Miley Cyrus Canceled Her Bangerz Tour

April 21st, 2014 // 27 Comments
Miley Cyrus Hospitalized
Miley Cyrus Hospital
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If you’ve noticed a sudden freshness to the air along with a general feeling of improved health across America, Miley Cyrus has officially canceled the remaining US dates of her Bangerz tour before she even got a chance to blow Teddy Roosevelt. Theoretically, the tour will resume in August once she’s recovered from an allergic reaction to antibiotics, but that’s if you believe the official story, and not the real one which is she miscarried Billy Ray Cyrus‘ baby. All the cool kids are doing it.

Photos: CYVR/AKM-GSI, Getty

superficial

  1. You’re just gonna be shitting on Lindsay all day, huh? I love it.

    Get well soon, Miley.

  2. II had assumed that ” allergic reaction to antibiotics” was the new “cool” term for what we used to call a nervous breakdown.

    • anonymous

      Or her and her crew were doing so much drugs they accidentally set one of their tour buses on fire.

      You set a bus on fire; it’s time for rehab.

    • Dave ain't here man

      ‘allergic reaction’ is hippster slag for what we oldsters used to refer to as OD’ing on some bad shit.

  3. Miley Cyrus Ass Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    PassingTrue
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m just trying to imaging the rest of the cast at the unemployment office trying to explain their last job and the skills they have to offer. Which may include asking people if they “want fries with that”.

    • You fail horribly in this post…I didn’t know back up dancers/cast for celebrities shows/entertainment were uneducated fry pushers…these are young actors and dancer, just because you’re playing a part on stage doesnt mean that who you are…

      Julia Roberts played a big mouthed prostiture in Pretty Woman, but…wait forget it.

  4. Juch

    Oh noes! Now I’ll have to hope one of the Duck Dynasty guys bends over so’s I can get my fill of hillbilly ass.

  5. ace11

    Damn.. that must have been some really bad rabbit stew she swallowed

  6. JC

    But where will all the “art-deprived” kids she was saving find their fix of hillbilly chicks diddling themselves?

    Oh, right. xtube.com.

  7. Bane

    Allergic reaction to antibiotics. See O.D.

  8. Even her antibiotics think Miley is an infection.

  9. Dox

    Bearing in mind that I realize I am a completely horrible person….

    But its like Christmas.
    Lindsay’s rockin the serial liar thing, Tequila is pregnant with (one can only assume a time traveling child), and no Cyrus had reaction to her yeast infection medication.

    There really is a god.

  10. It seems like her career has just turned into one long audition for an Ace Ventura reboot.

  11. Game of Lawn Chairs

    The CDC did warn Miley’s doctors the antibiotics were strong enough to take on Lindsay Lohan infected with the bubonic plague. But all they wanted to know was, Is it strong enough to get the tour canceled?

  12. Cock Dr

    Allergic reaction to antibiotics.
    Ok, it’s possible.
    But far more likely IMO is exhaustion & collapse due to an eating disorder and hard partying constantly for months.

  13. Ralph

    Who cares?

  14. Skarsgard must have been in town. Miley is pregnant, Tila is pregnant, and only the Skarsgard could have impregnated Lindsay, even briefly.

  15. Miley Cyrus Ass Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Commented on this photo:

    She has the kind of face you can’t help but want to deck.

  16. Why do the paid spokespeople even bother with this shit about “allergic reaction to antibiotics?” (I had one of those and I was over it in 2 days. Please.)

    Ms Cyrus is just going to spill the beans herself during some kiss-and-tell-all interview in the future. So why bother with the bullshit now?

  17. Larissa

    Plot twist: Antibiotics can interfere with the effectiveness of birth control pills. Miley is pregnant.

  18. Miley Cyrus Ass Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Commented on this photo:

    The Blatantly Obvious: Sinus Infection From Snorting Way Too Much Blow #1. Sticking out your tongue, drugs
    #2. Glassy eyes in every photo, drugs
    #3. bending over and Fisting yourself on stage, drugs
    #4. Sounding like she does when she talks, drugs
    #5. SINUS INFECTION, DRUGGGSSSSS
    Lmao

  19. Miley Cyrus Ass Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Schizoid Embolism
    Commented on this photo:

    Initially, i was fooled by the audience hands in the photo that are blocking out most of the reflected light near her crotch. It made it look as if her costume had slipped to the side down there. However, it’s merely an exciting optical illusion and unfortunately her wardrobe is not experiencing a major malfunction.

  20. Miley Cyrus Ass Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Bieber hater
    Commented on this photo:

    I was cringing looking at all of these photos….Why, why, why…put your horrible tongue back in your mouth and put some dam clothes on……you look like a teenage little boy.

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