There’s an old saying that’s served me well over the years, “A couple that eats penis cake together, stays together.” Which is why with a proud heart and this here jug of moonshine, I formally present to you the engagement of Destiny Hope Cyrus, or “Miley” to kinfolk and the like, and Thor’s brother from whatever that country with all them boomerangs Crocodile Dundee is from. France, I reckon. People reports:
I’m so happy to be engaged and look forward to a life of happiness with Liam,” Cyrus, 19, tells PEOPLE.
Australian actor Hemsworth, 22, who met Cyrus when they costarred in The Last Song in 2009, proposed on May 31 with a 3.5-carat diamond ring from jeweler Neil Lane.
Hillbilly accents aside, what I love most about this story is the positive message that it sends Hannah Montana fans. Namely that if you get super-sick thin and wear a bunch of slutty outfits, you’ll eventually trick your boyfriend into making an exaggerated gesture to convince you he’s not going to leave you which ultimately won’t work because you’re a woman but at least you can make all your friends jealous. That or she’s pregnant. Either way take notes, youngins.
Photos: AKM-GSI
There is a reason the birds sing louder today and the sun shines brighter. Miley Cyrus has been with a generation since she was a young girl, singing her way into the spotlight with hit after hit, proving she has the staying power many other singers simply do not have.
So let’s all send out a warm congratulations to Miley, for not only touching our lives with her voice and beauty, but for making today that much better with this wonderful news.
Randal
An uncluttered mind . You apparently have no cogent thoughts, just happy platitudes
No disrespect intended, indeed. However, all of the glorious singers out there deserve a “shout out” for their wonderful talents.
Hi kELLI
Just curious…don’t you think kRAZYhOTkELLI would have made more sense? You could use the “k” from kELLI in the kRAZY and that would tie it all together. I’m no expert in marketing or graphic design, but I thought I would throw it out there.
tAKE kARE!
This was sarcasm Randal, right?
i think so.
but sarcasm does not translate well in text form
You posted a link from a gay site to a gay site….thanks?!?
She legally changed her name to Miley her name is no longer Destiny.
You, I and her father would, and if you say otherwise then youse just a dang ol’, honest to god, homersectual.
This is Billy , and yes , I did !
I’m still shocked that punkinhead apparently turned out heterosexual.
They must love smokin’ the weed together.
Good luck with that.
“C’mon dog! I used Jiff this time, not that cheap stuff from Walmart”
It’s Jif and goddamn right i’m a choosey mom.
As long as we’re giving spelling lessons, there’s no e in “choosy.” Stick to medicine and chem, Doc, where you’re strongest.
http://www.oed.com/view/Entry/32237?redirectedFrom=choosey#eid
[img]http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-hBlO47JAZqM/TadOPxfXjzI/AAAAAAAABX4/-et_Rq8tpdo/s320/jif.jpg[/img]
I told you to stop embarrassing me in public. My friends are starting to ask why I’m still with you even though you treat me like an idiot.
Oh, Doc…isn’t it obvious? I embarrass you in public so kimmy will notice me.
Pistols at dawn? You’ll never win this, Professor.
Oh, you two! How’d I get brought into this? Before you guys start the fight, gimme a minute to make some popcorn and pull up a comfy chair. This is gonna be good.
if its a double K.O. i call dibs :)
Dooood! You can’t have dibs! You just made a marriage pact with your cousin! That’s family, dude. Family first.
TomFrank, I notice you just fine, as long you keep the shoe pics coming and answer my pop culture questions that I’m too laz-I mean, busy at work to google on my own. Oh and the Seinfeld references because those, I get. Usually.
But really “choosy” looks funny without an “e”. “Choosey” just looks better. Still looks funny, but a better funny. Yeah, they should change it.
Choosey is one of those word that is spelt differently in traditional english and American english. English spells it “choosey” Americans spell it “choosy”
Americans started removingt letters they thought were unneccesary from words a while back. Like removing the “U” from: Humour, favour etc.
