Michelle Rodriguez Understands The Oscars

Apparently it’s Characters From LOST Say Whatever The Fuck They Want Day, because here’s Michelle Rodriguez explaining to Vulture why Nicole Kidman won’t win an Oscar solely for peeing on Zac Efron even though she clearly should. So right off the bat you can tell this was a sober conversation:

As for those outrageous Paperboy scenes where Nicole Kidman pees on Zac Efron and arrives at a very loud hands-free orgasm, “I fucking loved it,” Rodriguez enthused. “One of my friends said, ‘She’s going to get nominated for an Oscar for that.’ I was like, ‘Nah, man. She’s not black!’ I laugh, but it’s also very sad. It makes me want to cry. But I really believe. You have to be trashy and black to get nominated. You can’t just be trashy.

Sitting in front of his computer in a darkened room, Tom Hanks takes a sip of his scotch before walking past his two Oscars on his way to the bathroom. As he stares in the mirror slowly removing the white paint from his black skin as he done so many nights before in secret, only one thought and one thought only occupies his mind, “I will kill you for this, Michelle Rodriguez. I will kill you dead…”

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN