Why.. Why Is The First Lady Dancing With A Turnip? Were We Attacked?

As a filthy libtard, I don’t consider the First Lady of the United States encouraging kids to eat their vegetables a vast government overreach that needs to be fought back with diabetic child patriots stuffed to the gills with cookies and sugar water. Jesus Christ, George Bush let Arnold Schwarzenegger force us all to do chin-ups in the 90s – *twitches* Why can the girls do more than me?! *twitches again* – and yet, “Hey, maybe eat some greens,” is apparently how Hitler got started. That said, I don’t who the fuck told Michelle Obama to get on Vine and do a turnip rap, but that person needs to be fired. Yes, everybody is talking about it, but not in the context of, “You know what? I should eat more vegetables.” Although, if your child is going, “Yay, turnips!” being handicapped makes them more special. You’ve been given a gift.


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