Michelle Hunziker in a Bikini

April 4th, 2010 // 56 Comments

And we’re back.

Here’s Swiss model/actress Michelle Hunziker spending Easter Sunday in Miami, and she almost looks like a herpes-free Paris Hilton, doesn’t she? Which don’t get me wrong, is actually a compliment. I know I talk a lot of shit about Paris Hilton but you can’t deny she’s an attractive woman once you look past the herpes, the death knees, the herpes and the herpes.

Paris Hilton has herpes.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. MD

    Nice ass

  2. v-tard

    Looks like the kind of girl you’d settle down with, patting yourself on the back for finding someone in that grey area between nextdoor-type and supermodel.

  3. frankw

    Paris Hilton has NEVER been that fine…

  4. phil

    Too bad about the stupid tattoo.

  5. GQ Guy

    Paris looks better!

  6. Posttache

    She’d be better off without that tattoo.

  7. THAT_GIRL_JENN

    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    ONLY A SCRAWNY DICK WHITE MAN CAN LOVE SOMETHING THAT REMINDS HIM OF A 12 YEAR OLD BOY.

    GROSS

    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

  8. THAT_GIRL_JENN

    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    I AM A FAT AMERICAN PIG THAT SHOPS AT WAL-MART. MY VIBRATOR JUST MADE A RUN FOR THE FRONT DOOR, POOR THING.

    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

  9. Paris Hilton has NEVER been that fine…

  10. wooo

    The tribal armband tattoo is the 1990′s equivalent of a mullet.

  11. Haywood Jablowmie

    The fine tits, and cute little ass are the 90s equivalent of fine tits, and a cute little ass

  12. the game

    for a 38 year old that is perfect figure. you wanna settle down with that.

  13. Thanks for taking the time to write this post

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  15. She is looking fantastic in these pictures. Her body is so much flexible so that she can wear anything, she looks beautiful.

  16. JesseJimmy

    I could do without the armband, but her breasts look yummy. Paris has mosquito bites compared to this vision.

    Plus, this chicks abs give me the impression she works out, unlike Paris, who has the muscle tone of gelatin.

  17. meh!!!!!!!!

    look at her shoulders, she’s built like a skinny guy, yak, and her eyes so close together you’d think she has some mental retardation, why ppl find this subjects attractive I don’t know…

  18. Gr8Mustache

    The tattoo doesn’t exactly scream, “Herpes Free!”

  19. Fine woman in an ugly-ass bathing suit

  20. rickardo

    She’s pretty cute but her tattoo is soooo shitty, get that covered up with a proper half sleeve please!

  21. Nero

    That.body.looks.very.bangable.Please.accept.my.penis.as.a.gift.

  22. jeo

    Average face, bad tattoo, perfect body.

  23. etc

    Slim AND curvy. Check out that waist to hip ratio and those amazing abs. Smoking hot. This is how models should look, not like some emaciated teens. As close to perfection as it gets.

  24. Didn’t she jump out a window in Lethal Weapon?

    S H I T. I guessed she was like 22 years old (I’m reading 33).

  25. PostmortemG

    Now that´s a cute lady. Her body is great; that other herpes infested waste-of-space has nothing on this woman. The tattoo *IS* ugly, however. Anyway, yeah… she has my approval, and i wouldn´t mind seeing her again. =P

  26. ANNND she’s Swedish, and has 30 kids. Must be pretty durable.

  27. TekMoney

    Looks like Paris, hmm? Lets see: face-wise? Ehh, a little bit. Body-wise? Hell no! This girl actually has a figure while Paris looks like Gollum! (big feet and all)

  28. Tom

    I don’t like it when the moles stick out so far that they have their own shadow. Like little speed bumps.

  29. bar room hero

    That shitty tattoo looks like hell.

    2 point deduction.

  30. Cartman

    Why would you talk about that skank Paris in an article about this fine woman?

    She’d be perfect without that generic tattoo.

  31. Paree

    Paris Hilton is not an attractive woman…she’s a tan, blonde butterface. You’ve seen her face right? The nose? The dopey eyes? The sheer Cro-Magnon-ness of her…

  32. Jammy

    She’s a butterface and that tatoo trashys her up tenfold although i will admit that she has a really nice body.

  33. gigi

    oh…… ok….? this morning on the way to work I think I saw about 7 or 8 women on the Metro at various intervals who looked this chick…. am I missing something? does she do any tricks?

  34. whatthe

    Um, this model probably has herpes as well? I think pretty much everyone has fucked someone who has fucked Paris Hilton at some point.

  35. Ken

    @12: she’s 33
    @27: she’s Swiss

  36. turd da third

    Why is everyone crazy about her? It has a manface and a lezbo magnet stupid-ass tattoo That bathing suit is horrible I think the hotel must be missing its curtains.

  37. She is looking fantastic in these pictures. Her body is so much flexible so that she can wear anything,

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  40. captain america

    I’m sure, AMERICANS WHO LOOK SLIM MUST BE ONE OF THE HAPPIEST PEOPLE ON EARTH?

  41. Pia

    Very nice body indeed… but that tattoo! Nothing says “I wish I were a badass, but I’m really just a pussy” like an armband that doesn’t even go all the way around the arm. Armbands are tacky no matter what, but if you can’t even handle the pain of getting the inside of your arm done, then don’t get a tattoo! Her body is impressive, but her face is not “beautfiul”.

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  44. @ 42 – “…that tattoo! Nothing says “I wish I were a badass, but I’m really just a pussy” like an armband that doesn’t even go all the way around the arm.”

    It’s a “me-too”. But there are so many positive things here my brain is disregarding it.

  45. Jimbo

    I’d let her suck my dick

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