Michelle Rodriguez takes steroids

April 27th, 2006 // 110 Comments

mrodriguez-steroids.jpgIn the shocker of all shockers, Michelle Rodriguez admits to using steroids, claiming they were responsible for her recent drunk driving and bad behavior. She claimed in court that she had been taking steroid injections twice a month to treat allergies she developed upon arriving in Hawaii and that the injections made her “manic.”

“I personally am thankful that I was stopped because of the fact that I didn’t acknowledge my own behaviour and how sporadic it was until all hell broke loose in my life.” While in court, Rodriguez also asked the judge to take into consideration that she only got her driver’s license seven years ago, so she could do a “car racing movie” and that “all of my driving experience started and was acquired from a car racing school”. The actress claims she’s “lost everything” because of her drunken driving arrest and had to sell her house and car to help pay for legal costs. When asked why she chose jail time over 240 hours of community service, she said, “I kind of have to go back to my life, go back to making some money. This sort of gave me a hard hit.”

It makes perfect sense that Michelle Rodriguez would take steroids to treat her allergies. I usually just pop a Claritin, but shoving a needle into my ass and injecting harmful chemicals directly into my bloodstream just makes so much more sense. Although I’m bit confused as to why she had to sell her car and house to pay for a lawyer. Are they paying her in fish or something? She’s an actress, not a damn dish washer at the local IHOP.

Source

superficial

  1. radio3play

    ha

  2. radio3play

    4play…where you were?

  3. Captain Awesome

    Great, like she didn’t look enough like a pitbull before. Now her dick is going to shrink.

  4. Chrystal03

    Viva la raza!!!

  5. BigJim

    This is good news. I need a new workout partner.

  6. TaiTai

    No wait, this is an episode of “Lost,” right? That explains a lot about Ana-Lucia — it’s all roid rage.

  7. Redd Foxx

    As someone who overdoses on allergy medication on a frequent and regular basis, it doesn’t make you turn into a moron who yells at cops.

    But it does turn you into a handsome woman.

  8. Akapee

    Barry Bonds is her hero. Whoaaa…..

  9. mamacita

    Ok, here’s the thing. Steroids (cortisone,the prescription kind) can be given for various medical issues. I once got a steroid injection from the doctor because I had pleurisy. They’re also used to treat asthma, lupus, back pain, etc. However, there is no way that prescription steroid use would cause a ‘manic episode’. Additionally, Michelle Rodriguez is obviously a dumb bitch and is grasping at straws so that she can escape the blame for her own failings. It’s not the allergies, the steroids, the fact that you live in Hawaii, etc. etc. The problem is that she’s completely irresponsible and self-centered and that’s it.

    P.S. My nipples are really big, my testicles are very small all of a sudden, and I have an undeniable urge to start smashing things a la Hulk. Can anyone explain this?

  10. cate

    So, does that explain the masculinity?

  11. cate

    So, does that explain the masculinity?

  12. griffmills

    How much was the fine, like $5,000,000?
    Had to sell house and car?
    I’d hit, but then she would hit me.

  13. apocalypsist

    I’d hit it.

  14. TaiTai

    Mama I also had a steroid injection or two or three, for a shoulder injury. And I am totally fine. FINE I TELL YOU! Why didn’t you think I was fine? Are you looking at me?

    Pass the razor, I do see some chin stubble.

    P.S. that cop who pulled me over totally deserved it.

  15. apocalypsist

    But only if Vin Diesel joined.

  16. mamacita

    @14

    I was just kidding about the P.S. in my last post. I don’t have testicles!!!!! I DON’T DON’T DON’T DON’T!!!!! Damn that doctor!!! He said that after the operation, I’d be “just like a regular woman”!!!!!!!

  17. cockburn

    Cortisone shots are not the type of steriod that athletes use. Totally different class of drug. If you take them regularly they can make you feel crazy. Ask the 8 year old who lives in my trunk.

  18. deez bananas

    anyone see her on punk’d awhile back? she’s had ‘roid rage for a long time now.

  19. TaiTai

    I think when she said she was going broke paying her “lawyer,” what she really meant was “paying my publicist to come up with some way to make this look like it wasn’t my fault.” And I think she should ask for her money back.

  20. pinky_nip

    I am so sick of these whinny hollywood asses blaming everything but themselves for their own actions.

    “Oh, I shot that baby in the head! No, I didn’t, I’ve been under the control of Tom Cruise and his scientology brain-washing. Yeah, that’s it. I’m innocent!”

  21. pinky_nip

    P.S. She’s also ugly. AND fat.

  22. BigJim

    She never took any steroids. The cops were questioning her about a B&E at an electronics store, and she said “I didn’t take no stereos.”

  23. Italian Stallion

    Is Yankee Alex Rodriguez her brother?

  24. BigJim

    #21, she may be fat, but she’s not a big fat fatty.

    Like Edna.

    I wish real Edna is here. She brings out the best (worst) in me.

    I need to get a life.

  25. pinky_nip

    There are levels of fat: I hate fat people, but love fatties. Do you get me?

  26. apocalypsist

    Yeah, Stallion. Because there are only like 2 or 3 people in the whole world with the last name Rodriguez.

  27. Just reading her defense is grounds for justifiable homicide. She only learned to drive for The Fast and the Furious? Is she implying that if she didn’t get that role, she wouldn’t know how to drive today? And like it was bad training – how many of us were taught how to drive by professional movie stunt drivers? And someone explain to me how one DUI bankrupts you? And even if that is the case, then why on earth didn’t Michelle Rodykes take the community service and at least work while she made amends?

