Most pregnant celebrities opt for a C-section because, based on my limited knowledge of the female anatomy, squeezing a baby through your butthole probably hurts like hell and sounds way too much like work. However, Mila Kunis wants everyone to know she’s not one of those celebrities and is doing this shit the natural way right down to never letting Ashton Kutcher see the aftermath. Although apparently she thinks the baby comes out of her vagina because women are adorable when it comes to science. Haha! The vagina. Could you imagine? Marie Claire reports:
On giving birth: “Two people are allowed in my delivery room. My doctor and my significant other. And he is staying above the action. He’ll be head to head. Not head to vag. Unless he wants to risk his life and see. But I wouldn’t if I were him. I highly doubt he wants to see that being ripped apart and shredded. Because it will be shredded. It’s just a matter of how badly.”
I like how Mila Kunis wants to make sure it’s crystal fucking clear what Ashton Kutcher’s done to her body. Like she’s trying to send us a message. Maybe even a cry for help. Or a pulled pork sandwich. *rereads* Nope, it’s the sandwich. You can tell by the way she says shredded twice. She wants cole slaw on it.