Mickey Rourke: A real American hero

March 21st, 2008 // 26 Comments

Mickey Rourke’s DUI arrest while driving his Vespa was reduced to a lesser charge of reckless driving. His lawyer effectively proved the breathalyzer was faulty. Mickey took the opportunity to voice his opinions to the Palm Beach Post about the cop that arrested him:

“I’m friends with most cops in the city and they told me the guy who got me isn’t even liked by his colleagues,” Rourke tells Page Two. “He’s a 400-pound fuck unfit for duty.”

Mickey had a passenger with him on the Vespa, but there’s no way anyone was getting a hold of her to testify. He doesn’t even know who the hell she was:

Rourke said the mysterious blond riding on the back of the Vespa at the time of his arrest couldn’t have been used as a witness at a trial.
“Don’t ask me her name,” Rourke says. “I have no idea who she was. I met her in a bar and never saw her again.”

Hell yeah, Mickey Rourke. Getting arrested for DUI on a Vespa with some chick you picked up at a bar is American as apple pie – made with whiskey. And to prove how unequivocally badass you are, Mickey, these latest photos show you walking around looking like Kathleen Turner. Righteous!

Photos: Splash News
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  1. badass

    What a burnout haha!

  2. Tapeworm

    Hasn’t.Aged.Well.

  3. nipolian

    Hey Chaaaulieee…….You’ve become a total fucking whiskey-head.

  4. The Easter Bunny

    He used to be hot…..now he looks like some ugly old fuck at a Jimmy Buffet concert. He ain’t gettin no fuckin eggs no how this year.

  5. Auntie Kryst

    “He’s a 400-pound fuck unfit for duty.” Right on Mickey! Ok, now I want to get shitfaced with Tara Reid and Mickey Rourke.

    To qoute Barfly: “Anybody can be a non-drunk. It takes a special talent to be a drunk. It takes endurance. Endurance is more important than truth.”

  6. lipper

    That’s one hot ponytail! *makes horse sounds*

    He really is a twat face. Ugh

  7. UglyPeopleSafaris

    she looks like a dude

  8. Holy shit, what’s up with the Britney weave, Mickey?

  9. cate

    God he’s ugly.
    I think the hair is for his new movie he’s doing with Evan Rachel Wood. He plays a wrestler. It looks awful, but it’s being directed by Darren Aronofsky, so I won’t pass judgement because I like Darren.

  10. Ray Doggy Dogg

    Is it tragic or awesome that he’s actually beginning to look like Bukowski?

  11. titlesswonder

    What a fucking insult to Kathleen Turner. Freakazoid warning to avoid cosemtic surgery unless become a third degree burns victim.

  12. Tim

    Who’s Mickey Rourke?!? I looked up his bio, and still have no clue who he is! He and Amy Winehouse would make some fugly babies though…

  13. Mal Gusto

    Ray, it is tragic. You know the only reason he was on a Vespa is that you don’t need a license. As in, his license is already suspended cause of DUI. Besides he is in Florida, the state of the terminally fucking moronic posers.

    And I don’t want to hear one word defending FL. It is a shithole, full of retards.

  14. cob

    He used to be hot….. It is said he is dating friends on a millionaire dating site called meetingwealthy.C O M. His photos and profile are found there. What arehe looking for there???

  15. gio

    For the kiddies who don’t know who he is, Mickey Rourke was once considered MR. HOTNESS. He did a movie called 9 1/2 weeks where he blindfolds Kim Basinger who’s wearing only a flimsy slip, and feeds her all kinds of items from the refrigerator like a strawberry dipped in honey and rubs her with egg ice chocolate syrup — You get the picture – OO LA LA people thought that was so erotic WOOHOO Kim was very pretty then.

    Mickey Rourke looked OK but had the ego of Mt. Olympus. He decided movies were boring and decided to take up boxing with zero prior training. Almost immediately had his face seriously mashed. He got lots of plastic surgery because he realized he had blown it by quitting acting. He could make millions in 8 weeks working a few hours a day, and would not have to break his ass training to have his nose and chin broken by someone who’s a trained fighter.

    What an idiot. I wonder what he thinks when he looks in the mirror. He looks almost as weird as Michael Jackson. But, given his monstrous ego, he probably still thinks he’s hot.

  16. WTB

    What the hell is that on his head? It looks like Britney Spears’ bad extensions eating Jessica Simpson. Which, frankly, I would pay $50 in cold, hard cash to see.

  17. RENEE

    Ick, nasty lookin’. Love the Kathleen Turner comment though fish! But I gotta say, the man can act! He was awesome in Sin City & I can’t wait to see the second one!

  18. lambman

    Whatever you don’t fuck with Marv, end of story

  19. 1 MILF Hunter

    He’s turning into Henry Chinanski.

  20. Elk

    Wow getting a DUI while ridding a Vespa. That’s a new low.

  21. DarumaJr.

    Mal gusto…

    Ever been to South Beach, little boy? It’s a world unto itself…. (or did your Mommy only take you to Disney World?)

    And gio, as far as Mickey Rourke goes, that guy has gotten old, as we all will, but that is still one bad motherfucker, and it is a pleasure to see him acting again.

  22. Grunion

    Big deal I never remember what chick was on the back of my vespa at any given time.

  23. Thindza

    Fuck you all, you fags. Mickey Rourke is the Real Man. Boxing without any previous training is just ultra manly. Enjoy jerking off to fucking Johnny Depp Assholes.

  24. Jett

    Mickey,ya startin to look like Jocelyn Wildenstein,

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