Oh, I’m Sorry, Ashton Kutcher, Is Being Rich And Having Sex With Mila Kunis Boring You?

Remember that kid in elementary school who always had all the newest video games and toys but couldn’t care less while you were lucky if you got one G.I. Joe vehicle for Christmas? I don’t know what that has to do with Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis, but it seemed like something I should say besides, “Hey, radical Muslims living in London, this douche is a drone pilot.” That information’s top secret. I can’t just give it out.

Photos: Splash News