Michelle Rodriguez pleaded guilty yesterday to driving under the influence and opted for five days of jail time rather than 240 hours of community service. She been ordered to return to court later today where she’ill be taken into custody and transported to a women’s facility in Oahu.
It makes sense she would choose jail over community service since she always looks like she just got ouf of prison anyway. You can’t look the way she looks and not enjoy the lesbian prison sex. Science won’t allow it.
Benny | April 26, 2006 at 9:06 am
#1 Bitches
Chrystal03 | April 26, 2006 at 9:11 am
I’d hit it…
jenny4a20 | April 26, 2006 at 9:12 am
Id hit it too…..with a shovel…
mika | April 26, 2006 at 9:13 am
Hope she’ll be in the same cell with Lil kim…
Geno | April 26, 2006 at 9:14 am
When is the prison DVD coming out? Reserve me a copy.
http://catholictvguy.blogspot.com/
biatcho | April 26, 2006 at 9:17 am
Her last name is Rodriguez, what did you expect? Hhmm, do prison time like the rest of her family or actually get off her lazy ass & do something for the community?
Frot Dawg | April 26, 2006 at 9:22 am
“Vasquez, I mean Michelle, have you ever been mistaken for a man?”
trulymadlydeeplytori | April 26, 2006 at 9:22 am
classy move.
Chrystal03 | April 26, 2006 at 9:34 am
She should have taken community service, I am sure there is plenty of grass to cut.
Gerald Tarrant | April 26, 2006 at 9:36 am
Why waste 240 hours of community service, just spend 5 free days in a resort like celeb-jail. Good for you Michelle, I’m glad you’ll learn your lesson.
BarbadoSlim | April 26, 2006 at 9:37 am
Things are gonna get HOTTER at the Oahu Women’s
“Correctional Institute” …
fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap…
hafaball | April 26, 2006 at 9:48 am
you could hit it with a shovel, but it’d keep on coming o.o
hendero | April 26, 2006 at 9:55 am
that’s what happens when you appoint Imelda Marcos as your attorney
BarbadoSlim | April 26, 2006 at 9:55 am
FOCUS UP “LADIES” …FOCUS UP!
BULLDYKE WALKIN’!!!
Fisher55 | April 26, 2006 at 9:57 am
she scares me
YunGunna | April 26, 2006 at 10:02 am
Whos gonna drop the soap first?
sharkbite | April 26, 2006 at 10:16 am
She looks so hardcore, now we’ll find out if she really is. If she’s not, I’m sure she’ll be right at the top of the list to write a tell-all book on it.
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
Zanna | April 26, 2006 at 10:18 am
240 hours of picking up trash on the side of the road or 5 days of sex with inmates and prison guards. Oh…it’s my little fantasy,leave me alone!
http://www.dvddrive-in.com/reviews/t-z/womeninfury.htm8776
shell | April 26, 2006 at 10:19 am
Maybe she wants to go back in the joint for a chance to meet up with some long lost friends.
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | April 26, 2006 at 10:21 am
I think I just threw up in my vagina a little bit.
Joke: Hey, why do Mexicans have tiny steering wheels?
Answer: So they can have hot lesbian prison burning loins inmate sex while I watch! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL SOM! @#$%^&*^@~$$$@!!!!
DevastatorX | April 26, 2006 at 10:23 am
Wow, a hispanic choosing jail over community service?? I think i’m going to have a heart attack and die over that one. Figures she wouldn’t choose to work.
MystressJade | April 26, 2006 at 10:24 am
5 days in jail for her is as natural as a drive by. Genetics, baby.
#7 : I like the “Aliens” reference.
Fisher55 | April 26, 2006 at 10:36 am
even if she’s not really a bad-ass, there can’t be that many hardcore chicks jailed in Honolulu…
mamacita | April 26, 2006 at 10:41 am
@20
Hey, you whore!!!! Get my email address from Jacq-I wanna ask you something.
For all the people who are implying, or outright saying, that Mexicans are lazy, consider this. If you paid me $50 to clean your entire house, I bet I could do it faster than that meth-head that Whitney Houston paid to clean up her bathroom. Gringo bitches!!!!!!!!!
P.S. I’m just kidding here. I am actually Mexican, but I can take my knocks with the rest of them. The Superficial is an equal opportunity satire site and I respect that. But, you’re all still gringo bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chrystal03 | April 26, 2006 at 10:45 am
I’m hispanic as well, there’s nothing like making fun of yourself. :P
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | April 26, 2006 at 10:48 am
24 – If you want to ask me out why can’t you do it in front of people? Are you ashamed of me? I’m so tired of all the secrets and lies!
And I will take you up on that bet, but let the consumer be aware I will do it for one gram of crank, saving them 25% for a higher-quality, more thorough cleaning. Please hide your jewelry in advance.
I do not trust myself.
mamacita | April 26, 2006 at 10:52 am
@26
Secrets and lies? Isn’t that a song by Ginuwyne?
P.S. I can beat your price. I’ll do it for some peanut butter crackers and an orange Fanta.
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | April 26, 2006 at 10:59 am
I was just thinking of that song “Sittin up in my room” by Brandi, because that’s what I listen to when I sit by the phone waiting for you to call and ask me to the ice cream social, but you keep breaking my heart. Why do you mock my broken heart with your secrets and lies?
I got your price beat – I brought 46 of my friends in my El Camino and we brought enough oranges for everyone!!! So that’s one $40 gram, labor time divided by 46, plus free oranges. Trow in some Tecate an joo got a deal, meester!
Italian Stallion | April 26, 2006 at 11:00 am
Jail in Hawaii, she probably got the Ocean view cell!!!
