Minnesota Man To State Gov’t: ‘Did You Guys Know Gays Are Ejaculating Into Each Others’ Butts?’

March 12th, 2013 // 138 Comments
Mike Frey Minnesota Gay Marriage Testimony
WATCH: Minnesota Man Warns Butt Sex Will Kill Us All
In Other Moron News
Sarah Palin Lisa Ann RNC
Sarah Palin's Writing A Book About Christmas Read More »

Meet Mike Frey. He’s a “concerned Minnesotan father and husband” who apparently just now learned how gay sex works, and what he discovered not only frightened him, but triggered every synapse in his brain that makes sure he has no fucking clue what he’s talking about. You see, Minnesota is getting ready to pass a bill that would legalize gay marriage, and now that Mike knows how they found a way to sex each other, he set out to put a stop to it because if gays can’t get married then they can’t have sex. Simple as that. I should also point out that Mike’s knowledge surprisingly only includes gay men and not lesbians, although that’s not to say he didn’t stumble upon a description of cunnilingus and wrote it off because “How in the world would that feel good to my penis?” Mediaite reports:

Frey asked that the Minnesota House not pass a bill legalizing gay marriage because “people who marry do have sex, and when same-sex people are married, they do have sex — there’s something called sodomy.”
He then explained to the legislators that sodomy involves “ejaculation inside of a colon,” which, unlike ejaculation inside a vagina, does not lead to a pregnancy nor does the sperm have a barrier of entry to the blood flow… often leading to AIDS. And so, he said, gay marriage = the spread of AIDS to “society at large.”
At the end of his testimony, Frey concluded that gay marriage will provide a “health risk to society at large,” and place “financial burden on the people of Minnesota” to support the gays and their spreading [of] diseases.

I should also point out that Mike apparently found out about butt sex right around the same time he watched Outbreak because here’s what he literally thinks will happen if gay are allowed to get married and finally have sex for the first time. God, they’re just waiting for it:

Minnesotans… and eventually Americans… will experience “a rash, almost like a boils and a very raw skin, that broke out on the hands, feet, butt, mouth.”

When asked how he would stop such an epidemic, Mike explained that he originally thought maybe we could just ask these guys not to put sperm in each others’ butts, but then he did some more research, and discovered that would be like “asking a bear not to eat honey” due to homosexual men’s “crazy tight” athletic physiques. “There’s also a lot of shaving of the genital region which I don’t feel comfortable discussing outside of a classified meeting with the Joints Chief of Staff.” Mike added. “But trust me, they’ll want to hear this.”


  1. jason

    wasnt this guy on like the daily show or somewhere like a really long time ago

  2. Ah, for the love of Mike…wait, probably not the best phrase to use…anyway, you don’t suppose he’s right, do ya?

    If he had said this 30 years ago, it might be somewhat understandable, but there has been so much HIV/AIDS-related information released and research done that most of what he said is pure bullshit. In other news, women don’t like oral (or ANAL) sex…film at eleven.

  3. how do these people manage to tie their own shoes? fucking moron.

  4. I’m pretty sure this guy just said that women can’t get AIDS from men because they have some sort of special preventative barrier in their vaginas. I wonder if that barrier is also what’s responsible for keeping women from getting pregnant from rape.

    Then again, this guy’s concept of AIDS needs some work, too: “AIDS, of course, brings on common, uh, diseases, colds and things, and it magnifies them to a point where it’s unhealthy. Not only does it strengthen the disease within the carrier of AIDS — the person that has a destroyed immune system — but it also strengthens the disease that can be spread to the society at large.”


  5. Jade

    Sooo.. AIDS is created by continually sucking dick and buttfucking to the point that the ejaculate breaks down whatever it is it breaks down — over time. Didn’t know that.. is this bible science?

    Sooo.. not allowing gay marriage will stop AIDS.. because gay people ONLY have sex when they’re married, right? But how do we blame gays for AIDS if they aren’t married?

    That guy really confused me. He would have been better off just saying “I’m a bible banger and the bible says no so that’s what I say.” That’d at least make sense. What he said made no sense.

    • sd

      Although he is very confused and homophobic, he was obviously informed of a very true fact and restated it wrong. HIV IS more likely to spread during anal sex than vaginal. It is because there is more likely to be little tears that the virus can get into quickly. This is also the reason why women are more likely to get the disease from an infected partner during intercourse than men are- the vagina is more likely to tear than the penis. At the local HIV clinic they preach condoms and lube! This is no way is a reason for people to not get married…”If we encourage people to have monogamous relationships they will spread disease!” That is stupidity.

  6. jim

    more tits, less gay news.

  7. mike the mosher

    do females period out of their butt?

  8. Guest

    Was this idiot dropped on his head as a baby?????

  9. donkeylicks

    Sometimes I wish that an asteroid of massive proportions would just hurry up and collide with the earth.

  10. Grand Dragon

    I hope women don’t use this as an excuse to keep me from ejaculating into their colon

  11. I am starting to believe that homophobes are all just bitter dudes who are pissy that they’ve never been with a girl who will do anal.

  12. The Right

    Anyone give blood recently? Read that questionnaire closely the next time you do. You suppose there’s a reason you can’t give blood if you’re a man who has had sex with a man?

    • Because that shit was written in the 80s and needs to be updated ASAP, but some motherfuckers love staying 30 years ign’nt. And hi, Mikey. Sorry the wife/inflatable won’t let you stick it in her stinker.

    • Also they want take blood from someone who has had a tattoo or piercing within a year prior to giving blood so what’s your point?

    • Well I can tell you I masturbate to ALL kinds of porn and still the fucking blood bank keeps BESEECHING me to donate….. uuuuhhhhmmmmm….. is there a connection????…..

  13. Colin

    So by his logic, since gay marriage will lead to more AIDS, annd banning gay marriage will stop it, doesn’t that mean that (since gay marriage was illegal when AIDS started) that AIDS must have been caused by straight marriage?

  14. Schweddy Snatch

    I want to know who told Mikey about butt sex when he’s clearly not a member of the Butt Sex Illuminati.

  15. Juch

    From the headline I thought this was Photo Boy’s report on his vacation cruise.

  16. the mayans are just laughing their asses off at us.

  17. I'm Designer

    This is the type of person who wouldn’t dare open a book and actually learn some facts.

    People like this guy should just go and voluntarily get sterilized.

  18. What about the gerbils????


  19. sean

    Homosexuality as a perversion of the natural sexual order; it is a disorder, and any right-thinking person or society would disapprove of it as well as shun it. Same-sex attraction is a sexual abnormality. No right-thinking society would ever codify the self-contradiction called “same-sex marriage” into law. You might as well legislate that circles are to be treated the same as squares in all building codes. America is becoming so corrupt that it believes its corruption is progress and virtue. All of you who approve of same-sex pseudo marriage and homosexual relationships and believe you are enlightened because of your opinion; you’re fools, and society will eventually pay the price for attempting to disregard how sexuality has been designed to function within the order of nature.

    • Well given the “heterosexual” marriage divorce rate I personally believe that YOUR “fags” and YOUR “dykes” should also be allowed to wed so they can (eventually) contribute to that important economic group: the divorce attorney……..uuuhhhhhmmmm….. not that I have an economic interest in it…..

      • Zombie Franklin Roosevelt

        I ran all sean’s comments through the enigma machine and it turns out they are all code for “there’s a Turkish freighter docked downtown and my asshole is bleeding like a bitch.”

    • May I be the first to break it to you that there are homos in every fucking species on this natural world. And may I be the first to tell you to eat a hot bowl of ejaculating dicks. No really — creamy dicks do a body good, Sean. YUM YUM :)

      • And P.S. to your creepily Mormon-script-sounding bullshit: Homosexuality plays a key part in EVOLUTION (oooo another scary word!), specifically as population control within a species that’s breeding faster than its food sources, as well as various other services that the ‘mos have the time and energy for that otherwise breeding/nursing/whatever members of a species can’t carry out. I’m no biologist, but have picked up a book or two NOT written by a closeted self-loathing fuckwads who tap-dance in airport restroom stalls as a hobby. Peace out pendejo.

      • Jade

        True story: as a child, I had two male rabbits. They would *always* try to have sex with each other when put together.

