Miley Cyrus Is Apparently Handicapped Now

March 21st, 2012 // 79 Comments
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Miley Cyrus
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When Miley Cyrus arrived to her Pilates class yesterday, apparently she was stricken with a rare disease that left her just capable enough to perform intense exercises for several hours, but not enough to walk an extra few feet to the door. So she really had no choice but to park in a handicap space. Also, what handicapped person is parking outside a Pilates studio anyway? Sure, they could be auditing the class, or just want to experience the thrill of movement through others, but that’s just going to lead to depression. So in a way, you might say Miley Cyrus saved them from a night of eating their emotions while a loaded gun sits on the table offering sweet, sweet escape. She’s like an angel.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Splash News


  1. Lisamariexd

    Have you HEARD her speak? Of course shes fucking handicapped!

    • Richard McBeef

      Wait…. all I need is a webcam, a glass coffee table, and loaded bowels? Sign me the fuck up and start sending the checks.

      • My Co-Worker’s ex-wife…… that right there says it all.

      • Oh, this running bit McBeef’s been doing was in response to spammers? Well, shit, I suppose it’s funny, but don’t you know by now that the admins always delete the spam eventually, and then everyone who sees this afterwards ends up scratching their heads going WTF?

        I guess what I’m saying is: Doc, your comedy is just going to waste here.

      • Richard McBeef

        i know tom. it’s a fleeting treat for the early birds. i’ve never understood why fish leaves the spammer replies dangling after they get deleted but i went into it knowing it would happen.

        whatever, i don’t care if people are scratching their heads or their nuts.

    • Waste the spammer plox.

  2. Any Guy

    non-handicapped people who park in handicapped spaces should be shot in the knees. seriously. SO wrong. pieces of SHIT.

    • Carolyn

      Go eat yourself.

    • Schmidtler

      whoever the asshole is that decided that somehow the government should have the right to force private property owners to devote all their best parking spaces in front of skating rinks and fitness centers for people who will never show up and can’t patronize their businesses anyway should be shot. go watch the episode of ‘Bullshit’ on the Americans with Disabilities Act.

      • Elle

        Oh, you think handicapped people can’t work out? Or do Pilates? My brother was in a wheelchair…and no, not because he was obese, because of injuries incurred during war, and he was still active. Being handicapped does not relegate a person to a sedentary lifestyle.

      • Schmidtler

        one more time, if he’s that active, he can walk from a normal spot like everybody else.

  3. Joaquin ingles

    Average person with handicapped sticker = morbidly obese asshole.

    • This^. Look at my story below. The chick was fatter than my jeep. Too bad honey. push away from the table and stop eating all the grease filled crap you eat.

    • vandinz

      Aah right, it’s OK then. So people like my 4yr old nephew with Cancer can fuck off and carry his oxygen tank from the other side of the car park. The lazy bastard he is.

      • Schmidtler

        wow, your 4 year old kid drives a car? no? then wtf does he need a handicapped parking spot for, asshole?

      • CranAppleSnapple

        You should rot in imaginary hell for that remark.

        I hope your fetid grey matter can work itself around the notion that the child’s parents probably need extra space to help the child and equipment in and out of the car?
        Now go squelch back under your rock where you belong, you piece of shit.

  4. EricLr

    Considering how many arrogant, spoiled douchebags there are in LA, I imagine there isn’t a free handicapped spot to be found in the city. Must suck to actually be handicapped and find your only spot taken by one of Michael Bay’s 20 Ferraris.

    • Liberal Fascist

      Exactly. It’s the same in New York. Every car has some kind of special permit to park wherever the fck they want – handicapped permit (for a non-handicapped driver), NYPD permit, FDNY permit, EDP permit, government worker, inspector permits.

      Laws are for the little people.

      • It’s the same everywhere. My nephew is handicapped and before he came along I didn’t give much thought to the situation. However, now when I see someone park in one of those spots I go ballistic. Haha, got a lady arrested the other day because she had a fake card.

