Happy President’s Day! It’s Miley Cyrus Blowing A Dude In A Bill Clinton Mask

February 17th, 2014 // 232 Comments

Alright, folks, technically it’s a work holiday, but I couldn’t leave you without at least throwing herpes, nihilism, and Miley Cyrus in your face. So here are 80 pics from the start of her X-rated Live Bangerz Tour in Vancouver complete with Vagina Diddle 2.0, midgets dressed as joints, lesbiantry, and Bill Clinton BJs because Happy Birthday, George Washington. It’s what you always wanted. See you tomorrow.

Photos: CYVR/AKM-GSI, Getty, Splash News

superficial

  1. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Venkman007
    Commented on this photo:

    Dear Miley Cyrus-

    Please go away.

    Signed,
    Pretty Much Everyone.

  2. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s mastered the single entendre.

  3. BlinkyTheFish

    She seriously can’t find someone to watch her purse while she’s onstage?

  4. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    BlinkyTheFish
    Commented on this photo:

    Her pa must be so proud. No, seriously – I’m sure he taught her all these moves to begin with.

  5. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    Semi-serious question: Yes, she’s doing this all in a desperate attempt for continuing attention and relevance, but do the 13-year-old girls who (presumably) make up most of her fan base really want to watch Miley diddle herself for two hours? If so, everything I’ve been told about women watching porn is wrong.

    • Aunt Cracker

      They may want to be Miley but likely not watch that any more than 10 minutes. She’s not the best role model but at least she’s not the worst.

    • tlmck

      They interviewed some of the 20 something Olympians several were fans of Miley, especially the male athletes.

  6. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, Vivid has really upped the budget on these Axel Braun parodies.

    Wait… WHAT?

  7. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    JW
    Commented on this photo:

    Muppet Porn???

  8. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Woody Allen
    Commented on this photo:

    Older man, younger women…thats just sick, and wrong.

  9. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Freebie
    Commented on this photo:

    What outrageous stunt is she going to do next to get attention? F**k a dog onstage?

  10. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Commented on this photo:

    Piece of fucking white trash!
    `

  11. John Adams

    It’s not President’s [sic] Day! Get it right!

  12. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Mr. Fahrenheit
    Commented on this photo:

    Miley proclaimed her Bangerz tour to be educational. Here she demonstrates how a round hole cannot fit into another round hole.

  13. PassingTrue

    I do hope she’s made a bunch of money and that it will hold her for the rest of her life. Her one note performance has gotten way past old. Perhaps Shia LaBoef (sp) can loan her the bag.

  14. Y’guys, what if all of this is actually very highbrow, pop art satire to the nth degree? She’s basically making an oversized caricature of the white trash American Dream inthe biggest performance art piece the world has ever seen? What if she’s like an Andy Kaufman-level genius parodying the superstar redneck motif she’s always been raised within while laughing at the legions of fans who flock to her extreme white-trash shows and mocking the idiots who get all riled up about it, and then she laughs all the way to the bank and lives in seclusion the rest of her life?
    Then the joke would be… no wait. The joke would still be on her because Christ… Diddling yourself on a golden car in a weed onesie with a bleached blonde bowl cut? Even Satan is appalled.

    • Lucifer

      To be fair, yes I am.

      -But only because Miley reminds I’d clearly forgotten a few depravities when I fever-dreamed the Bazinga out of Hieronymous Bosch when he painted “The Last Judgment” and panel 3 of “The Garden of Earthly Delights”.

  15. By gum, that stage show *is* educational! Just from the pictures I learned you can try so hard to be outrageous that you’re completely boring.

  16. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Bane
    Commented on this photo:

    Just get into porn already.

    • Mrs Opinionated

      For her next show she´ll be pulling that aside and squirting over the audience.
      We all know she´ll do it!

  17. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    P. Kerr
    Commented on this photo:

    Pigtail chick won’t walk for a week.

  18. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Hate Miley
    Commented on this photo:

    Worst. Version of “The Bachelor”. Ever.

  19. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Andie
    Commented on this photo:

    GROSS!

  20. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Steve R.
    Commented on this photo:

    Just when Miley couldn’t get any lower she plays keep away with a midget.

  21. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Shemp
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus fuck! At first I honestly thought “vibrator”? “tampon”? “Spermatozoa”?
    But it’s a dwarf dressed up as a doobie, isn’t it?

    This shit is “Spinal Tap” funny. But not intended in an ironic way. This shit’s for real. Holeeee fuck…

  22. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    PaulaDeen
    Commented on this photo:

    That ass is disgusting

  23. All that’s missing are the giant flashing neon signs that read “NO, YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP DAD”

  24. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Commented on this photo:

    The blue monster looks horrified by the taint in the middle of her pancake ass.

  25. anonymous

    There seems to be dozens and dozens of performers on this tour but not a single one of them is playing an instrument.

  26. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    CANTSTOPSTARING
    Commented on this photo:

    In every picture like this, there’s always a bulldog in the background saying it all with his eyes.

  27. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s like an advert for haemorrhoid cream.

  28. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Commented on this photo:

    A slutty Barney Rubble.

  29. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Commented on this photo:

    sloth from the goonies.

  30. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s like a sad proctology poster.

  31. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Commented on this photo:

    She could be another one of those porn actresses who both doesn’t like sex and is a lousy actor.

  32. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Commented on this photo:

    Madea goes to the Bunny Ranch

  33. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    I approve of this outfit/pose.

  34. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Commented on this photo:

    Seen it a hundred times get a boob job and try a new pose.

  35. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Maybe she should just ride the Simbian (sic) onstage for 2 hours and have them play Motley Crue over the speakers. I’d go to that.

  36. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s like a female Austin Power’s “do I make ya horny baby?”

  37. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that Gene Simmons on her back?

  38. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Commented on this photo:

    Ace: “Thank you for all your cooperation, by the way, do you have a mint, perhaps some Binaca?”

  39. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    eatme
    Commented on this photo:

    nasty

  40. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Commented on this photo:

    Her parents must be very proud.

    • oh they are- honest.
      billy ray even did a remake of achey breakey heart (a rap version) and he even added some lines including making mention of his daughter’s twerking. so yes, they are indeed proud of her “shows”

  41. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m guessing kuato is under there “get to the reactor.”

  42. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Commented on this photo:

    She is truly pathetic.

  43. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    K-tron
    Commented on this photo:

    Damon Albarn’s still got it. But he shouldn’t degrade himself for a check like this. Where is all that “Song 2″ money?

  44. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Commented on this photo:

    Look at the woman’s face that’s due south from the crotch.

    Also, is it weird that the average age of the front row people is about 44 years old?

  45. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    K-tron
    Commented on this photo:

    When all her tween fans have sex for the first time, I think they’ll be shocked to find men don’t have a foam finger down there.

  46. anonym

    not gonna lie. I got a semiboner looking at some of those pics. My mind is trash.

    Your turn, Katy Perry.

  47. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    ThrewUpInMyMouth
    Commented on this photo:

    You’ve got a typo in the headline. It should read:

    Miley Cyrus X-Rated Live Brazzers Tour

  48. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    Commented on this photo:

    Creepy stalker is shown at the 3 o’clock position off her ass.

  49. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    K-tron
    Commented on this photo:

    “Dis how plucked chicken look, y’all.”

  50. Miley Cyrus Blowing Bill Clinton Masturbating Bangerz Tour
    ThrewUpInMyMouth
    Commented on this photo:

    “Do you love me now, Daddy?”

Leave A Comment