      • sean

        Carla, you are ignorant and you project your ignorance onto others whom you loath because you secretly know the truth about the disorderedness of homosexuality but are attempting to shield your conscience from the truth. First, the fact that homosexual behavior occurs in many species does not normalize it; it merely attests to the fact that the disorder afflicts more than one species. Blindness occurs by birth in many species; are we to infer by your flawed reasoning that blindness is also normal and also a good and desirable condition of organisms? Certainly not. Second, the various attempts to explain homosexuality as selected for by evolution are merely suggestions; nothing conclusive has been demonstrated by any standard of evidence. You make the mistake of taking suggestion for fact, a common error in smug people who have lazy minds and want nevertheless to convince themselves of their own correctness. No amount of evidence or reasoning will ever get past the obvious reality that male and female are ordered toward each other both anatomically and reproductively, not toward their likeness. Therefore, sexual activity between like sexes is an aberration and a disorder; the only proper, natural, ordered sexual activity is between opposite sexes. Nature has ordered it that way.

      • “First, the fact that homosexual behavior occurs in many species does not normalize it; it merely attests to the fact that the disorder afflicts more than one species.”: that speciation involves untold numbers of “years” somehow INFERS that there is “sex”…………excuse me……. while I leave here and do the ultimate *sin* and mastubate to the incredible amounts of online porn……LIKE TO THE 6000 YEARS OF CREATIONISM…..

      • SO.WHAT.YOU’RE.SAYING.IS.THAT: the evil faggot is doomed to evilhelldmnation by the fact of…they are inconsistent of the “moral laws”?????

        Well Jethro “sean” does yous knows that those awfuls niggers and chinks were an affront to those goods folks of good anti-catholicics pures murcans!

        Nows I knows “seans” that yous be not the most :”educamateds” ones buts stillllllll……..

      • Dr. JFever

        “disorderedness ” Whoa there big fella I think you need to repeat 3rd grade again. I didn’t know that Wal-Mart had Wi-Fi.

      • You shouldn’t judgmentalize your fellowary humans’ lackitude of commandature over the English idiomization. It is an unpolitish sign of proudness and a capitalistic sin.

      • blah blah

        Wait – so, we’re supposed to condemn the blind, too? We better not ‘promote’ anything that’ll help those no-sighted abominations. Let’s start banning seeing-eye dogs. That’s what I got from this – homosexuality is like being blind. And, according to sean, we shouldn’t accept homosexuals. Therefore, we shouldn’t accept blind people, right? Thanks for the info!

      • guest

        HAHA! I just replied the same conclusion!

      • guest

        Sean, you are an idiot. Thank you for helping the good fight by mentioning people born blind (or anything else you feel is not ‘normal’). You equate species being born blind WITH those born homosexual. Like NOT CHOOSING to be blind, people DO NOT CHOOSE to be gay!!! Does society shun blind people, exclude them, allow them not to marry? No, there are groups and institutions to HELP them, make them feel INCLUSIVE…do the same for homosexuals!

      • Sean, what do you have against paragraph breaks? It makes your screed much more readable. I can’t help the logic part though. You’re just fucked there.

      • Paragraph breaks lead to gay butt sex, and are an abomination in the sight of the Lord. And Sean.

    • PtC

      I have a feeling sean gets A LOT of cock.

    • JennyJenJen

      I didn’t know Westboro Church members were allowed to use the computer. God Hates The Superficial.

    • Aaaaaand you’re preaching about this on a gossip/comedy titty site because…?

      • Because he needs to save our heathen souls. This is the perfect place to convert people. A little salvation right behind the posts about Kim Kardashian’s ass and Gerad Butler’s one night stand with what’s-her-name.

      • Brandi Glanville

        Just to let you know, I let Gerard do anal

    • hey Sean, what the fuck are you doing even LOOKING at this site? you’re not ‘challenging’, you’re not ‘well spoken’, clearly, you ARE a hateful idiot. FUCK OFF. So disappointed I wasted 1 minute even replying. My bad.

    • You can make a great argument that same sex pairing is a dead end in a reproductive sense, but to say it isn’t natural ignores the fact that we are a sexually dimorphic species and things like gender are far less fluidic than the black and white that might appear outright. Homosexuality is a byproduct of that and naturally occurs throughout the animal world as well.

