So This Is Goodbye

True story: I’ve been writing and deleting this whole thing for at least eight hours now because since my first post for The Superficial back in August 2007, I have lived every single day – Including this one! – under the assumption that somebody was going to realize they made a terrible mistake and fire me at any second. Never once did I imagine I’d be sitting here after just shy of a decade and making the choice to walk away from the greatest goddamn job I’ll ever have in my life.

But here we are.

I’m going to try and keep this short because there’s really only one important message that needs to be sent here, and that’s thank you. Thank you for somehow showing up to this site in numbers that will never once make sense to me. There’s no way a skinny nerd in Pennsylvania writing dick jokes on the internet should’ve reached this many people or received so many humbling messages about how those dick jokes got you through some hard times from a bad breakup to losing your job to a combat tour in the shit. Which was not even close to a fair deal because I got to hire my best friend and share this glorified soapbox disguised as a gossip blog with him, and all you got were a bunch of memes of Ben Affleck talking in a Boston accent about the stupid cock rock I used to listen to in college. (And, yes, while wearing Jncos. Goddammit.)

I also want to thank Digital Remedy for their generosity in letting Photo Boy and I do our thing these past few months. I’ve always been the lucky sonofabitch driving somebody else’s car, so they could’ve easily left us in the wind when they acquired The Superficial, but they graciously didn’t. I wish their team nothing but success with the site even though I’m squeezing tightly to its hand and thinking about making a run for it.

On that note, I have no idea what’s next for me outside of actively never knowing what the hell a Kardashian is doing ever again, for the love of God. But if you ever wonder where I am, just know I’ll always be in your heart.

Or on Twitter and email. (Send nudes.)

Thank you again in ways these words are spectacularly failing to say because, holy shit, I can’t believe I’m doing this,

Mike Redmond
The Superficial Writer (August 2007 – March 2017)

P.S. Here’s Photo Boy’s goodbye because we have to hold hands when we go into the bathroom. It’s time you found out.

Photo: Steve Seeley (Remember these? God, they were awesome.)

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