  5. Miley Cyrus Handicap Space
    Commented on this photo:

    We all know she is mentally handicapped. But we don’t care about her so called mind. We just want to see the body with as few clothes on as possible.

  6. Miley Cyrus Handicap Space
    Grand Dragon
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the best picture of Miley I have ever seen.

  7. Miley Cyrus Handicap Space
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    She is beginning to look a little Britney around the middle.

  8. Miley Cyrus Handicap Space
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:


  9. Miley Cyrus Handicap Space
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Do you think she knows the steering wheel is on the other side of the car?

  10. Miley Cyrus Handicap Space
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Pilates is Tennessean for nachos.

  11. Miley Cyrus Handicap Space
    Introf Begeddin
    Commented on this photo:

    If you parked your vehicle in a proper spot like a decent human being you wouldn’t have to cover your face while walking to your car or read about these people wanting to pee in your butt.

  12. grobpilot

    Nice wonk-eye on that dude in pic #3

  13. I always find it amusing that these people who go someplace to work out will typically park in the handicapped spot. Excuse me, you are working out. You need the excercise. Park far far away!

    • Tiffany Amber Thiessen

      YES! Why do people do this? People at my gym also like to “make” their own parking spots because they are too lazy to park and walk. You are at the gym; shouldn’t you appreciate some extra exercise?!

    • Schmidtler

      Isn’t it the handicapped people that should be parking further away for the extra exercise – I mean, they spend their whole day sitting in those fucking wheelchairs!

  14. it had to be said

    I feel like the quality of comments has dropped dramatically. I blame the ability to post pictures of whatever.

  15. meme

    uhm it looks like she’s getting picked up.

    • El Jefe

      Shhh, don’t introduce logic, common sense and truth into this.

    • Maybe… thought that , too. doesn’t look like anyone in the car but the car is definitely off as the side mirrors are folded. Also explain why she entered on the right.

      • Kate

        Nope, she was being picked up. Her friend even tweeted about it saying that she was swarmed by paps so he stopped there for less than a minute to pick her up. You can see him in the car, and obviously she was getting in on the PASSENGER side.
        But it’s Miley so people ignore logic.

  16. Frank Burns

    She’s also convinced that as soon as she finishes that Pilates class, she’ll be able to fly a Boeing 787.

    • Richard McBeef

      somebody already flew a couple into the trade center, so I wonder what Miley has in mind.

      • Frank Burns

        The old windmill down at Sassafras Creek, ’cause it blocks her view of Cornbread Acres where Liam works in the rhubarb fields.

  17. Internet

    She is handicapped; bitch can’t read.

  18. flip

    Dave Attell. That’s the great man, btw.

  19. I Wonder Who Is Behind That Sweater , Is It A Ghost?

    Dumb bitch if you covered your leg from the cameras instead of your face could have at least acted like you broke your knee.

  20. Miley Cyrus Handicap Space
    little turtle head
    Commented on this photo:

    The one time only I’ve been for burkhas….

  21. Anonymous

    Meh…she’s stupid as hell to park there but seriously…a handicap space in front of a pilates center? I have a feeling that space has never been used by the truly handicapped.

  22. Lindsey

    To everyone commenting that the handicapped spot is probably never used: Pilates was originally developed as a series of rehabilitation exercises and it is still a popular method of rehabbing injuries. So yes, Miley is being an asshole by parking there, because it most likely is frequently used by people who actually are handicapped (temporarily or permanently).

    • Stephen Hawking doesn’t do pilates. Liar.

    • Trek Girl

      That is exactly what I came here to say. There are a lot of handicapped and disabled people that can and do benifit from pilates. I doubt Miley is one of them.

    • Schmidtler

      there’s a difference between rehabbing an injury, and being handicapped dumbass. I personally have not once in my life ever seen a handicapped person in the gym, at the skating rink, but they are required to have those spots out front, which makes no sense. If there was any real demand for handicapped spots, businesses wouldn’t have to be forced to put them there.

