January 3rd, 2011 // 72 Comments

After years of me sacrificing first-born children at Madonna’s house praying just praying, Mila Kunis has finally broken up with Macaulay Culkin, according to Page Six:

The split was amicable, and they remain close friends,” her rep said.
A source said the couple split some time ago but has kept it low-key while Kunis promotes the movie [Black Swan].

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to dye my hair blonde and get molested by whoever’s the closest thing to Michael Jackson at the moment. “Come correct,” if you will. *picks up phone* Hello? Bieber? It’s footy pajama time. Ready the juice.

Photos: Bauer Griffin, Getty


  1. Que

    Que buneo por que moy ampak no es bueno but I wish.

  2. castallare

    ::crosses fingers::

  3. fish merkin

    I need to strangle something. My penis is the most logical place to start.

  4. vandal

    Sweet, I’m in. What’s her address?

  5. chav

    What DID she see in that dork? $$

  6. Jure

    How practical that I happen to be single too.

  7. d

    Dude, I hate to break it to you, but getting it on with Justin Bieber makes YOU Michael Jackson. (Which, of course, means that soon he’ll be banging Mila Kunis)

  8. castallare

    ::crosses fingers::

    Please say it’s because she’s into women now… Please say it’s because she’s into women now…

    (No, seriously. Making out with Natalie Portman + 7 years with a Culkin = Bring it AWN, Ladies. )

  9. d

    Dude, I hate to break it to you, but getting it on with Justin Bieber makes YOU Michael Jackson. So don’t be surprised when he starts banging Mila Kunis.

  10. That Guy

    Now Macaulay Cullkin is at Home Alone.

  11. Father Goodman

    ok she is cute but skinny and does a voice in that disgusting cartoon. don’t really see that much of an appeal. whatever.

  12. Mila Kunis
    Commented on this photo:

    Best looking lady in Hollywood

  13. brit

    she’s as lucky as Meg Griffin in matters of the heart.

  14. Greenman

    Why do these assholes need reps to announce their breakups? And why do they need to announce such shit anyway? I hate celebrities.

    • That Bastard Tony

      It makes them more appealing and keeps them on the celebrity radar during downtime.

      She is hot, but if I had my choice of Milla I’d choose Jovovich. I may be wrong, but Kunis seems kind of high maintenance while Jovovich seems more down-to-earth, but that may just be perception. I’d love for Kunis to prove me wrong about that theory and my theory about her being lousy in bed.

  15. GravyLeg

    A well known pre-Oscar maneuver. She is this years “Hillary Swank” jettisoning her “Chad Lowe”.

  16. Mila Kunis
    Commented on this photo:

    Yea, but Dracula Boy has already scraped and scarred the inside of her vagina! Not to mention she probably swallowed a load or two.

    There are sloppy seconds and then there is Mila.

  17. ts

    She’s a 10. Period.

  18. memem

    Great! Now I’ll finally get to f*ck her.

  19. Get A Grip

    You’re kinda funny sometimes, but obviously you’re the type who’d sell his mother for a laugh. Or ratings. Or whatever.

    If you ever decide you’d like to become educated about the accusations against Michael Jackson, this is a good place to start.
    Read the transcripts yourself and when you’re done, consider having the intestinal fortitude to apologize.

    God help any of us if we’re ever falsely accused, declared not guilty by a jury, and still the victim of a tabloid media feeding frenzy.

    You’re smarter than this. Or so I used to think.

  20. Satan's bitch

    You boys kill me, thinkin’ you’ll even remotely have a chance of looking this girl in the face, much less fucking her. Ha!

    Hey Fish, you want to DYE your hair, otherwise, well… it won’t be pretty.

  21. devilsrain

    How did this not happen several years ago.

  22. Monty83

    Eww, Mcaulay Culkin sloppy seconds?
    No thank you.

