Miley Cyrus’ Fiance Fled To Australia

March 11th, 2013 // 33 Comments
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Miley Cyrus quit Twitter last week after claiming she was sick of tabloid reports that Liam Hemsworth had cheated on her with January Jones and/or Emma Watson. But then she spent the days immediately after that walking around without her engagement ring on, and now People‘s reporting Liam fled to Australia to get the fuck away from her:

Given the recent ups and downs, “Liam did fly home [to Australia on March 1] so they could have a break,” the source adds, noting that he has been spending time with his brother Chris, with whom he is very close.

As for why Liam cheated on Miley, turns out he got sick of being told Hannah Montana is hotter shit than The Hunger Games:

“Miley is crazy about Liam, but sometimes doesn’t treat him great,” the source said at the time. “She likes things her way and tends to play games. Liam is also a strong person and that’s why they often butt heads.”

So Liam Hemsworth got tired of Miley Cyrus being a bitch to him and his move was to run to January Jones who visibly hates her own baby? That’s who he went to for comfort? Jesus. He’d have better luck banging an icebox, and I’m not just saying that because they’re crazy pro-choice. *looks at notes* No, wait, that’s entirely why I’m saying that. “Spite baby = BAD,” I have written down.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Splash News, WENN


  1. maoix

    Wake me when this creature gets a face transplant

  2. Colin

    Wait, so he left her because she’s a bitch which everyone already knew and was destined to happen since birth, and not because she looks more like a lesbian chipmunk every day?

    • ayo

      No. It’s because she looks like a lesbian chipmunk. Combat boots. Combat freakin’ boots. With that haircut. I understand she wanted to ‘go in a different direction’, which isn’t even the issue, I just think she could have done it while maintaining some shred of femininity. I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner.

      Of course this is Hollywood. We don’t even know if the relationship was real or fictitious.

      In the end, no matter what, let’s all just pray that Miley Cyrus does not become the next Lindsay Lohan or some other version of her. One Lindsay is far too much. Ewww.

  3. karlito

    she’s single and broken hearted…it’s country titty time. YEEHAW!!

  4. Miley should be less concerned with her Eisenhower jacket and red clown pants and more concerned with her 19 year old flapjack tittys.

    Bitch has the tits of a 89 swahli mother of 20.

    • Natural tits have a tendency to do that, which is fine with me. Better to have saggers than Jello-shots.

    • maRadebe

      Leave Swahili women alone, there are plenty real flapjacks in America. Besides, we love Miley over here in Kenya. She’s a brave and beautiful young lady. Shame on you for bullying this girl. Stick to Chris Brown.

  5. Minky Wail

    Just imagine how wild the reunion sex with Billy Ray will be.

  6. Inner Retard

    Surpised this didn’t happen sooner. Miley did everything right to turn off a guy. Liam must be one patient man to hold out this long. Or Miley can suck a torpedo through a garden hose. Her tongue might be a clue.

  7. Miley Cyrus Side Boob
    Commented on this photo:

    Goofiest looking pants since MC Hammer

  8. For those of you keeping score at home, Taylor Swift still holds the lead in Number of Men Repelled, but Miley Cyrus has just made an impressive showing in the Total Distance Fled category.

  9. catapostrophe

    This is a riveting story, and so unbelievably well-written. I love this site more and more each day. It just gets better, more interesting and funnier all the time!

  10. Miley Cyrus Side Boob
    Commented on this photo:

    Always remember that when you wear a low-cut outfit with no bra to accessorize with a cross. The last thing you want is for your Christian audience to get the wrong idea about you.
    “Only a heathen slut would wear such a revealing- Oh, she has a cross. Truly thou art upright and holy. Blessings upon you, child of God.”

  11. Miley Cyrus Side Boob
    Commented on this photo:

    Fake smile is fake.

  12. Miley Cyrus Side Boob
    Commented on this photo:

    Extra hand FTW!

  13. “…that’s why they often butt heads.”
    Well it’s no fucking wonder Liam is unhappy. They’ve been doin’ “it” wrong all this time…

  14. So Miley Cyrus is a bitch? That’s breaking news right there. It’s not like we’ve known this for years. She is a child of Disney after all.

  15. Miley Cyrus Side Boob
    Commented on this photo:

    If I see someone walking down the street looking like this, I’m almost certainly going to think “not playing with a full deck”. But you know, OK, celebs don’t live in the real world, so OK. And if her boyfriend wants to go to Australia, I don’t have a problem with that, since he’s, um, er, AUSTRALIAN! HE’S FROM AUSTRALIA YOU ASSHOLES!

    So in conclusion, since celebs tend to be ludicrously overpaid for the amount of actual work they do, and since the paps tend to hand on like flys on sugar… I blame the press for this. Can it, guys!

  16. right

    A passive aggressive move from a guy who is fuckin weak. Cheat on the gf. Just break up with the bitch, then fuck whomever you want. If he wasn’t in a relationship, January wouldn’t be interested in fuckin him. She only likes sex where there is a possibility of ruining somebody elses relationship.

  17. kery

    Miley looks so lesbian and that guy lives with her only to be famous because he is nobody!!

  18. That’s one hellified receding chin.

  19. Herman Bumfudle


  20. Pete Nice

    Are you guys sure that this isn’t Eric Roberts?

  21. Miley Cyrus Side Boob
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s with the phantom hand around her waist?

  22. Mup

    He finally realized he couldn’t stand waking up next to a friggin Wildabeast every morning.

  23. the wrecker

    IN a couple years she will be truly irrelevant and THEN the sparks will start to fly. Hang in there, car crash junkies. Hang in there.

  24. Miley Cyrus Side Boob
    Commented on this photo:

    All I ever see are those fucking teeth. Those awful awful teeth.

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