      That said, both Sean and Mr. Dipshit up there from my state think that banning gay marriage will cure them from their latent urges and make everything right between them and their non-existent god.

    • I love that every negative response to sean has exactly 1 thumbs down and his have exactly 1 thumbs up. Is Jesus on this site? What up homie!

  20. Aw MAN doth he protest too much!

  21. Richard Roe


  22. Luke

    As an Extremely proud Minnesotan I have to say that I am embarrassed so thoroughly by this man and Michele Bachmann that I have actually contemplated leaving the country. Minnesota (I live in Minneapolis, the Liberal Center of the Midwest) is one of the most forward thinking states in the United States and yet people like this that live within our borders keep getting press. I am so sorry for people like this that live near me. This is a great state and we really love everyone and are “MN Nice”. we also have a lot of free thinkers but due to the LARGE rural area here there are also a lot of white trash bigots. Sorry world. U.S. education system failing again.

    • Oh, stop it you tree-hugging pinko buttmonger; we love you too.
      (Please don’t hate me… it was either that or some lame bullshit about Being Your Father)

    • Yeah, but the Vikings still suck.

    • I lived in the Twin Cities for 5 years and I have to say I miss it A LOT. Everyone was MN Nice and the pay scale and standard of living is way better than SC, my home state, where I am unfortunately stuck. Diverse and lots of celebration of different cultures especially in the summer time. =( now I want to cry

  23. mrw

    i can’t believe no one mentioned the guy in the clerical collar and blue workaday shirt to the right. what a champ; plays it straight-faced all the way.

  24. Inner Retard

    Sometimes I think state officials invite a couple of morons to public hearings just to alleviate their boredom. It’s like stand-up comedy to them.

  25. Gordon

    I can’t find the link now, but I swear I read somewhere that even if two guys aren’t married they can spread AIDS to each other. If someone can find the link and send it to me, I will reward them with a kiss .. Up the butt .. With my dick.

  26. Cock Dr

    I’m sure the new pope will take a firm stand on homosexuality and the practice of anal sex just as soon as he’s selected.
    That should clear up Mr Frey’s misconceptions and put us all closer to god.
    FYI the world is crammed full of people like Mr Frey. Our congress is crammed full of people like Mr Frey. Boy are they mad that the gays are getting uppity.

  27. Mandy

    I’m pretty sure – marriage or not – gay people are going to have sex.

  28. booya

    where is this motherfucker for the drug prohibition rallies? What is the #1 cause for the spread of AIDS? *ding ding ding* IV drug use. So if you clean that shit up you won’t have your TRUE financial hit on Minnesota. Considering he’s a hyper religious person he probably feels drugs are “bad” and Jesus doesn’t want those either. Sorry Mark, can’t have it both ways.

  29. Nippy

    Shit, not only do I have a fucking head cold and I’m coughing up a lung every 10 minutes, now my straight-assed self has to worry about having AIDS? Thanks Mr. Frey, you made my fucking day. I suppose I should call my husband to let him know I’ll be late getting home tonight. I have to “swing” by my doctor’s office to get me an HIV test. Dammit!!

  30. Love all the people in this thread that have absolutely no fucking clue how HIV is transmitted but sure as shit have a social opinion. That goes for both sides.


    What does this have to do with celebrity gossip?

  32. mike

    Reminds me of the YouTube Video of the African Pastor explains Gays are Eating Poo-Poo. I thought no one on American Soil would come comparably close to the Africa Pastor but then again I didn’t account for poorly home-schooled individuals.

  33. Cher X

    Cut. Print. Gay.

  34. Gary Grant

    Sounds like he has been hanging out with Marcus Bachmann.

    • Rapsutin's Evil Twin

      “Marcus Bachmann” sounds like the Latin for “closeted gay man who hates gays and loves butt sex”. Either that, or it’s German for “Butt Sex!!!”

  35. ganymede

    Gays have higher STI rates, lower life expectancy, higher addiction rates etc. Check the CDC website. In other words, homosexuality is an economic burden on normal people.

    I’m an atheist, but I still think should be cause for concern.

    • Mike Frey's Curious Insecurity

      Well, it’s a good thing only about 10% of the population are gay, or else it would really be something to worry about!

