There’s an old saying that’s served me well over the years, “A couple that eats penis cake together, stays together.” Which is why with a proud heart and this here jug of moonshine, I formally present to you the engagement of Destiny Hope Cyrus, or “Miley” to kinfolk and the like, and Thor’s brother from whatever that country with all them boomerangs Crocodile Dundee is from. France, I reckon. People reports:
I’m so happy to be engaged and look forward to a life of happiness with Liam,” Cyrus, 19, tells PEOPLE.
Australian actor Hemsworth, 22, who met Cyrus when they costarred in The Last Song in 2009, proposed on May 31 with a 3.5-carat diamond ring from jeweler Neil Lane.
Hillbilly accents aside, what I love most about this story is the positive message that it sends Hannah Montana fans. Namely that if you get super-sick thin and wear a bunch of slutty outfits, you’ll eventually trick your boyfriend into making an exaggerated gesture to convince you he’s not going to leave you which ultimately won’t work because you’re a woman but at least you can make all your friends jealous. That or she’s pregnant. Either way take notes, youngins.