You would think she would no how to outrun them after all that shit she did in the Fast and the Furious, or when she was younger and parked cars…………
thebor | April 26, 2006 at 11:03 am
A couple things piss me off about this:
1. She has gotten three dui’s and gets five days!!!! A normal person gets at least a year here and say goodbye to your DL.
2. In most states Com. Service time has a cash value. So she either doesn’t have money…Meth; or she sees going to jail as a sweet career move. After here five days, she can make the talk show circuit. Harpo probably already has a date set.
It makes me crazy that celebs get special treatment in COURT, I understand at the hotel, restuarant, massage parlor, but in Court.
Let’s see how here tough girl image is in Jail. I can just here the quote know “He lost girl, I’m going to lose my fist in your ass.
LittleWatson | April 26, 2006 at 11:06 am
#7: Yes, Aliens! Get away from her, you bitch!
I don’t except anything else out of M-Rod. She would rather sit in jail, which you would think would be completely humiliating, then waste her time helping others. Community service for celebrities is always easier, anyway. She’s a punk.
Zanna | April 26, 2006 at 11:09 am
Actually, #30 – (and I hate to say this) but I know alot of people with multiple DUIs and they’ve never done any jail time – just had to go to “aa” and some other bullshit…so even though her status MIGHT have gotten her some preferential treatment in court…there is still another ton of assholes out there who got busted last night, will go to court today – get some kind of ‘sentence’ and will go out and drink & drive again tonight.
Moriarty | April 26, 2006 at 11:16 am
Lesbians? She’s…
http://tinyurl.com/nvpob
Trotter | April 26, 2006 at 11:26 am
Hmmm. I’m a huge lesbian with a big, silky minge and my choices are:
240 hours of picking up garbage with your cousins, uh, fellow offenders.
5 blissful days and nights of labia-lappin-looovve
mamacita | April 26, 2006 at 11:26 am
@28
Do you ever watch George Lopez? There was this one episode where his bratty ass daughter wanted to go on a skiing trip and it was going to cost $500 and George was totally not going to let her go. So, she’s like “But, dad, you can make this my Christmas present!” and he says “Well, that’s about 485 dollars more than I was planning on spending!” and she says “This sucks!” and he goes “Hey!! Save it for Christmas when you open your bottle of shampoo!!”
Spoiled little bitch. All I got for Christmas was a package of dried pinto beans. The REFRIED beans were too expensive. Hell, I coudn’t even get just some first-fried ones. Nooooo, I got the totally uncooked ones and that bitch gets a bottle of shampoo!!!!!!!! Slutbag!!!!!
Dr.Rokter | April 26, 2006 at 11:36 am
En route to sentencing, “Dog” Chapman gave her a cigarette and explained to her that “Ice” was, “the Devil”.
prideofchucky | April 26, 2006 at 11:38 am
Dude, she chooses jail time over some shotty community service that she probably could have just blown off… I think I love u Michelle:)!
prideofchucky | April 26, 2006 at 11:40 am
I’ll be ur gringo bitch, Michelle! (stars in eyes)
Edna'sHugeVagina | April 26, 2006 at 11:41 am
I’m REPORTING #36, #35, #28, # 29 and just for the future, #’s 51-67. I’m reporting you to my vagina.
REPORTED!! I LOVE PAPAHOTNUTS.
mamacita | April 26, 2006 at 11:43 am
@36
NO MORE ICE IN PARADISE!!!
NO MORE ICE IN PARADISE!!!
NO MORE ICE IN PARADISE!!!
NO MORE ICE IN PARADISE!!!
NO MORE ICE IN PARADISE!!!
NO MORE ICE IN PARADISE!!!
NO MORE ICE IN PARADISE!!!
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | April 26, 2006 at 12:28 pm
35 – don’t you mean “cham-pu”?
sundaybl00dysunday | April 26, 2006 at 12:29 pm
Aaaah she just wanted some free pussy
sundaybl00dysunday | April 26, 2006 at 12:32 pm
btw I really hate her in Lost so I hope someway she’ll be arrested for a real crime and stay in jail for the next 3 years and stay out of Lost!
jenny4a20 | April 26, 2006 at 12:34 pm
Which end of the shovel should I hit it with?
boobiezmagee | April 26, 2006 at 12:35 pm
#34
AHAHAHAHAHAH!
I laughed so hard at that, I think I came.
Frot Dawg | April 26, 2006 at 12:37 pm
Re: the “Aliens” reference in #7:
I only thought of that because I’d just watched “Resident Evil” two days ago, and Ms. Rodriguez was channeling Jenette Goldstein throughout. (Also, it wasn’t till the closing credits that I realized “Hugh Jackman” was actually James Purefoy.)
Zed | April 26, 2006 at 12:41 pm
#6
biatcho, that was really … really … er … bitchy.
But then you knew that, right?
Okay, then. Carry on everyone.
mamacita | April 26, 2006 at 12:56 pm
@41
What the hell am I THINKING?!! Of course I meant cham-pu.
P.S. I finish raking up de leabes in your yard. Where’s my sheck, meester?
lurkerx | April 26, 2006 at 1:24 pm
#30
Yes, but it’s 5 days that she can’t SURF. That’s punishment enough. Maybe the mokes’ll make a real lesbian out of her.
She may not be doing community service, but she’ll be doing a trimjob for somebody.
Now we just need someone to direct the whole video, and throw Anne Heche into the mix.
Anne’d be all like, “No mas cervazas, Michelle. Dame tu chocha, puta. Rapido.”
Then they could cuddle afterwards and wax about their Harrison Ford fantasies, or some other girly shit. By then I’ll be using a kleenex.
biatcho | April 26, 2006 at 1:37 pm
#47
I like to think of it more as racist than bitchy. Alrighty then, carry on…