Mila Kunis > Hayden Panettiere
It must’ve been unbelievably awkward last night for Hayden Panettiere to arrive at the Emmys and see my current obsession Mila Kunis looking better in pretty much every way possible. But, to Hayden’s credit, she handled herself with exemplary midget poise and grace. Although my sources/hidden camera tell me she got shitfaced afterward and woke up next to Smurfette. Or maybe that only happened in my head – twice. And again now: Touch her toadstools!