Mila Kunis Broke Up Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel

March 14th, 2011 // 54 Comments

When news broke last week that Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel called it quits, the list of women responsible were legion because he basically started cheating on her two minutes into the relationship. But now I can safely say it was definitely Mila Kunis‘ fault because her handlers felt the need to immediately tell People it isn’t:

“Mila had nothing to do with their break-up,” the source says. “In fact, no one came between them. They decided their relationship ran its course and it was time to move on.”
“They’re not in a relationship,” the source says. “They star in a movie called Friends with Benefits but they’re just friends. That’s it. They are not together.”

I know the immediate reaction here is, “Ohmygah, what a home wrecker,” but c’mon. Justin Timberlake was banging everyone, so it’s not like he was about to settle down and adopt a platoon of multi-ethnic children with Jessica Biel. On top of that, people need to remember Mila Kunis was blind in one eye for years which allowed Macaulay Culkin to have sex with her. She earned this and it’s not like she just sashayed into Justin’s life and essentially proved Jennifer Aniston keeps a cold marital bed, complete with icicles. And an igloo.

Photos: Getty, Splash News


  1. JohnnyHildo

    I haven’t seen the swan yet…does she sound like Meg in that???

    • That Bastard Tony

      At this point, it is impossible for her NOT to sound like Meg. She definitely doesn’t look like Meg in Black Swan tho.

  2. Elle

    This is really an eye opener for me…just one eye though, the other is fine.

  3. Anna Wintour

    Mila more of the moment.

  4. Derek117

    Mila didn’t break up Justin & Jess…she’s just the excuse for Justin to dump Jess.As you say, he’s been banging everything in sight (no pun) for years–and humiliating Jess.IMO, Jess is better off without him. Wasted years, but now (hopefully) wiser.

    • Charlie Sheen's Machine

      Err Jess was riding on his fame coattails. She could have left him at any time. Many say it was an arranged publicity relationship anyway.

      Jessica Biel is no victim

      • i believe the mutual beard story. but no she didn’t have to ride his tails she was on a hit show for years, and well then there was that Gear photoshoot–

      • :)

        I think Jessica dating Justin hurt her more than it helped her.

        Jess was hot, young and desired. Ever since she got with Justin people talk much less about her, she’s toned down her image and she’s not considered one of top sexy actresses any more. She is, indeed, better off without him and so is her image!

        Jusin seems to ruin the image of all the beautiful ladies he dates. I sure hope she runs far far away.

  5. Deacon Jones

    I’d be laughing at the movie title if my fucking head wasn’t pounding right now

  6. RoboZombie

    Jessica Bile is muy hotter…

  7. Eric

    I want to be Justin Timberlake’s dick.

  8. Cock Dr

    “She earned this”.
    WTF? Justin Timberlake is overrated & homely. That Culkin character was damned funny looking too. We can fall back on the excuse of bad eyesight only so many times before we have to start looking at other, mercenary female starlet coupling motivation$$$.

  9. Katie

    I feel bad for Macauley Culkin in all of this…who is going to love him now? The only other celeb whose face looks like a foot is Sarah Jessica Parker and she’s married.

  10. Mila Kunis Justin Timberlake
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s really pretty but no prettier than Biel IMO.

  11. Randolph Duke

    in other news…i just took a shit.

  12. Jennifer Aniston definitely has a Vagloo.

  13. Bill

    I don’t get the Jennifer Aniston thing at all. I understand she’s an ice queen, but I don’t get the joke here. Is it saying that Mila can get a man and she can’t?

    Man I feel stupid this morning.

  14. Mila Kunis Justin Timberlake
    Commented on this photo:

    if i was her i’d go around breaking up people’s relationships just for the hell of it too. fuck, i’d probably steal charlie sheen’s machete and run around naked hacking of children’s heads in broad daylight. it’s mila kunis.

  15. Mila Kunis Justin Timberlake
    The Observer
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s so beautiful. My GOODNESS!!

  16. I bet banging Jennifer Aniston feels like throwing a shoe into a walk-in freezer.

  17. Gina Girl

    Pants suit, Jerry!

    Tom Fooooooooze!!!

  18. slappy magoo

    What a coincidence, a poster of Mila Kunis helped break up my last relationship, too.

  19. This just in…some attractive people with money may have had sex! More as this develops.

  20. Mooty

    I would break up with Jessica Biel and murder every girl I ever had a crush on if Mila asked me to.

  21. Mila Kunis is hot enough to break up atoms into whatever is smaller than atoms (I think they’re called atomic chunks), so breaking up Justin Timberlake must have been easy as punching a kitten.

  22. Michael Kelso

    Jackie you are a slut

  23. Fame Whore

    Everybody’s gay.

  24. TImberlake was heard shouting “Mila! Mila! Andalay! Pronto!” before a smoke trail appeared going straight to her house.

  25. Armando

    Mila just broke up marriage! Coinci ?

  26. Jay

    If Kunis broke them up then JT is apparently a small breast man. Kunis is as cute as a speckled pup and smoking hot. She seems to have less of the diva personality that Biel occasionally exhibits.

  27. M

    at first I read this as “Mila Kunis Broke Up WITH Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel” hahaahah can you imagine???:))))))

  28. Apostate

    I’d knock over several old ladies for a chance at the Kunis myself.

  29. Diaz, Biel, Kunis – why does Justin keep going for women that could kick his ass and make him wear lacy panties?

  30. Team Kunis all day.

  31. one legged

    i think timberlake is queer
    just like every other guy in a boy band
    that’s why the ladies always want his opinion about fashion and they tell him about the guy they don’t like

  32. Always say cunt

    Evil bitch.

    She deserves to have someone come all over her tits.

    Then fuck her in the arse. Then the cunt. Then the arse. Then the cunt. Then the arse. Then the cunt. Then the arse. Then the cunt. Then the arse. Then the cunt. Then the arse. Then the cunt. Then the arse. Then the cunt. Then the arse. Then the cunt. Then the arse. Then the cunt. Then the arse. Then the cunt. Then the arse. Then the cunt. Then the arse. Then the cunt. Then the arse. Then the cunt. Then the arse. Then the cunt. Then the arse. Then the cunt. Then the arse. Then the cunt.

  33. Burt

    What can you say, the girl’s got a thing for awkward-looking former child stars…

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