Michelle Pfeiffer is not almost carjacked

mpfeiffer_carjack.jpgThis is one of the most confusing things I’ve ever read. The NY Post reports that The London Daily Mirror reports that Michelle Pfeiffer was almost carjacked while loading stuff into her car, except that she wasn’t actually there.

Michelle Pfeiffer had a close call the other day in London, where she’s filming the comedy “I Could Never Be Your Woman.” According to The London Daily Mirror, Pfeiffer and her driver were at Camden Market, in North London, loading her Range Rover up with purchases, when a gang of carjackers descended. They caused a distraction, and one man jumped in the car and sped off. But Pfeiffer’s rep tells us the star herself wasn’t there, just her hireling. “She was just glad no one got hurt,” the rep notes.

It seems wrong to refer to Michelle Pfeiffer’s employee as Michelle Pfieiffer herself. I understand that celebrities are the masters of the Universe, but they can’t just pretend they had a “close call” whenever something bad happens to somebody they know or own. When somebody headbutts my maid, you don’t see me whining about how I was almost headbutted that one time. Well you do, but that’s just because I’m a whiny bitch.

And speaking of bad things happening, make sure you donate to the American Red Cross to help Katrina victims. If you don’t, I’ll sneak into your house and poo on your bed.