Miley Cyrus Wore A Bikini, Have You Heard?
Miley Cyrus spent the weekend posting pics and videos of herself in a bikini to Instagram because apparently she’s very concerned with proving her January is better than yours and also “when bae got a bunk mug but dat a$$ phat & dat body greazzzy.” Which roughly translates to, “I am very, very white and feel bad about my Southern heritage, so I’m going to fuck the offspring of an Austrian super soldier. Okay, maybe I should’ve thought this through.”
Miley Cyrus telling you to “Fuck your January.” Actual words.
And Abigail Ratchford because why show just one bikini video? That just seems rude.