The Hells Angels hatched an assassination plot to kill Mick Jagger, according to a new documentary. Mick Jagger never knew of the plot that came about when he vowed to never hire the Hells Angels again for security after a fan was killed at a 1969 California concert. It turns out Poseidon, God of the Sea, is a fan of the Stones because he helped foil the plot. The AP reports:
Mangold said the men tried to reach Jagger by sea. “The boat was hit by a storm and all of the men were thrown overboard,” he was quoted as saying. They all survived but made no other attempt on his life, Mangold said.
Wait, wait, wait. The Hells Angels didn’t jump the Atlantic on their hogs? Pfft. Lame. I guess it’s a good thing they were wearing super absorbent tampons and had a raft in their purses. *SWISH* Count it!
This post guest-written by Spencer Pratt author of “I Bet Those Chickenshit Hells Angels Couldn’t Find My House and Drive a Harley Into My Testicles.”
tina | March 3, 2008 at 11:02 am
I got a brother who said he saw you on a celebrity and millionaire dating site called BillionaireFriends.c om. Is that you?
Sambo the Ass Pirate | March 3, 2008 at 11:04 am
who’s the tranny?
mimi | March 3, 2008 at 11:09 am
FISH -Head SUKS!
GO BRITNEY!
tight lipped smiler | March 3, 2008 at 11:20 am
Some years ago Mick collapsed backstage & had his stomach pumped of some 2 gallons of spuz. My guess it came from Lurch the Arm Candy at his side.
FRIST!!! | March 3, 2008 at 11:24 am
Haha!!! Spencer Pratt…
HEY ANGELS!!! Heidi Montag called you all PUSSIES as well!!! GET HER!!
Auntie Kryst | March 3, 2008 at 11:24 am
Nice one Fish, I like the save at the end. I’m thinking, dumbass is pissing off the Angels!…No wait, whew. Of course, now you have Hunter Thompson waiting patiently in the afterlife to come kick your wussy ass.
D. Richards (Whore.) | March 3, 2008 at 11:24 am
The Hells Angels wanted wanted to assassinate Mick Jagger?
Isn’t that a little excessive. Mick Jagger’s like a tiny, harmless woman.
Which would explain the entire plot. Jagger refused to ride ‘bitch’ on the Head of the Sacremento chapter of The Hells Angels, Larry ‘Knuckles’ Volmer’s, chopper after only one ride. Seems ol’ Knuckles was a little too ‘handsy’. And rarely bathed.
mimi | March 3, 2008 at 11:25 am
tight lipped smiler…
That is just a stupid urban myth.
2 gallons of spuz! Do you know how many guys or superfish-heads it would take to spew that much “spuz?’
U R AN IDIOT!
amma | March 3, 2008 at 11:26 am
I think the term “butter face” was invented specifically to describe Mick Jagger. On top of that, at his height, he still had the body of a girl. “Petite” & “man” should never be used in the same sentence.
Auntie Kryst | March 3, 2008 at 11:28 am
PS, I’m pleased to see that Mick is finally dating someone age and gender(?) appropriate. @4 You’re a dumbass, wasn’t that myth really about Rod Stewart?
FRIST!!! | March 3, 2008 at 11:28 am
What’s he doing with Cher from the 70′s??
adeliza | March 3, 2008 at 11:30 am
#2—-
her name is L’Wren. Yeah, L’Wren. What ever on the jackass name. Basically, she is a brunette Jerry Hall look alike.
With an asshat name.
FRIST!!! | March 3, 2008 at 11:32 am
Uh oh…something is happening with the comments again…
Gilligan's Angels | March 3, 2008 at 11:34 am
The weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed…
FRIST!!! | March 3, 2008 at 11:43 am
Those pictures remind me of Friday night. Even with all the estrogen treatments, the tranny was able to stay in me much longer than the elderly guy.
mike | March 3, 2008 at 11:50 am
I just read this about the Iranian president’s visit to Iraq:
“The United States has accused Iran of supporting some insurgent groups in Iraq, including supplying explosively-formed penetrators, the deadliest and most sophisticated type of roadside bomb.”
Explosively-formed penetrator. I believe I have a new nickname for Frist’s favorite lollypop.
sam | March 3, 2008 at 11:50 am
I do not think that’s Cher. I believe that’s the lead singer from Dead or Alive and I must say he’s aging very well.
LL | March 3, 2008 at 11:52 am
Damn, you stab and stomp one guy to death at a concert, and all of a sudden, you’re not good enough to work security. Our people at Gitmo stomp more people to death before 9 am than most people do all day. Not sure where I’m going with this…
Oh, yeah, Mick Jagger is now, and has always been, unattractive. I hope he thanks whatever god he prays/sacrifices to every day for his money and fame, because otherwise, he would not be getting top-shelf booty like he is now. From women or men.
LL | March 3, 2008 at 11:54 am
Damn, you stab and stomp one guy to death at a concert, and all of a sudden, you’re not good enough to work security. Our people at Gitmo stomp more people to death before 9 am than most people do all day. Not sure where I’m going with this…
Oh, yeah, Mick Jagger is now, and has always been, unattractive. I hope he thanks whatever god he prays/sacrifices to every day for his money and fame, because otherwise, he would not be getting top-shelf booty like he is now. From women or men.
Unimpressed | March 3, 2008 at 11:54 am
Uhhh … Yeah …. this was news some 35 freaking years ago sub….
= not news today.
I’m just glad Keith Richards is still alive – it gives me hope for my OWN future
LL | March 3, 2008 at 11:55 am
Sorry for the double post. Please don’t send the Hell’s Angels after me. I don’t need that kind of shit on a Monday.
ApacheRose | March 3, 2008 at 11:57 am
Goddammit, Superfish, fix your fucking comments already.
Sonny Barger | March 3, 2008 at 11:58 am
Mick, we are still pissed and we never forget.
Mike | March 3, 2008 at 11:59 am
I don’t have a nickname for my favorite lollypop, it is just called a butt plug.
cvcvcv | March 3, 2008 at 12:01 pm
That tampon joke wouldn’t be as funny if the H.A got a hold of you and started beating your ass I bet. Internet pussies for the win!
gits | March 3, 2008 at 12:04 pm
I bet she fists him while “Under My Thumb” is playing.
RichPort | March 3, 2008 at 12:14 pm
I’m sure his junk is beginning to look like an old sausage casing with half of the meat gone…
D. Richards (Moped.) | March 3, 2008 at 12:20 pm
I never realized that The Hells Angels have a cyber-division. Strange.
Child porno — right, fellas?!
Sid | March 3, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Wow there’s an actual Hell’s Angel on the site (#25)!
Well, actually just a Hell’s Angels’ bitch.
FRIST!!! | March 3, 2008 at 12:21 pm
#17, that was funny, but actually I think I’ve seen a recent picture of that guy and NO HE IS NOT!!
#20, heh heh me too..
Tapeworm | March 3, 2008 at 12:27 pm
Everyone who rides a Harley is required to wax his vagina before riding.
WTF.
Me big CAVEMAN. Me have SMALL DICK!!!! Me ride HOG so that people SEE ME!
Yes world, I am somebody!!! Please pay attention to me and my furry back and my 2 inch cock.
Fucking douchebag biker assholes.
Trover | March 3, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Since Mick Jagger can’t bed Bowie anymore, he moved up to Cher impersonators. The least that tranny could do is get itself some fakies. I mean, try to sell it.
Computer Enthusiast | March 3, 2008 at 12:29 pm
I just started prospecting with a local Angels club here in my town. I’m not really into motorcycles, but the clubhouse has free WiFi.
junior | March 3, 2008 at 12:48 pm
thats a big bitch
Gerald_Tarrant | March 3, 2008 at 12:50 pm
@12 – L’Wren? I think that is short for LaWRENce. That thing was certainly called Larry as a child and picked on for playing with Barbie dolls until the age of, well, now.
Stevie | March 3, 2008 at 12:51 pm
this post reminds me, i need to find my book that i meant to read about some guy that hangs out and writes about the hells angels but i forgot the name of the book.
meh | March 3, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Wow #31…resentment much? I think you need to calm down a little. Not all bikers are dipshit assholes like most of the HA…No, I’m not scared to say it. Most of them are jerks. Greedy little bitches. I live in a county run by them. How stupid is that? God. Stupid fat white guys on a drug induced power trip. It has nothing to do with the bikes, but everything to do with their shitty “I’m so much tougher than you” attitude. One day they will all burn…and this stupid county will realize what a pathetic group of people they are to be scared of a bunch of pussies.
That concludes today’s HA rant…for now.
Gonzo | March 3, 2008 at 12:56 pm
36 – Hell’s Angels: The Strange and Terrible Saga of the Outlaw Motorcycle Gangs, authored by Hunter S. Thompson.
commish | March 3, 2008 at 1:07 pm
#36
Don’t bother. It’s shit, just like every other piece the drugged up dead loser wrote.
commish | March 3, 2008 at 1:07 pm
#36
Don’t bother. It’s shit, just like every other piece the drugged up dead loser wrote.
commish | March 3, 2008 at 1:09 pm
Obviously I feel so strongly about HST’s “works”, I had to post my opinion twice . . . . .
double poster | March 3, 2008 at 1:13 pm
Weee doen’ like yer kind here in Alabamy…
HST goes ATM on commish | March 3, 2008 at 1:25 pm
“There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we’d get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.”
Ted from LA | March 3, 2008 at 1:43 pm
I heard the Hells Angels are secretly trying to kill Keith Richards with drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. So far, no luck.
PrettyBaby | March 3, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Remember when Mick Jagger boinked David Bowie?
So sweet.
commish | March 3, 2008 at 2:09 pm
#43
You prove my point through the words of the dead guy. That crap was award winning? You could draw the same conclusion about Oreos.
And you should know, a gentleman never suggests ATM; he waits for the dirty slut to ask for it . . . . .
HST goes ATM on commish | March 3, 2008 at 2:15 pm
“We are all wired into a survival trip now. No more of the speed that fueled that 60′s. That was the fatal flaw in Tim Leary’s trip. He crashed around America selling “consciousness expansion” without ever giving a thought to the grim meat-hook realities that were lying in wait for all the people who took him seriously… All those pathetically eager acid freaks who thought they could buy Peace and Understanding for three bucks a hit. But their loss and failure is ours too. What Leary took down with him was the central illusion of a whole life-style that he helped create… a generation of permanent cripples, failed seekers, who never understood the essential old-mystic fallacy of the Acid Culture: the desperate assumption that somebody… or at least some force – is tending the light at the end of the tunnel.”
bonner | March 3, 2008 at 2:49 pm
too bad 81 didnt succeed.
huhhuhhuh | March 3, 2008 at 3:05 pm
L’Ren? I thought he died right after creating that stupid fake religion.
Italian Stallion | March 3, 2008 at 4:15 pm
He looks like he needs mothers little helper………