In all the long, veiny, 100% beef, I’ve been a bad, bad secretary confusion yesterday, I missed the TMZ report that Miley Cyrus (Who’s 19, by the way.) is a battery suspect after getting into a fight at a Hollywood bar because it was only a matter of time until her life became The Dukes of Hazzard:
The alleged victim filed a police report early Sunday morning with the LAPD … claiming he and his friends were sitting behind Miley and her fiance Liam Hemsworth at Beacher’s Madhouse at the Roosevelt Hotel when things got rowdy.
The alleged victim claims he and his friends accidentally bumped into Liam’s chair and the two camps exchanged words … an argument that quickly escalated.
The alleged victim claims Liam got in his face and Miley jumped in the middle to break it up — but not before pushing him away and striking him in the face.
Keep in mind, Miley Cyrus comes from a rich, white trash heritage where her father’s mullet is still revered in hushed whispers, so really, we should be congratulating her in this case for fighting her natural instinct to stand up on the table and start firing a musket.
MILEY: Time to shoot me some coons. Whoo-ee!
LIAM: Miley, we’re in the city. There aren’t any raccoons for miles.
MILEY: I weren’t talkin’ ’bout them ‘coons. *click-click*
Photos: Fame/Flynet
I really hate this bitch but reading all the stupid shit she does is incredibly entertaining. I just can’t look away!
I’ve paid $50 before, but $62 is a weird number for a blowjob, yes?
Did she get punched in the mouth hard enough to knock those buck teeth back a bit into her head??? Please???
She’s pretty high-end trailer trash not to have stabbed someone. I bet she’ll only go topless in the club.
From this angle, she looks like an autistic boy.
And I know that’s going to offend everyone that knows anyone who has ever been or known someone who was or might have been related in any way to someone who is autistic. So let me say I’m sorry for offending autistic people by comparing them to Miley Cyrus. Please don’t find out where I live and put those puzzle piece bumper stickers all over my trailer.
You are sooooo mean! Hahahahahahahaha…
Don’t hate her because she is rich .
Get back to hunting them coons Miley
I think we hate her because she’s useless… and rich.
Get it right.
She used to be almost maybe kinda hot.
she never was anywhere near cute or good looking. Then only thing good about her is her body.
Maybe she’s just really unintelligent.
Maybe?
After-fight trailer park sex with her sounds like it would be a good time.
On another note, I look at that Liam dude and I look at her and the two just don’t seem compatible. It is like he is the nice guy that just does not have the heart to break up with her and tell her it is over and he is no longer attracted to her.
Really? Because, to me, he looks like the guy who wants a green card and some money from the probable divorce.
This guy is some kind of evil genius, I tell you. Even though his villainous masterplan will take years to come to fruition, he still perseverates.
You gotta respect that.
I agree with you, El Jefe. I’ll bet she is a fucking tiger in the rack!
for those talking about wanting to have sex with her- i bet you guys crap your pants with joy when you come across a 5 dollar hooker too.
It’s fun to be wasted and scrappin’!
Can you imagine the damage that girl would do with a head butt?
There must be a number trailed by a lot of fucking zeroes on their bank balance for Liam to put up with all this shit. Miley looks like trash and acts like adolescent.
Cyrus’s was fixin’ for a fight after the eatin’ house had the gumption to serve her a cold passel of vittles and the saloon watered down the white lightning. When the Sour Belly Trio wouldn’t play ‘Turkey in the Straw’ like she wanted, it was time to thump a stranger!
Now, now, Miley. There are better ways to get handcuffs for your inevitable sex tape.
I bet the guy who got hit had just asked Liam to keep his boyfriend under control.
Her hair has gone from looking like Pink to the Mayor of London, Borris Johnson:
[IMG]http://i48.tinypic.com/2cwu1hh.jpg[/IMG]
Whoopsie daisy. The copy and paste special faliled me.
http://i48.tinypic.com/2cwu1hh.jpg
Is she serious with those shorts? Some hip hugger panties would have been better.
Oh c’mon. She’s going full lesbian here. First she gets the haircut, then she’d down with the bar fight. Liam has nothing to do with it.
She needs to be spanked. HARD
I don’t care for the Cyrus’s at all but when did Miley become a racist? Oh, I get it, she’s white and from the south. Thinking about people in terms of stereotypes is bad, UNLESS they’re white.
LAPD: So, alleged assault victim, what exactly were you doing?
Assault victim: Well, we…
Assault victim’s buddy: Thank you.
Assault victim: Stood up to leave, when I accidentally hit his chair. I turned around and brushed the top of his buddy’s head. He screamed at me that I messed up his, I quote, “sugar pie’s hunerd-dollar mullet”.
LAPD: Well, if you brushed the top of her head, how could you have disturbed her mullet?
Assault victim: Because it was inverted.
she has the ass of an 8 year old boy
true.and the only guys who think she is hot are those who will bang anything they can slip their 2 incher into. man, woman, child, animal- it don’t matter cuz itsallgood
Trailer park prom queen of the year. My white trash heart sings (all while eating mac n cheese with cut up red hot dogs mixed in and drinking pearl out of a can. Now if that aint country…).
Oh quit dissing her. She’s cute! Dumb but cute.
Wrong.
It’s clear she lost…
I heard that someone accused Miley of not bleaching her butthole and apparently that really got them riled up.
I thought booty shorts were supposed to be flattering if you were in shape? I guess you have to have something resembling a booty. These just look like saggy briefs.
At least she didn’t get drunk, chew all the trees down in her trailer park down and dam a nearby creek.
Another Hollywood train wreck.
which one of these things does not go with the others……
She looks exactly like Agyness Deyn a couple of summers ago
Who in the name of everloving fuck is still going to Billy Ray Cyrus concerts?
His daughter and her boyfriend.
Isn’t she 19? Bar?
Kinda hard to call them booty shorts when she clearly doesn’t have one. Her butt runs straight into her thighs.
The ol’ two finger push…it says, “I’m responsible for you.”