    • kimmykimkim

      I donated to Locks of Love once. Colored hair is fine. Bleached or highlighted hair is not. And you have to donate a minimum of 10 inches. It’s not just for kids with cancer, it’s mostly for kids with alopecia.

      • kimmykimkim

        I love that I get thumbed down for donating hair. Or perhaps, for just being me. Someone little piggy out there hates me. And I love it.

    • JoShmo

      Do some research on Locks of Love….they get more hair than they know what to do with so a lot of the time your hair doesn’t actually make it into a wig sadly. Even sadder…is a lot of salons know this and don’t even send it in. Also…she went from shoulder length hair, that isn’t long enough to qualify for locks of love, they need more length to work with for wigs.

    • Ex-miley-fan#1

      News flash, noooo she did not!!!!!!!! Nor has any report ever said she claimed this it’s her fans making up some justification for this idiotic look. Her hair didn’t meet the requirements for donation it wasn’t 10 inches long and it was bleached. Take note Miley did not donate her hair she was just being Miley acting like a dumbass!!! All she can do to get attention anymore is get a new tatoo, lose weight and do drastic stuff to her hair. She’s pathetic!!

  44. tom

    She’s fugly and she also adds vulgarity to it.

  45. vgrly

    I guess the engagement must be off.

  46. Miley Cyrus New Haircut Blonde
    Commented on this photo:

    it will grow back whats the big deal, at least she dont have to spend long on it.

    • No

      Short hair takes WAY longer to style than long hair for most people. Unless she doesn’t put product in it, flat iron it, or style in any way and just leaves it natural. Which is what most people with long hair do, and not what most women with short hair do, hence why it actually takes more time even though you have less hair. She’s also going to need to get it cut at least three times as often.

  47. McClownerton

    All I care about is me, my drums and tweeting pictures of my shitbox haircut.

  48. I love how she gave attribution to “opinions are like assholes…”
    ‘Cuz we all know Billy Ray wrote them werds, erm, originally.

  49. shorthairedlady

    why does her haircut instantly make her a lesbian? this headline incredibly offensive.

    • McClownerton

      the minute I got my hair cut short I instantly developed a liking for the Indigo Girls, flannel and auto mechanics. true story.

    • Who's your mama

      How is that offensive? Do you hate lesbians? How much Chick-Fil-A have you been eating? I would think that’s only offensive if you’re a straight woman who is constantly mistaken for a lesbian. If that’s the case, it’s not the hair. It’s the shoes.

  50. Miley Cyrus New Haircut Blonde
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like an albino version of Rihanna.

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