Mickey Rourke questions your manhood – while holding a puppy

January 14th, 2009 // 54 Comments

Mickey Rourke and his Chihuahua, Jaws, star in this latest PETA ad urging you to remove your pet’s testicles or ovaries. Check out the text which I guarantee is a direct Mickey Rourke quote based solely on its blunt effectiveness that also suggests the speaker’s retarded:

When dogs get knocked up,
Puppies get put down
Because there aren’t enough homes for them.

I actually hope this campaign works because “If you can’t cultivate activism with testicle euphemisms, we’re pretty much fucked as a society and should probably kill ourselves.” - Plato.

Photo: PETA

  1. uhhhhh first again?

  2. alyssa

    i love mickey rourke

  3. alyssa

    i love mickey rourke

  4. alyssa

    i love mickey rourke

  5. and Rourke, wtf you doin?

  6. mamamiasweepeaches

    Wow…his chihuahua is even fatter than mine!

  7. mamamiasweepeaches

    Wow…his chihuahua is even fatter than mine!

  8. Dr McNasty

    Animal birth control… it’s easy as ABC, 1 2 3, I’m Mickey Rourke and I won a Golden Globe, bitch!

  9. Bob Barker

    Good job, Mickey. As the writer suggests, “blunt effectiveness”. This is exactly the type of advertising necessary to reach the real retards that don’t get their pets spayed or neutered!

    Get those things cut & tied, bitches!

  10. 123

    This would’ve been fine if PETA hadn’t been attached to it.

    Let’s just Photoshop their logo right out of there…..

  11. havoc

    Instead of neuturing and spaying your pets, wouldn’t it be easier to just shoot and eat them?


  12. meat beater

    fuck peta!

  13. Wow…Peta is getting hard up for “celebrity” spokes people. First Chloe Kardashian and now Mickey Rourke?

  14. Alyssa


    MAybe if they didn’t spent their money on lawyers to defend their hooligans, photoshoots for useless adds, objectifying women and calling people fat and stupid, they’d have money left over for shelters instead of euthanizing over 90 of the animals they ‘rescue’.

    Go look up the stats.

  15. 9.5weeks

    While this is silly, it’s so true. I have so many guy friends that project their junk obsession on their dogs and refuse to get them fixed. Like having an infertile dog somehow emasculates them!

    So yeah, good job Rourke!

  16. cavy

    That is an awesome campaign. If a pet owner can’t take care of their pet’s wellbeing then they DON’T deserve to have pets. I’ve seen so many idiot pet owners that let their dogs roam without leashes and refuse to get their pets fixed, it’s disgusting. Not only should these scumbags be prohibited from pet ownership, they should be fixed so that they cannot procreate more idiots.

    Yay for Mickey…so happy for his comeback!

  17. cavy

    #14 – FUCK YOU Alyssa – you should get your facts straight 1st. If you think that the torture of animals is a myth, then you must be on crack. Go stick your head back in the sand…looks like you live your life that way. Even if what you are accusing Peta of is half true, they still bring awareness to dumbasses like yourself who don’t give a crap about animals.

  18. p0nk

    apply the same logic to celebs.

  19. coffeebean

    I think it’s humain to shoot the unwanted puppies and kittens as long as you do it before their eyes are open and they don’t see it coming.

  20. Bitch,I don't care.

    I care about animals.
    I don’t care about peta.

    They sent me a dvd once. It showed animals being slaughtered and tortured. I watched it, felt bad, ate some medium rare steak. Then decided torture tasted way too good.

    The dvd also contained members from PETA putting cats to sleep, skinning them, and hanging them from a ceiling. I am sure they care about animals, right?

  21. Is Mickey Rourke going to have the balls to have his own nuts snipped? We sure as hell don’t need any of his off spring wondering the earth..

  22. me

    Anyone posting after me sucks on Mickey Rourke’s hotdog and swallows his condiments

  23. ketchupormustard?

    you know that they make hotdogs out of those poor euthanized little dogs and cats that they can’t find homes for…

  24. Bob

    #23 I saw that on the three Stooges

  25. Ummm...yeah...

    Ok, #14 is stupid,and why do you care?

  26. authorego

    I hate to have to be the Grammar Police but the correct phrasing is: ” have the juevos …” although in polite society they are referred to as “the family jewels”. “Cojones” is just so drug culture. “Nads” is really childish. “Nut sack” is crude. “Bollocks” is not offensive but hardly anyone outside of England knows what that means. “Mountain Oysters” would just be Gay. I wish he just would have used a nice friendly American word like “balls”.

  27. Joe

    Rourke is the shit. Glad for his comeback!

  28. Heather

    don’t do this to Mickey. he’s the man. back off.

  29. Marv

    “When dogs get knocked up,
    Puppies get put down
    Because there aren’t enough homes for them.”

    It’s almost a haiku, really.