    • Funny, the last time I looked, the CDC was NOT the “Family Research Insititute”, which is where those bullshit statistics came from, but thanks for playing. Paul Cameron, who’s responsible for that tripe, collected obits from “gay publications” and came to the conclusion that most gay men die at 43, as opposed to the average American male lifespan of 73. Any actuarial will tell you that sloppy “research” like that will not give you correct data about any group’s lifespan.

      As for the “higher addiction rates”, Richard J. Wolitski, the CDC’s expert on minority status and public health issues, put it like this: “Economic disadvantage, stigma, and discrimination … increase stress and diminish the ability of individuals [in minority groups] to cope with stress, which in turn contribute to poor physical and mental health.” If you let members of a minority group get married just like anyone else, you remove a source of stigma and distress.

      So, in the long run, everyone gets healthier. Well, except for Mike Frey, whose pea-brain ain’t gonna get any better – or smarter.

      • It is fair to say that bareback buttfuckin’ is the best way to transmit HIV or other bloodborne viral infections outside of blood transfusions and dirty needles. That’s a true story.

      • Actually, since there are just as many CD4 receptor “target” cells in the membranes of the vagina as there are in the rectum, AIDS can be transmitted through vaginal sex just as easily as it can through anal sex. Friction and a membrane lining, even with lubrication, always equals microscopic tears, so the “best” way to transmit HIV is to have unprotected sex of any kind with someone who has AIDS. Don’t try to qualify it by just calling out buttsex.

      • I think you missed the part about the protective wall in the vagina. PRO-TEC-TIVE.


      • come on justie, you are fooling yourself in the name of some sort of political correctness.

        study after study after study after study has shown that bareback buttfuckin is associated with an increased transmittance rate.

        It has shit to do with the numbers of CD4 receptor cells and those fancy terms fail to dazzle me, doctor. Your baby soft hand is chock full of CD4 receptor cells but unlubed old fashioneds don’t transmit HIV.

      • I’m just saying if you really want to bang that HIV positive dude with no protection, you’re better off taking it in the front than the back.

      • Sorry, but those “studies after studies” don’t all prove the same thing, as they vary wildly in how they were conducted. Many only dealt with gay or bisexual men, and never included heterosexuals, or if they did, never addressed whether condoms were used with anal sex v. their use in vaginal sex. Take just one college-level statistical analysis course and get back to me when your eyes stop googling – “studies” can be manipulated like you wouldn’t believe.

        In 2010 the International Journal of Epidemiology ended up using mathematical modelling to estimate that HIV transmission during anal sex may be 18 times greater than during vaginal intercourse. That’s because only 16 studies – conducted in Europe and North America – were judged to be relevant enough to include in that review. And although they looked at studies published up to 2008, almost all those reports used data that were collected in the 1980s/early 1990s, which means that the findings don’t reflect current transmission data. That’s a pitifully small amount of acceptable – and outdated – studies, as well as being in a very limited geographic area.

      • Current transmission data like 60% of new HIV cases in the US are in MSM? I dunno, something might be going on. Of course that could be an anti-gay agenda perpetrated by epidemiologists and their fabricated data. but I doubt it.

        your argument sounds like the typical republican arguments against GW or evolution. Manipulated studies, blah blah blah. Sure I can lie to you all day with stats if I wanted and I really only have to convince a handful of people that my shit’s good to pass peer review. But I’m doubting this is some sort of anti-gay conspiracy nor is it the findings obtained from one study.

        Also, while you seem to be very adept at pointing out imperfections in studies, you fail to provide any evidence to contrary other than “CD4 T cells are present in vag tissue too, you guys.”

        The shit don’t cut it, man. Just cuz bareback buttfuckin leads to higher transmission rates than barebackin it in the vag, doesn’t mean it’s gay cancer. It’s just physiology and virology, dude. No reason to get all offended by it.

      • Whoa, whoa ,whoa – first, who’s “offended”? Second, who the fuck are you calling a republican?

