Mickey Rourke: If These Balls Could Talk

Mickey Rourke, the leathery cousin of Gloppy from Candy Land, was spotted leaving the gym in only his underwear because he’s an old guy and old guy’s do whatever they want. Here we have his post-boxing bulge on full display for all who dare risk ten years of blindness if his one-eyed snake creeps out and looks directly back at you.

A true American treasure, Mickey Rourke is one of the few on the planet who can sob in public while holding a chihuahua, go 10 rounds with a Slavic boxer, and bang a porn star all in the same afternoon. Honestly, he’s a goddamn inspiration. He once saw Kate Winslett’s breasts at a red carpet party and proceeded to fondle himself in plain sight of her cleavage – the guy doesn’t mess around.