In all the
long, veiny, 100% beef, I’ve been a bad, bad secretary confusion yesterday, I missed the TMZ report that Miley Cyrus (Who’s 19, by the way.) is a battery suspect after getting into a fight at a Hollywood bar because it was only a matter of time until her life became The Dukes of Hazzard:
The alleged victim filed a police report early Sunday morning with the LAPD … claiming he and his friends were sitting behind Miley and her fiance Liam Hemsworth at Beacher’s Madhouse at the Roosevelt Hotel when things got rowdy.
The alleged victim claims he and his friends accidentally bumped into Liam’s chair and the two camps exchanged words … an argument that quickly escalated.
The alleged victim claims Liam got in his face and Miley jumped in the middle to break it up — but not before pushing him away and striking him in the face.
Keep in mind, Miley Cyrus comes from a rich, white trash heritage where her father’s mullet is still revered in hushed whispers, so really, we should be congratulating her in this case for fighting her natural instinct to stand up on the table and start firing a musket.
MILEY: Time to shoot me some coons. Whoo-ee!
LIAM: Miley, we’re in the city. There aren’t any raccoons for miles.
MILEY: I weren’t talkin’ ’bout them ‘coons. *click-click*