^seriously?
kind of gawky and akward…..just odd looking.
i would hump once perhpas, but definately not marry or even date
You would hump the dog or Miley Cyrus?
look at that ass!!! mylie’s doesn’t look bad either…
I have to say that ass doesn’t look attractive at all. It’s a preview of what’s to come 15 years from now….I don’t envy the soon to be hubby.
She’s better off prancing around without a bra than bending over in funny fitting jean shorts that make her ass start to look big.
Don’t tell me you honestly believe they’ll still be together in 15 years?
When I think of factors that go into a strong marriage devoid of needless drama, getting hitched at 19 is at the top of the list.
Destiny Hope? It’s a miracle she didn’t wind up on the pole at Jim Bobs Stab Wounds ‘n Stretch Marks Gentlemens club…
I had hoped that would be her destiny.
It still is.
I still think they are each others beards.
Aussie-boy, in the battle of love and marriage, always remember the most important advice: “Always have an exit strategy.”
“Why buy the milk when you can fuck the cow for free, amirite?”- Billy Ray Cyrus
Engaged is still a long way from married.
Liam is the ugly version of Chris.
Lia isn’t even ugly. It’s just that his brother is Thor. There was nothing he could do.
*Liam
That did not work out well.
Fish, that’s a mighty succinct description of engagement. Well done!
Now we know what she was spitting off the balcony last week.
Liam will soon learn what all married men figure out eventually – they do that to get married… Not to stay married.
Seriously though, have you tried it? It’s yucky. :)
Depends on your man’s diet. Or so I’ve heard.
I reckon that shot gun is full of buckshot. Yee hah!
Offspring are likely to be imbeciles
If you take two inbred individuals and cross them, the resulting offspring may display some level of outbreeding enhancement or heterosis. However, this only works if the two inbred individuals used in the cross are somewhat divergent from each other.
Doc, I think the phrase you’re looking for is, “When a Targaryen is born, the gods flip a coin.”
so anyway, i might marry my cousin. :D
i was celebrating my great aunt’s 100th birthday last week and we’re all talking n somehow it came up in the conversation that
a long long time ago, one of our relatives actually married his cousin.
someone said isn’t that illegal or somethin?
my cousin is like nah, we could totally get married if we wanted.
so i’m like whoa! how bout if neither of us is married by the time we are 40 or w/e, we get married?
she’s like, you got good health insurance? yea!!
so there’s somethin to smile about… celebration!!
Many people don’t realize that cousin marriage is perfectly legal in roughly half the states and much of the rest of the world.
Good luck with that,dude.
Correction, 2/3 imbeciles and 1/3 moron
When did she start wearing diapers, again?
The whole world should be in awe , She’s wearing shoes !
At least Hannah Montana’s still single, and free to date Miley’s dad.
2 dogs 4 paws
That poor dog had more dignity when it was eating its own poop.
Oh, I can’t wait for her pretentious speeches about not getting married as a teen.
something must be very wrong with this guy to want to spend the rest of his life with this chick. ok, not the rest of his life, maybe 3 years tops.
Good idea, Miley. Giving your dog a tug-job is a great way to learn how to please a man.
So, it turns out Lemmi is a pooch.Now we know.
She’s knocked up, isn’t she?
this disgusting piece of cankled trash is now going to get some classy wedding tattoos to show how expressive, hip & edgy she is.
So either she’s on the broke side and needs some divorce money,
or she’s knocked up…
anyway… that poor poor guy doesn’t know what he’s getting into…
Ahh the start to a long career of failed marriages …
…now THAT is an ass!!!!
Miley looks ok too.
She has to be knocked up. From a PR standpoint, they would have waited another year until she was 20 so the media couldn’t run with “Teenage Miley engaged” instead of “Miley engaged.”
She HAS to know that the photogs are getting this shot right here??
Spank and eat.
Redneck whore.
I’m looking forward to the penis shaped wedding cake.
They won’t even make it to the altar. And if they do, I give them 5 years tops. Also, how long do you guys think it will take for Miley or Liam to stop giving a fuck and just get fat? Cause that’s what marriage is.
You one ugly muthafucka!