Mila Kunis Says It’s Absurd People Think These Photos Suggest She’s Dating Ashton Kutcher

April 26th, 2012 // 39 Comments
I Hate This World
Mila Kunis Ashton Kutcher Dating
Mila Kunis & Ashton Kutcher. No, Really. Read More »

While being interviewed in Vegas yesterday, Mila Kunis denied dating Ashton Kutcher despite these photos of just the two of them on a three-day weekend trip to Carpinteria, Ca. where she waved her awesome ass in yoga pants right in front of him because friends do that. Extra reports:

“It’s absurd!” said Mila. “A friend is a friend.”

Listen, Mila Kunis, I’m going to be straight with you. There’s nothing I want more in this life than to believe Ashton Kutcher’s penis has never once entered your vagina. I would perform unspeakable acts to make that a reality. Unspeakable acts. Unfortunately, here are the facts:

1. I’m looking directly at you and Ashton Kutcher escaping to a quiet little California town for three days together where your ass looks awesome.
2. You admitted to being blind the entire time you were having sex with Macaulay Culkin and I’m sure it’s taken a while for that shock to wear off. Which leads me to…
3. As much as I hate Ashton Kutcher, he’s in remarkable shape and not at all built like Macaulay Culkin who’s appearance you finally saw then promptly dumped because apparently your sense of touch is shithouse and lacked the skills to go, “No, wait, ABORT!”

All that said, most people think of you as the chick who ate Natalie Portman’s vagina probably one of the most awesome, down to earth actresses in Hollywood, so the easy way to clear this up is to admit you spent an entire weekend waving your just, god, so awesome, ass in front of Ashton Kutcher’s face while going, “You’ll never get this, you’ll never get this.” Which, yes, sounds a tad Bieber-ish, and might not be what the Internet wants, but it’s what the Internet needs right now. Be our Dark Knight, Mila. Our awesome, awesome ass Dark Knight.

Photos: Keola Media/Dean/Bryan/NPG.com

superficial

  1. Mila Kunis Ashton Kutcher Weekend Together Butt Yoga Pants Carpinteria
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    Have you been working out Mila? Or being “friends” with Ashton doing your bootie really good? Whatever it is keep it up!

  2. Jonas Grumby

    Saying “it was just sex, not a relationship” isn’t helping your case, Mila.

  3. Crissy

    Oh and yeah, we know what kind of “friends” THEY are!… I saw your documentary bitch!

  4. Wow, she must have gotten butt implants because she had an ironing board in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

  5. Mila Kunis Ashton Kutcher Weekend Together Butt Yoga Pants Carpinteria
    Ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    I want to bake a pie out of that ass!!

  6. Mila Kunis Ashton Kutcher Weekend Together Butt Yoga Pants Carpinteria
    El Jefe
    Commented on this photo:

    Butt implants when done tastefully like this are OK in my book.
    And Fish summed it up perfectly about how most of us feel about this situation.

  7. Dick Hell

    I just hope Ashton is in front when they do it doggy-style.

  8. Archie_Leach

    When did they start making yoga pants with padding?

  9. Alex

    Ridiculous. The media have a lot of growing up to do. She should have a talk with the warden about this. Ridiculous. *shaking head* Ridiculous.

    • CranAppleSnapple

      NORM! I love that movie! They should make Norm MacDonald make more movies. I’ll watch them I swear.

  10. Peter

    i think she just gained weight. In some other recent pic she looked kind of chubby

  11. That was a lob

    Telegram from 2005: Trucker hats are “in”

  12. I’d friend that ass for days at a time too.

  13. Cock Dr

    Of course she isn’t dating Ashton Douchebag. How ridiculous for a girl like that, hot as a pistol, to be DATING a cougar’s chewed up reject boy toy.
    She FUCKING him. It’s like physical therapy. Can’t let the fuck muscles lose their tone. But it’s not dating.

  14. Edod

    Awesome “fuck friend” gifts Ashton! I guess she’s a cheap lay.

  15. m.

    c’mon Ashton was banging her back in the “that 70′s show days”. It’s ridiculous to think that he would go back to something he already hit, unless of course Macaulay Culkin had magic wand that he used to reupholster that.

  16. this kinda denial is your standard Hollywood bullshit for publicity thing. once it gets boring they will break up or call it official.

  17. Mila Kunis Ashton Kutcher Weekend Together Butt Yoga Pants Carpinteria
    Natalie
    Commented on this photo:

    looks like celluiltis…

  18. moo

    “a friend is a friend” (with benefits, right???).

  19. Mila Kunis Ashton Kutcher Weekend Together Butt Yoga Pants Carpinteria
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh my god that ass. Doggy style everyday.

  20. Mila Kunis Ashton Kutcher Weekend Together Butt Yoga Pants Carpinteria
    Commented on this photo:

    I would wreck that ass. I don’t care how difficult her brown is.

