And Now For The Part of Cannes Where Michelle Rodriguez Wears A Bikini And Jumps Off Things

May 23rd, 2012 // 64 Comments

Here’s Michelle Rodriguez at Eden Roc where she stays every year for Cannes because she’s a bisexual spider-monkey who constantly dives off shit. Also, they let her jump on top of cars as they pull up so people can feed her grapes through a cracked window. “Ha, look, honey, she’s grabbing your tit. We loved you in Lost!”

Photos: INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN


  1. cc

    The rare, pasty-white subspecies of Hispanic lesbians. Not often you see these in the wild. Or at least not in the company of much older men with wild hair and numerous tattoos.

    • USDA Prime McBeef

      you can tell by her face that not only does she like women, she fucking despises men.

      • momi

        can you really blame her…Peep the above comment
        (The rare, pasty-white subspecies of Hispanic lesbians. Not often you see these in the wild. Or at least not in the company of much older men with wild hair and numerous tattoos). Subspecies? That’s rich. Maybe that is what you call women who don’t give you the time of day in Idaho, but in the rest of the world, we just call them, “better than you”.

      • cc

        Thanks for dropping in Ms. Allred.

  2. Abby Normal

    Bisexual Spider-Monkey could be a great superhero. Is there time to work her into the next Avengers movie?

  3. Cock Dr

    At least she looks like she’s having a good time.

  4. Michelle Rodriguez Bikini Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    How is Samantha Ronson equal to or greater than this chick in the lesbian world ?

    • ding

      Why do they have to be in a competition? The “lesbian world” is far larger than you might imagine.

      • I agree

        Ask your girlfriend. I think the correct internet terminology for internet girlfriends is, “hand”.

    • I agree

      Also, and this might not be your fault, Deuce…
      Math is complex.
      There is no arguing about “greater and lesser than” when you have an ultimate result.
      Again, I need to reiterate that although nobody argues that Samantha Ronson might be gay, if you put her into the “greater and lesser than” box, Samantha Ronson will always win because she is “out” publicly.

  5. Dramatic Puddle

    So why would this lesbo be at Cannes? Does she even have a career left? Or is she there trying to get someone — anyone! — to hire her? Put me in the no-thanks category. She’s not interesting.

    • EricLr

      “So why would this lesbo be at Cannes? Does she even have a career left? Or is she there trying to get someone — anyone! — to hire her?”

      Hi, you must be new here.

      • damien

        na he just wondering why the b lister was at sure lots are wondering

      • minxee

        Kim Whordashian and Kanye Weird were at Cannes, so if Michelle, the sub-species is a B lister, does that make the other 2 Z listers? Just a personal sensibility here.

    • Ummm…are you talking about the star of Avatar, Bloodrayne, Machete and the upcoming Resident Evil: If You Make it for 30 mil and it grosses 50 domestic and 80 overseas everyone gets paid?

      Let’s see…Avatar was the biggest blockbuster of all time. And Machete was the greatest critical success. They probably already gave her the Palme D’Or.

      • Anon

        Star of Avatar? I only saw the overrated hot mess once, but wasn’t she just a pilot with a very small bit of screen time?

      • minxee

        talk about an overrated hot mess, that chick Rhianna should get the Palm D’or for that! What DOES that chick do, I mean besides get drunk, wear as little clothes as possible and get tats?

  6. i bet she has a hairy asshole, would love to see it…

  7. EricLr

    My mother always warned me that dating a Puerto Rican woman was a good way to get stabbed. But I think with her I might be willing to take that chance.

  8. Michelle Rodriguez Bikini Cannes
    Urall Fhags
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d scissor with this chick, and I’m a dude.

  9. Michelle Rodriguez Bikini Cannes
    EmmaWatson's Vagina
    Commented on this photo:

    this is the response when asked what she did when she was last scen with Tara Reid at the P.Diddy party.

  10. She’s smoking hot! What in the world are you people looking at? Who cares if she’s lesbian? Almost makes her hotter to me. Just imagining her with another beautiful woman… You people are blind.

  11. Grand Dragon

    Has this chick ever played any role that wasnt “feisty bad ass tough girl with a heart of gold”?

  12. Michelle Rodriguez Bikini Cannes
    Grand Dragon
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Tony Danza in drag circa 1985

  13. Michelle Rodriguez Bikini Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m not proud to say this, but I need to lick that.

  14. El Jefe

    M- Rod is banging. Always has been. And she likes chicks too, I really don’t see the downside to that. Not like I want to marry her.

  15. Michelle Rodriguez Bikini Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    …and straight men everywhere shed a tear for the one that got away.


  16. Michelle Rodriguez Bikini Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks a lot better (and more feminine) than i remember…nice work michelle

  17. disillusionisreal

    I’d do her….

  18. momi

    she looks great. i am convinced that most of the people responding here have barely breached puberty or have even come close to an actual boob. Way to thumb up Will Smith for bitch-slapping some random dude and thumb down a woman with a completely respectable body because she is a “lesbo” . I’d do her. And I am a straight woman. In fact I would most likely do her any day over any of you dickweeds that constantly talk about eating someones asshole. Yeah, that’s fucking romantic. Like Shakespeare—only completely riddled with all kinds of gay innuendos.