  23. Miley Cyrus Handicap Space
    Dr. Kevorkian
    Commented on this photo:

    Bad karma. She’s going to sever her spine.

  24. Miley Cyrus Handicap Space
    Mrs. Salt
    Commented on this photo:

    She would if been more successful using her buck teeth as a shield versus using that “t shirt”

  25. Miley Cyrus Handicap Space
    Commented on this photo:

    Her muffin top will look really nice in a year or so.

  26. just the way it is...

    Not surprised. Most people who occupy those spots aren’t really handicapped or helping someone who is. Most are just lazy oafs that don’t feel like walking or want to go looking for a regular spot.

  27. Doc

    She should live stream her life for a year

  28. Jasmine

    She was getting picked up, hence getting in the passenger side. This does not constitute parking in a handicapped spot.

  29. Miley Cyrus Handicap Space
    Connect the Dots
    Commented on this photo:

    Was she meeting Stephen Hawking, Russell Brand or both?

  30. Big Guy

    Being a selfish self absorbed troll is a form of mental illness, so therefore …she is

  31. Miley Cyrus Handicap Space
    Commented on this photo:

    the way her car is parked indicates she is indeed handicapped

  32. Miley Cyrus Handicap Space
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the second time in less than two weeks this little asshole has parked a luxury car in a handicapped space to do Pilates. Why doesnt she get ticketed or at least shamed into the realization she is not important in the least, def not to take a handi spot. She is such white trash!

    • Kate

      Because it’s not her that’s doing it. She’s always being picked up by her friend. Doesn’t make it right but people need to lay off the insults.

  33. Miley Cyrus Handicap Space
    Commented on this photo:

    While Miley is a doush for parking in a handicap spot, you should have blocked out her license plate.

  34. Miley Cyrus Handicap Space
    Commented on this photo:

    Everyone knows 6LPC881 is Miley’s plate. Its even on Youtube.

  35. Miley Cyrus Handicap Space
    Commented on this photo:

    So why arent the cops not sending her two tickets in the mail?

  36. Miley Cyrus Handicap Space
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s ok to show her tits, but don’t show her license plate.

  37. Miley Cyrus Handicap Space
    Commented on this photo:

    Looking at this little girl’s body she needs strength training more than aerobics or yoga, her health advisor is not doing the best for her.

  38. Taylor Swifts Tampon String

    I would rim her sweaty ass right after that little workout she was doing…I may even do it right there in the handicap slot…it has to taste like a fruit rollup.

  39. Miley Cyrus Handicap Space
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoever wrote this article is an idiot. ‘Handicapped’ does not mean quadriplegic. You can be handicapped and still participate in pilates.

  40. Handicapped people shouldn’t be driving.

  41. Miley Cyrus Handicap Space
    Commented on this photo:

    What an idiot! My goddaughter loves this moron, too. Christ…no wonder the world hates us!

  42. Miley Cyrus Handicap Space
    Mister Manly
    Commented on this photo:

    To be fair, there probably isn’t too many handicapped people doing pilates. I’d probably park in those spots too. I’m kind of an asshole like that.

  43. Miley Cyrus Handicap Space
    Commented on this photo:

    Miley: I have a physically disabled daughter who has worked so hard to walk and I actually feel sorry for you that you need to park so close to go and EXERCISE! Think about it! Parking closer to save the energy so you can go pay to expend energy? I would think that you of all people would be grateful for your abilities and not need to take something that is not intended for your benefit. You could actually hire someone to carry you from the next space if you were too tired to walk one space further. If there are nearby regular spaces, we take them and leave the handicapped spots for those less fortunate than our own child. You should spend the day with my daughter to see the difference from her life to yours. I believe you would come away as an advocate for the disabled, not one who is disrespectful of their needs.

  44. Miley Cyrus Handicap Space
    Commented on this photo:

    P.S. It’s ironic – your song “The Climb” is one of her favorites as it embodies the struggles she faces and how she tries to enjoy each moment despite the difficulties.

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