Mila Kunis Is Gonna Be A Great Stepmom

Here’s Mila Kunis out buying pumpkins yesterday for Rumer and Scout Willis because when you’re dating a man with kids, it’s always important to make an effort to connect with them. Mostly so they’ll like you better and then eventually inject their real mother with cancer like Julia Roberts made Susan Sarandon’s kids do by having smaller breasts. (That’s literally my entire understanding of that movie.) And if you think that’s a horrible thing to say, try arranging custody visits. You’ll beg for cancer. Cancer with SARS on it.