  23. Grand Dragon

    This title may as well have read “HOPE DIAMOND UP FOR SALE” because none us can afford it, just like none of us have a chance of getting a whiff of that


  24. Mila Kunis
    Commented on this photo:

    sooo cute

  25. Her sloppy seconds are little boy tears and jesus juice.

  26. Rough of virtue

    Well theres a scary trend rearing its head for 2011and I dont like it one bit. As soon as these Hollywood broads exceed their bf’s career wise, what do they do? they dump em. First it was this Blake Lively, Johannson, now its Kunis. Nip it in the bud. I don’t need regular chicks getting any ideas…

  27. fukiyaki

    I’d stick my tongue so far in her that I’d carve my initials in tomorrows turd

  28. lightdragon

    Benjamin Milipede knocked up and got engaged to the wrong chick.

  29. Mila Kunis
    El Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    The fact that she was with Loser Culkin for that long tells me she is not that bright, just a pretty face.

  30. amadeus mosart




  31. Mila Kunis. Single. Wait what the HELL was she doing with Culkin??? How the Fack do these types of idiots get these hot chicks to be with them … oh wait … CHA CHING!!!! Rich prick. Now that she has a successful movie career she dumps his ass and his cash. Smart move. Now … do a porn movie please? Not like I’m delusional into thinking I would ever even meet her let alone sleep with her. Marry me Mila? Please?

  32. I’d give her an amicable split.

  33. mcfeely smackup

    Culkin is one of those cute kid actors who instead of growing up into a good looking adult, now looks like a cute kids skin has been stretched over an adult sized head.

  34. xerozs

    How did that ugly cunt got away with her…He’s like ‘how did that ugly fart get that hot chick?’…

  35. MLVC

    would suck the blood dry from her tampon…the hottest thing to ever escape the womb…yes Mila you may poop in my mouth…

  36. Lux

    I’m not one of those women who likes to play at bisexuality for attention on the internet (“lolz you guyz, she’s sooo hottt, ima girl and I’d do her”), but during certain parts of Black Swan, I felt incredibly and irrationally pissed at Natalie Portman.

  37. Junon

    I have such a huge girl crush on her.

  38. Yosef

    My mom told me Mila and I were meant to be together.

  39. Life Serial

    I know it’s a pathetically tiny point, but it really bugs me when I can tell someone smokes just from looking a their teeth … even if the majority of them are freakishly white.


  40. Matt

    Judging by the state of Macaulay Culkin, Corey Haim, and Corey Feldman, being raped by Michael Jackson apparently does have long lasting consequences.

  41. oldfool

    Everytime her picture gives me wood, I’ll start hearing that “Jackie” voice and the Little General retires.

  42. Jen

    Maybe he left her because he was sick of being with trash thaty gets comments like the dirt her fans throw at her . Classy breeds classy I must say. Saying you’ll eat her shit? Well you eat your own shit all the time its nothing new. And PS HES CUTE. Google Mila Kunis without makeup. Last time I suggested that the guy came back and wrote “whoah dude give us a warning before, she makes the bride of frankenstein look good.” thats right look it up.

  43. Fuckjudger

    And now, her tight little cunt isn’t going to get any use for at least a month.

    …should be a crime.

  44. Aww, my poor boy Macaulay, I can’t help of think of him as the brother in the wheel chair in Saved :(

    Then I remember how fantastic he was in Party Monsters and I think he will be alright. He will be alllll right.

  45. Lana

    Time to make those sex dreams I have about her come true!

  46. cheapsushi

    She does very little for me. Olivia Munn is much more attractive. So are many other women.

  47. the yapper

    Mila is the most beautiful girl in the world. Olivia Munn ok

  48. LilDizzyGurl

    Mila Kunis…I mean she’s alright but sometimes I just hate her as much as I hate her character, Jackie Burkhart from “That 70′s Show.” There’s something about her that just makes me wanna say… “UGHH, YOU BITCH!!!” Then slap her and just start beating the shit out of her. (Lol!!!) Wwell sometimes but jk..haha I’m 13 and anyway mila is probably like in her 30′s…lol :)

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