        I’m not claiming these particular studies are manipulated per se, but they’re sure as shit not equal, and therefore it’s almost impossible to use the stats from one to arrive at a universal conclusion when applied to another. The fact that the only ones anyone’s looking at are sixteen studiestaken in North America and Europea should raise a few flags, not to say eyebrows – what, don’t they fuck in Australia? Having to use a mathematical model to arrive at a figure of 18 times higher risk seems reckless to me: in the long run it leads to the idea that as long as your man doesn’t want to ass-fuck you, you’re really fine without the glove, since you can only get HIV from anal sex. That’s decidedly NOT the case, but that’s what trying to parse just how much riskier one type of sexual activity is than another (and using flawed data to do it) can lead to.

      • dude after you stack up enough data that points in some direction, you sorta just have to roll with it until proven otherwise. unless you’re australian, cuz australians might fuck differently than americans and europeans.

        Find me a shred of evidence that shows no difference in transmission rate between vag sex and butt sex. You can’t. Cuz nobody has any evidence of that.

        What about bumpin pussies, scissor sister? Is there an equal transmission rate there too? What about female to male transmission, the same as male to female? Fuckin no. Of course not.

      • @Justi
        Friction and microscopic tears. Shudder. I knew there was a reason to quit. :D

  36. krazey

    I didnt know sodomy was only after ejaculation occurs, time to bring out my plunger

    ignorant assholes…its always a redneck looking idiot from Wisconsin or something

    PS. I can say redneck because I have redneck friends :-)

    • Mike Frey's Curious Insecurity

      I can say “rednecks” because they are the sole cause of the popularity of Larry the Cable Guy and Jeff Foxworthy, two of the signs of the intellectual apocalypse this country is currently suffering.

  37. Mike Frey's Curious Insecurity

    I was always under the impression that people stop having sex after they get married.

  38. Mitch

    Everyone knows that AIDS was a manufactured story and never really existed. It was Reagan trying to get men from enjoying each other and nothing more. The GOP is history because of shit like this and I couldn’t be happier.


  39. Juano

    Most of the guys who make stupid comments like this are really closet cases. They are worried sick that they are secretly attracted to their buddies down at the VFW and will one day wake up and burst into flames and start singing show tunes.

    So, Mr. Frey, don’t worry. You’re probably not gay, just a moron.

  40. tuliplady

    Love the guy in the background talking a nap…

  41. tuliplady


  42. Disco Dave

    You’d like to think that this wouldn’t be a big deal but both sides of the argument LOVE the attention way too much to let it die in a society driven by the Look at Me, I’m Important!

    Live and let live is way too boring and it doesn’t allow us as a society to really show off our most awful, pathetic features to each other.

  43. $500 bet says this guy is caught knelling at the Flying J truckstop glory hole inside of 3 months.

    any takers? anyone?

  44. As much as we bag on our elected officials (and deservedly so) this is the kind of crap that takes up a large portion of their day. Sitting in endless committee meetings listening to marginally informed, yet likely highly indignant, people. I can only imagine the amount of dope I would have to smoke every day to be able to sit through that crap.

  45. wow, news of the century! When you open up a public hearing – to the public – the doors are swung wide open to every crackpot who thinks their idiotic opinions are worth sharing. And of course, this one guy is the official spokesperson, and a perfectly fair representation of every single solitary person on earth who opposes legalization of gay marriage. well done, fish – you might as well start working on your acceptance speech for the inevitable Pulitzer prize.

  46. Danielle

    Anyone can catch HIV by having unprotected sex with someone who has HIV/AIDS. If the vagina had protective barriers then there wouldn’t be many women infected with the virus (unless they frequently participate in anal sex). Gay men have higher rates of HIV infection because there are many that use protection less (no fear of pregnancy maybe?). There’s a very simple way to prevent HIV infection among all groups: don’t use dirty needles, use a condom, if you aren’t going to use a condom make sure both of you have been tested, don’t share sex toys. That goes for all orientations.

  47. anon

    So this means I shouldn’t be having butt-sex with my boyfriend as a female?

    Also, I’m surprised this guy isn’t speaking on behalf of those victims of sexual abuse in the church. You know, the 50-70 year old priests who have butt-sex with young kids. That must be okay in the religious world but consenting adults should definitely be barred from doing it.

  48. your mom

    Someone just stumbled on a sex ed video from the 80′s….

  49. cc


  50. dudes that rail against the gays in any way, shape or form – covet the cock. BELEIVE that shit.

Leave A Comment