  28. And she took the steroids to grow her clit into a penis!

  29. CruisingForCock

    26 I’m thinking Stallion was referring to the um…baseball/steroid controversy. And pinning it on a Yankee is always a plus.

  30. apocalypsist

    oh right. i forgot that cretins are usually way into sports.

  31. Ez-EEEE

    i miss edna too.
    i feel like without her, i might be able to say the word fuck without the entire world collasping on us. its not a good feeling. its a void. i like knowing there are reprecussions for my actions. i like knowing that if i say “edna is a huge fat old bitch with a gapping vagina and smelly asshole”… someone will report me. i miss the warmth of her caps and the shadow of her mass. the nights are cold and the days are long without edna to watch us all. to vulture our comments. to call us vile and disgusting. to report us. to blindly judge us by a law that none of us really care to live by.
    oh edna, come back.

  32. I would love to get “Lost” right in her pudgy little ass. If she plays her cards right, a Dirty Sanchez is in her future, too.

    Did you hear that, Edna? I am going to do a ‘roid-raging chick in the ass and then wipe my poo-stained man stick on her upper lip.

    Yipee!

  33. sweetlips

    boo hoo hoo…..go the fuck up and get over it. Had to loose her house and car. WTF!! I didn’t realize she worked at Taco Bell, shit I thought she was a chubby wanna be actress on a #1 show. Hmmm, guess I was wrong.

  34. apocalypsist

    since when is she an actress? last time i checked posing in 5 seasons old H&M mesh tanks in front of tricked out camaros while Vin Diesel tries to approximate how long it will take him after the shoot to get Brian O’Conner bound, gagged and in the leather chaps doesn’t count as acting.

  35. BigJim

    The title for this article should have read:

    “Michelle Rodriguez takes it in the ass”

    I should know, because last week I was going down on her, and the fact that she had this massive, ‘roid enlarged clitoris made me feel like I was going all brokeback, so rather than be disgusted I decided to go with it and figured, “Hell, I might as well get some fudge on my manstick if I’m gonna go the gay way.”

    So I did.

    Michelle, I really, really wish I could quit you. Cuz I didn’t like how you beat the ever-lovin’ shit out of me when I couldn’t make you come.

  36. TaiTai

    OK #31, you like to be a naughty boy? It’s Edna Rubrick here to tell you how bad you are. You are collasping, you will face reprecussions, your gapping lack of spelling has made me want to REPORT YOU for your lack of use of your shift key and apostrophes. You are vile and disgusting. Now bend over while I spank your naughty bum.

    Do you feel better now? The pleasure has been all mine.

  37. BigJim

    #36:

    I am reporting all misspelled posts.

  38. Okay, I am a legal assistant and we take care of DWI’s all the time. Our fees are $1,500. The court costs and fines are much less than $1,000, especially if you chose to go to jail insted of pay. Bail is probably around $1,000, and you get that back. Required counseling and classes combined are less than $1,000 and all of this is paid over a long period of time anyway. Conclusion: this bitch is crazy.

  39. Zanna

    See, now THIS one makes my nipples invert. She puts a damper on my Angelina/Alba fantasy. God, I HATE her for that.

  40. urgh, i do not believe for a second that Man-chelle Rodriguez had to sell all of her shit to pay for legal fees. What a grumpy, self-pittying ass. Mainly I am just annoyed by the irritating character that she plays in ‘Lost’. At least now I can hate her in real life too.
    http://celebrityreligion.typepad.com

  41. gogoboots

    Of course if she purposely chose steriod injections to deal with her allergies, knowing that they make her manic, why do it while driving a car?

  42. celebsaredumb

    Who’s writing this crap today? NOTHING is entertaining at all. I can write better trash in a coma with my hands tied behind my back.

  43. apocalypsist

    then do it, #42. we’re waiting.

  44. dirtypiratehooker

    That bitch is one Birkenstock away from becoming a carpet muncher.

  45. TaiTai

    #37 BigJim, do you mean you are REPORTING me? Because I was only scolding Ez because he likes to be scolded and he is such a naughty boy for misspelling all those words that I took directly from his post.

    Or do you mean that REPORTING people is your job, and you already took care of spanking Ez for his misspellings, and I am invading your territory?

    Either way, I feel so naughty. Please, spank me.

  46. Zanna

    So go ahead #42 – write something. Amuse us.

  47. Oh PULEEZ! The steroids she is talking about is something akin to Cortisone. It’s a class of steroid given to people with Asthma or bad allergies. All it does is reduce the inflamation in your nose/lungs etc… Any of your friends with asthma who take puffs off that thing that looks like a pink inhaler or a purple wheel shaped thing are taking “Steroids”. They don’t influence behavior etc… and if she lost her house to fight a DUI then the bitch was ready to lose the house already. She is on a top ten show and couldn’t afford the $5,000 lawyer retainer? If stars would stop B.S.ing all the time they might not look so f-ing stupid.

    Side note:::: if she was taking the other kind of steroids it might explain her penis.

  48. Ez-EEEE

    1. im a girl.
    2. fuck up with the spell check.
    3. eye whill speel howeva teh feck eye wana speel.
    YA HEARD?

  49. robot_turkey

    “Is Yankee Alex Rodriguez her brother?”

    She IS Alex Rodriguez! Especially if he’s all ‘roided-up, gorilla style like her!

  50. TaiTai

    Ez gotcha.

    Damn, there goes my whole spankin’ thing. Forget the offer as I will only spank naughty boyz. But that makes me wonder about your thang for Edna??

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