And Now Back To ‘A Vadgity Chipmunk Christmas’

The Superficial / December 12, 2013

Things got a tad divisive earlier, so here’s Miley Cyrus reminding us what the season is really about: Staring at a 21-year-old’s labia while she smacks a midget’s ass. Which sounds unseemly when I say it, so here’s how Charles Dickens originally described it:

Shaving was not an easy task, for his hand continued to shake very much; and shaving requires attention, even when you don’t dance while you are at it. But if he had cut the end of his nose off, he would have put a piece of sticking-plaister over it, and been quite satisfied.

See? An entire passage about shaving a dancing vagina for the yuletide. By gum, you can practically smell the Christmas goose just reading it. Tell us more of figgy twerks, Master Dickens!

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty