Michelle Williams & Spike Jonze getting married?

April 23rd, 2009 // 32 Comments

- Michelle Williams and Spike Jonze are rumored to marry this summer. Unless, of course, Mary-Kate Olsen kills him first. — Too soon? [I’m Not Obsessed]

- Kevin Federline to become NutriSystem spokesman. Right after he challenges Britney to a pie-eating contest. UPDATE: She won. And doctors are confident they can reattach Jayden’s finger. [Celebslam]

– Lindsay Lohan claims Natalie Portman has been her rock during break up with Samantha Ronson. WTF? That’s like me saying Spider-man and I grab drinks every Thursday. Wait, that’s true. Bad example. [Lainey Gossip]

- Hugh Jackman shoots down rumors he’s gay in this Sunday’s Parade magazine. Senior citizens across America will be pleased. Then take a nap. [Just Jared]

- Brad Pitt is learning how to fly. Who would win in a fight: Brad in a plane or Superman? But it’s the gay Bryan Singer one. Discuss. [Pink is the New Blog]

- Nick Cannon and SpongeBob heart Earth Day. How does this guy have sex with Mariah Carey? Not counting she’s crazy. [MTV Buzzworthy]

- Mel Gibson’s mistress plays the piano in her lingerie. Which is cool. I play the saxophone in a Speedo. (Ladies?) We should jam sometime. [Radar Online]

CONTEST: OK! Magazine is giving away tickets to see the finale of American Idol along with a $500 shopping spree. So, if you enjoy people singing and money, scope it out.

Photos: WENN
superficial

  1. Dirk Diggler

    First?

  2. turd

    too soon

  3. Randal

    Congratulations go out to you Michelle & Spike. I’ve been a fan of you since your appearance on Dawson’s Creek and it’s great to know things continue to look up for you. Keep smiling Michelle!

    Randal

  4. Matilda

    Mom you ignorant slut. You’ll latch onto any cock that gives you a chance to get acting roles, won’t you? Fucking whore. No wonder dad went gay and then killed himself.

  5. ed.

    You’ll note that essentially, #3 and #4 are saying the same thing.

  6. If U Seek Amy

    Fish you funny bastard that made me laugh and coffee came out my nose. That Olsen twin is an evil munchkin.

  7. Frenchy

    prison catfish

  8. rp

    It was too soon but it was also funny, I’m sad to admit.

    I think they’re a really cute couple, I hope so!

  9. Edna Bambrick

    #4 Matilda, you’re reported.

  10. Edna Bambrick

    #6 also reported.

  11. Samantha

    “too soon?”

    ?????????

    Heath “Assup” Ledger already got the most fake-sentiment-driven undeserved Oscar in Academy Award history, and that’s really saying something. I think we’ve given his dignified death – overdosed on psychiatric I-need-chemical-crutches-to-live drugs, in the apartment of an anorexic bug-eyed troll he was spending time with instead of his daughter, prepped face-down/ass-up for gay sex – all the respect it deserves.

  12. catapostrophe

    It’s about time somebody worked up the balls to type THE TRUTH in the comments section of a sarcastic celebrity news web site.

    Way to go, Samantha! Amen! Etc!

  13. n

    LOOK AT DOWN ON HER LUCK GRANNY SITTIN ON THE CURB IN BACKGROUND SMOKIN A BUTT…TIMES MUST BE ROUGH.

  14. Rhialto

    So? When are they getting married?

  15. His Huge Greatness Himself

    This summer looks good to me.

  16. Darth

    Where my bebe?

  17. Gando

    I see K-Fed got himself finally a job.Good for him.

  18. Well,best wishes to both of them.

  19. Matrim

    Goddamn it! My NutriSystem stock has been doing shitty for the last year and a half . . . and now Federline is coming on board? Did I totally miss something at the last share-holders meeting? What the fuck?!

  20. Bridget

    Fabulous shoes!

  21. FILL OUT THE DIVORCE-PAPERS YET.
    (you can never start too early)

  22. tinydancer

    edna please dont be a tattle tale the word bastard is in the dictionary and whats wrong with the words fucking whore after all some one spoke the truth.i love the thruth ok class remember your not talking shit , if your speaking the truth…….

  23. tinydancer

    edna please dont be a tattle tale the word bastard is in the dictionary and whats wrong with the words fucking whore after all some one spoke the truth.i love the thruth ok class remember your not talking shit , if your speaking the truth…….

  24. Warren Piece

    Michelle Williams – REALLY nice legs. No cankles like Audrina Patridge has. Williams can go from frumpy to super hot in 2 seconds flat. I like that.

  25. TG

    You play the saxaphone? You must mean skin flute.

  26. Melissa

    That’s it… I WANT those fucking shoes!!!!!!

  27. I hope so–they’re a cute couple and she deserves it!

  28. britt

    i love you heath ledger

  29. salawhite

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  30. Nero

    Is my girl here?

  31. salawhite

    i’m sure

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