If you’re like me, you saw pictures of Miley Cyrus pretending to blow Bill Clinton during her Bangerz tour and thought, “Well, that doesn’t seem fair to the other presidents.” Except here she is sucking off Abe Lincoln because apparently she wasn’t lying when she said this thing would be educational. So not only do we owe Miley an apology, but I’ve already started handing out pics outside of elementary schools. Which has gone over so well that sometimes the police even show up to pat me on the back. Although mostly they just touch my legs, crotch and chest. Just hug me, guys. Don’t be shy about it.