  21. dirk diggler

    #1 reason she’s been working on that ass? She lost JT to Shelfie

  22. Burt

    If they aren’t dating, she’s taking playing hard to get to a whole new level. ;)

  23. Nacho

    EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW BARF if i was to date her after i make her dushe herself with chlorine

  24. Jess

    I love how no one can walk outside with the opposite sex anymore. Guess I shouldn’t hang with my dude friends for fear of people starting shit. How do people even know what went on with them other than a handful of pics out in public when they *know* the cameras are watching? Nobody but them knows what happended. And even if they are screwing, who cares? They’re grown ass adults and shouldn’t have to “admit” anything to anybody. It isn’t the media’s business to know who’s fucking who.

    Oh, and that Culkin kid was obviously doing something right to have dated her for eight years and lived with her for most of that time. I love how jealous some people can get just because he doesn’t look to be up to Mila’s standards. Pretty clear looks didn’t mean shit to her. Some people really need to get over that, especially since who Mila decides to be with has no bearing on you what so ever since you don’t, and probably will never, know her.

  25. Mila Kunis Ashton Kutcher Weekend Together Butt Yoga Pants Carpinteria
    Ritt Momney
    Commented on this photo:

    hm..after looking at this picture I suddenly know what I want for dinner. Is that wierd?

  26. Mila Kunis Ashton Kutcher Weekend Together Butt Yoga Pants Carpinteria
    McGee
    Commented on this photo:

    I want to put my tongue so far up here butthole. That would be great!

  27. Mila Kunis Ashton Kutcher Weekend Together Butt Yoga Pants Carpinteria
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s in the Bigfoot pose.

  28. Mila Kunis Ashton Kutcher Weekend Together Butt Yoga Pants Carpinteria
    etr
    Commented on this photo:

    If that is as good as her ass looks in the magic that is yoga pants, y’all would be severely disappointed when she takes them off.

    • BE

      Oh the joy that is hormonal teenage boys with an internet connection.

      Having racked up a lot of gym time – I agree. Mila pulls those yoga pants off and her butt’s going to drop about six saggy inches (implants or not). She reads as “thin” not “in shape”. Two completely different things.

      And, the boy language doesn’t read “intimate” to me – too much space between them…but there goes the teenager thing again too.

  29. Mila Kunis Ashton Kutcher Weekend Together Butt Yoga Pants Carpinteria
    name
    Commented on this photo:

    big feet for such tiny legs!

  30. Mila Kunis Ashton Kutcher Weekend Together Butt Yoga Pants Carpinteria
    GeM
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus Christ, that guy is such a Donkey’s Dick.

  31. Mila Kunis Ashton Kutcher Weekend Together Butt Yoga Pants Carpinteria
    candy
    Commented on this photo:

    she has a perfect butt:)

  32. Mila Kunis Ashton Kutcher Weekend Together Butt Yoga Pants Carpinteria
    Chinny
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus, fattie, put down the cheeseburgers! Amirite?

    Seriously, if calling this bitch fat doesn’t turn every girl under 30 into a bulimic mess, nothing will.

  33. Mila Kunis Ashton Kutcher Weekend Together Butt Yoga Pants Carpinteria
    eLeL724
    Commented on this photo:

    Ya’ll are making such a fuss over her booty so I click the pics to see what all the buzz is about…. Is it just me or does her ass look lumpy? It looks like she did a shitty (no pun intended) cheap stuffing job. It looks like there is a balled-up paper towel or towels/TP almost at the center of both of her (ass) cheeks. It looks weird. Other than that, I’d agree with all of you, but no ass should appear lumpy (especially in tight ass yoga pants that pull your cheeks up/smooth ‘em out.

  34. Mila Kunis Ashton Kutcher Weekend Together Butt Yoga Pants Carpinteria
    eLeL724
    Commented on this photo:

    Ya’ll are making such a fuss over her booty so I click the pics to see what all the buzz is about…. Is it just me or does her ass look lumpy? It looks like she did a shitty (no pun intended) cheap stuffing job. It looks like there is a balled-up paper towel or towels/TP almost at the center of both of her (ass) cheeks. It looks weird. Other than that, I’d agree with all of you, but no ass should appear lumpy (especially in tight ass yoga pants that pull your cheeks up/smooth ‘em out.

  35. Mila Kunis Ashton Kutcher Weekend Together Butt Yoga Pants Carpinteria
    richie
    Commented on this photo:

    nice hammies

  36. Mila Kunis Ashton Kutcher Weekend Together Butt Yoga Pants Carpinteria
    Kariimito
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh my goodness, No Aston no! I’m cricnakg up right now! You are too funny and BAD for posting this. lmao! I got it this time but only because you made me look twice. Sort of like what Aston Kutcher did. Did he look away when she turned around.(smiling) That’s terrible & funny at the same time.

Leave A Comment