  30. Real Grammar Police, accept no substitutes

    #26 Sorry, the correct spelling of the term you suggest is “huevos” (eggs) not “juevos”. And “”cojones” is an I- dare-you-to-have-them/grow-a-set usage, which “huevos” is NOT – so it’s perfectly used here re the type of guy who won’t neuter because his masculinity is tied to whether his dog gets action or not. It’s not just a Latino thing, even tho that may be what they’re aiming for – I once had a roommate whose lawyer boyfriend refused to get his cocker spaniel neutered just for that reason. Dick idiocy knows no class or cultural boundaries.

  31. kate

    Ladies all like to join ***seekingsugarmomma. c om***. I really do not know why? Just cuz many celebrities there? or the men there are all handsome?

  32. who is wiser:
    THE PUPPY or this ASSHOLE?
    (make your choice, please)

  33. Is it wrong for a man to have extramarital relationship?? these days, some news reported

    that some celebrities joined the famous online dating club
    __________interracialromancing.c o m____________
    and they are seeking someone else there though they have husband or wife else….They

    said,they do not care which races guys or beauties come from …

  34. stuart_nz

    it’s a great concept why don’t they try it in africa and stop all of them having baby’s with no homes?? if they did that then they would get my dollar a day

  35. here i thought Mickey Rourke would never show up in public again, and there he was, winning left and right at the Golden Globes

  36. sky

    this made me laugh after an awful day. i love you, superficial writer.

  37. bort

    it took me an hour to work out what cojones where…

  38. bort

    but we dont have any mexican restaurants where im from so ive never had them

  39. authorego

    @30, thank you for keeping me from being cocky. I am only in Grammar Police 101 but sometimes I act like I already graduated.

  40. mike from wa

    I love my dog, he is well kept, is slim and muscular, and he excercises (although could use more I admit), but he stays on my property and doesn’t socialise with any other dogs – he is too aggressive to other dogs when taken out on a leash

    why should I cut his fucking balls off if his life is good and he’s not going to make any unwanted puppies? it seems to strange an organisation for the protection of animals demands this??

    I understand the need for it in other cases, but theres no need for it in some situations like mine.

    I know from observation, and my own feelings towards my little buddies…my dog fucking loves his balls more than steak, why on earth would I do that to him for no reason???

  41. mickeysdoghasnoballs

    He looks exactly like Jocelyn Wildenstein! I was going to write… had she been a guy, but naw. He looks exactly like her, period.

  42. Mike

    My dog refuses to get in the car and keeps woofing something that sounds like ‘plan B’

  43. pugsley

    #40 “My own feelimgs toward my little buddies” – HAHAHAHA! that’s it, right there in a nutsack! This has nothing to do with your “own little buddies”, they will not shrivel up and drop off if your dog is fixed, but from reading your post I think it’s a safe bet your brain is well on its way to atrophying.

    .I suppose it never occured to you that one of the reasons your dog is too agressive to mix with other dogs, even on a leash, is that you haven’t had him fixed? Let’s hope that he never breaks parole and gets off his leash or off your property, because God knows nothing like that EVER happens, right? And if you’re not going to breed him, he’s not actually using his balls, so what, again, is the point of not having him fixed?

  44. Mickey Rourke is BAD ASS!

  45. authorego

    @40 You love your dogs’ balls. No, wait, is that cojones? *refers back to post #30* Nope, I was right, you love your dogs’ balls.

  46. authorego

    That poster would have more impact if, instead of Mickey Rourke with a fat chihuahua, it were Cisco Adler and a moth-eaten alley cat.

    Yes, I know I have a fixation about Cisco’s elongated nutsack, but it burned my retinas. Much like the time Fish posted Verne Troyer’s sex tape (although he missed the bear outfit) or the time he posted Brian Peppers photo.

  47. justifiable

    #45 That’s because his dog is slim, well-kept and muscular – he sounds like quite a catch. I don’t think that dog has licked his own balls in years, if you know what I mean. (I’m sure they’re very happy together, too.)

  48. justifiable

    #46 authorego, Cisco’s nutsack is so stretched out that technically it belongs to someone else, which is why he’s such a pussy – you can’t phone in that shit long-distance like that. Mickey Rourke’s fatass chihuahua is tougher than he is, even without little doggie cojones.

  49. cavy

    #40. mike from wa – I totally agree with poster # 43….
    Mike, you do not deserve to own a dog or any other pet for that matter because you are a moron. For everything you’ve said about your dog, in defense of not doing the right thing and getting him fixed, you actually proved everyone’s points about why it is important to get your dog fixed. You are a horrible pet owner.

  50. This would be a fantastic ad if it weren’t PeTA that were promoting it. Altering of pets is necessary – not just for the prevention of unwanted litters, but because of the health benefits – reduced chances of prostate and mammary cancers, for one.

    Too bad PeTA killed over 17,000 animals last year and adopted out TWELVE from their “shelter”. PeTA is ON RECORD as saying that they oppose ALL companion animals, and that it is CRUEL for you to own a pet, because they are wild animals and should not be kept for your enjoyment. PeTA also spends MILLIONS of dollars on Breed Specific Legislation in favor of breed bans – but that didn’t stop them from using the Michael Vick fiasco to solicit donations for “poor, abused fighting dogs”.

    So is this what they do with that 31 mill they raked in last year? Good fucking game, PeTa.

Leave A Comment