Michelle Rodriguez in a Bikini

The Superficial / May 16, 2011

“Hmm. Needs more tank top…”

Here’s Michelle Rodriguez at Eden Roc in France yesterday proving she could probably beat the shit out of every actress in Hollywood, if not 75% of the dudes. Seriously, when she’s not cliff-diving, she’s scaling the goddamn walls to swing from a rope and flash her buttcrack at everyone within sight. It’s like looking at the Rambo of bikini photos. I’m amazed the last shot isn’t Brian Dennehy being wheeled off on a stretcher.

MICHELLE: We were in this bar in Saigon and this kid comes up, this kid carrying a shoe-shine box. And he says “Shine, please, shine!” I said no. He kept askin’, yeah, and Joey said, “Yeah.” And I went to get a couple of beers, and the box was wired, and he opened up the box, fucking blew his body all over the place. And he’s laying there, he’s fucking screaming. There’s pieces of him all over me, just like this, and I’m tryin’ to pull him off, you know, my friend that’s all over me! I’ve got blood and everything and I’m tryin’ to hold him together! I’m puttin’… the guy’s fuckin’ insides keep coming out! And nobody would help! Nobody would help! He’s saying, sayin’ “I wanna go home! I wanna go home!” He keeps calling my name! “I wanna go home, Michelle! I wanna drive my Chevy!” I said “With what? I can’t find your fuckin’ legs! I can’t find your legs!”
FRIEND: … This is why I don’t drink with you anymore. Also, the drunk driving.
MICHELLE: They drew first blood, not me. *pukes into a croissant*

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, INFdaily, Splash News