Mila Kunis Is Pregnant, The Bastard Actually Did It

March 24th, 2014 // 36 Comments
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Mila Kunis was anything and everything. She was the unassuming hot chick with an almost encyclopedic knowledge of nerd shit. When she wasn’t doing Family Guy, she’d pop up on Robot Chicken. Not only that, but her entire relationship with Macaulay Culkin was easily explained away by the fact she was, oh I dunno, fucking blind. But then she started banging Ashton Kutcher, and slowly became one of those celebrities who constantly bitch about the paparazzi and walk around pissed off all the time. Which is only going to get worse because she’s pregnant now, but not with twins which is apparently supposed to make everything alright and not a trumpet in the sky that this realm is Satan’s and misery shall sit at the throne of our world for 1,000 years. E! News report:

Kunis is pregnant with the couple’s first child, a source confirms exclusively to E! News just weeks after being first to report that the former That ’70s Show co-stars were planning to tie the knot.
The Ted star was even recently spotted attending a prenatal yoga class in Hollywood.

In the meantime, I’m going to assume Mila Kunis’ Jim Beam commercials are now PSAs about the dangers of drinking Jim Beam. “I used to be hot, but then I took an Ashton Kutcher to the knee… gina.”

Photos: FameFlynet


  1. Joanne

    That’s too bad – she totally could have done better done herself.

  2. Urbanspaceman

    One would not expect that Ashton & Mila would be having twins at this stage in their lives. That usually only happens with older first-time Hollywood moms who have destroyed their fertility with drugs and chain-smoking.

    • Urbanspaceman

      Oh yeah, and isn’t the resiliency of the female human reproductive system amazing? They can go from infertile to superfecundation in a heartbeat/

  3. Cock Dr

    For those 4 people all broken up and sad about this turn of events see Exhibit A: Miranda Kerr & Orlando Bloom
    Now I don’t know if Mila’s torso will bounce back from childbirth as nicely as the newly single Ms Kerr’s did but I do know that Ashton Kutcher is not the best candidate for long term monogamy/marriage.

    • Gen

      I don’t see the analogy there. It was Kerr that was cheating all over the place on Bloom, not the other way around.

      But yea, they will break up. I give it 2 years. One year of happiness when they’re just going off the momentum of having a baby, and then another to get sick of each other.

    • Dr. Oz

      Wrecked pelvis is wrecked pelvis. Yes, it can be made more presentable with exercise and/or surgery, but you have to poke ‘em before they have explodey-vag syndrome.

  4. So it’s true, the world is ending. Can’t help feeling Fred Phelps had something to do with this, a last fuck you to us all before he died.

  5. Mila Kunis Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn it! Ruined.

  6. meriko

    i dont get this wwebsite’s fuus about macaulay. did he do anything to your mum? mila is overrated as sin. she is short not even that pretty very ordinary looking. and she’s getting old and getting uglier and uglier. as for mack, he is not even ugly. he looks totaly cool, ok that time in 2012 he was too skinny but there is nothing wrong with that kid’s face. he’s not boring looking . he has very characteristic and unique face. he is gorgerous in my opinion. i’d totaly bang him. he has some awesome lips though, very kissable. he has a new lady for himself too. and i’m happy for him. because that girl -jordan lane price, is her name- is wayyy better looking than this boring mila pumis. she looks totaly sweet too. and we all know that mila is not sweet.

  7. Coco T-Rex

    I’m disappointed. And not because I find Mila attractive (I don’t – not into the emaciated mildly feminine boy look a la Miley Cyrus, and never have been). It’s because the world is populated by enough douchenozzles, and doesn’t need anymore. It’s soon about to get the Godzilla of douchenozzles.

  8. whatthe

    Knowing Star Trek trivia isn’t nerdy, it’s geeky. Big difference.
    Same goes for Family Guy and Robot Chicken. There’s nothing nerdy about either of those. Dorky maybe.

  9. Burkhart, you dumbass.

  10. poop

    I like how she’s a “bitch” when she starts dating Ashton. whatever fish

  11. emma watson's Vagina

    I’m bored right now. so that is why I am responding to this. first up when she was with Culkin he was happening and rich. and from what I have seen some girls/women would dump their BFs/husbands for him in a heartbeat at the time she was with him. The same goes with Kutcher.. not to mention he did have a relationship with Demi Moore. so that means if she got old and ugly he would not leave her right away. she went with him for looks. how many guys do that with girls?

    now she is short. so she would have to work her ass off to get it in shape again. and only one short person managed to do it , and that was Shakira and she is shorter than Kunis. but she dances on a regular basis. this one not so. so we a re looking at another Nicole Eggert here or at best Hillary Duff/Britney Spears.

    as far as hotness is concerned. she was hot. now she is ok. and as far as work is concerned. as long as Family Guy is making new episodes she has nothing to worry about.

  12. Good for him… bad for her.

  13. RUINED! There is no good.

  14. Swearin

    I can’t help but wonder if that Steve Jobs biopic had done better then maybe this wouldn’t have happened.

  15. Mila, as much as I hate to say this…you’re dead to me now.

  16. well…she’s dead to me

  17. Damn you Ashton!

    I love pregnant women I can’t wait to see her with a pregnant belly, and those pregnant boobs :)

  18. Mila Kunis Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    Depressing and upsetting. Why Mila, WHY?

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