“What am I doing with my life?” is what I really hope she’s thinking.
Last week, Mila Kunis immediately shot down rumors that she’s seeing Ashton Kutcher and everyone immediately believed the denial because most people like to imagine Mila Kunis cunnilinging Natalie Portman as a pretty cool chick who would never in a million years have sex with a bearded, serial-cheating douche-canoe like Ashton Kutcher. Turns out she would because TMZ has pictures of them on a “weekend getaway” together. In related news, an angel just delivered me a handwritten letter from God himself, so let’s see what it says:
Dear My Creatures,
Hahahaha! Fuck you.
I’m giving you cancer next,