    • *yawn*

      Can you please tell the other people like you not to bother commenting on this site? The only thing you’re accomplishing is to waste both your time and mine. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have misanthropy, romance and gay innuendo to spread and actual boobs to get close to.

      PS: Maybe you should try letting someone eat your asshole – It might get the stick out.

      • momi

        No. I won’t excuse you…you are inexcusable. I have been on the Superficial since Y2K. I used to love it. Since then, It has become a site that is more and more frequently dedicated to the comment section occupied for the most part by wildly masturbating, dick joke-spewing, juvenile retards who all vie for the coveted “Most Important People on the Internet” spot because it is the closest you will ever get to fame and high-fives at the frat house. Grow up. Suck a dick. My guess is you will LOVE it.

      • barnaby

        i have been on here since 2000 and could not agree more. we like it better the old way!!!LOL
        Get rid og the comments (or at least some of the commenters…lol)..
        I miss the old format. This is turning into faceboobk.

      • To momi and barnaby:

        1. You realize I can see your IP address and know you’re the same person, right? Okay, good.

        2. The site’s only been around since late 2004.

        3. Dicks. Eat them.

      • barnaby

        That is not even close to true. If you are indeed “the Superficial” you would know that the site goes back way longer than that. I most certainly wrote the eds at the Superficial way back when I was a grad student at Vanderbilt in 1999. Perhaps you took over at that point (that would explain why this site has gone completely downward dog) but I am not lying.

        Eat a bowl of dicks.

  19. I just happened to come back to the page checking on what’s new, and looked at her again. I said before she was smoking hot. She’s more than that, she’s BEAUTIFUL. Even with all the many different shots, angles, etc that she doesn’t even appear to have posed for, she looks beautiful in every single one. Hair. Face. Body. Just a gorgeous woman.

  20. Michelle Rodriguez Bikini Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow…no Dick!?!

  21. Michelle Rodriguez Bikini Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks amazing!

  22. Nobody

    Whoever convinced her to buy that bikini needs to be shot.

  23. Huh… has it been a year already?

  24. tod

    she looks good

  25. lkl

    This is the best I’ve ever seen her.

  26. Michelle Rodriguez Bikini Cannes
    Sean Barnes
    Commented on this photo:

    I found her irresistible!

  27. blahblahGirl

    I’ve always had a thing for this bitch. She’s hot and naturally, not make up baby and hot body too.

  28. Michelle Rodriguez Bikini Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Guys, she isn’t a lesbian..she’s bisexual…so even better :D

  29. Michelle Rodriguez Bikini Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    this is where the term “BUTTERFACE” came from

  30. Michelle Rodriguez Bikini Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s been consistently confusing my boners since Grilfight; there’s nothing bad I could or would say about her at this point.

  31. Michelle Rodriguez Bikini Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    the only dick she is going to have is mine….

  32. Michelle Rodriguez Bikini Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    I have always wondered why she is in acting….I am still wondering. What an dumb waste of space she is

  33. Michelle Rodriguez Bikini Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m not gonna lie to you guys; I would if she doesn’t kick the shit out of me first.

  34. Michelle Rodriguez Bikini Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    well i think tht entire siaottiun cud hav bin avoided if u had avoided the ex-gf.tht was like totally an ambush.u wudve enjoyed ur night and the kiss mightve bin more enjoyable,cuz u wudve bin relaxed.and if it still had turned out the same way.yall mightve jus laffed it off.seraly

  35. Michelle Rodriguez Bikini Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    i can lick it all day long

  36. Michelle Rodriguez Bikini Cannes
    Larry Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Love me some Michelle Rodriguez. She can sex you up and then kick your teeth down your throat. Very hot.

  37. I find it very interesting to see the conflicts with people on this site. I’m the founder of MRod’s Army, so of course I’m a huge supporter of her’s. Now I could take part in bashing a few of you. I’m been a member of The Official fan-site since before Michelle Rodriguez made it Official. She’s actually not bisexual, but I won’t waste time arguing that obvious point. Fantasies burn brighter in people’s minds then truth. Always a naturally beautiful woman. On Momi’s comment. It is the way the internet works. Of course you will have socially inappropriate comments on pages like this. You can’t get worked up over that. You are a fan, but others are not. I used to verbally battle with people on the internet. I used to find comments like the one above about her having a hairy asshole, But lets be real. It isn’t like they actually know her personally. They’re atrocious and their comments are enough proof to accept how idiotic they are. You don’t have to point it out, we know. She had actually stated in an interview that in High School she did infact experiment with women, but realized it just wasn’t for her. Plus youtube has the rumor fix clip of her saying,” I’m not a lesbian…YEAH!!!, Mitchy likes sausage.”

  38. Rushing through I made a spelling error or two, sorry.

  39. Michelle Rodriguez Bikini Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    One word: Gastrocnemius.

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