Michelle Duggar Pregnant With 20th Baby
Michelle Duggar and her last baby – number 19, by the way – barely survived the pregnancy, so of course she let her husband cram another one into her 45-year-old uterus. Because, seriously, what the hell else is she going to do?
Raise the other 19 kids. Think for herself and not let him use her birth canal as a Jesus Cannon? AHAHAHA! Healthy and non-submissive reproduction. You kids say the cutest things. TODAY reports:
The kids thought family patriarch Jim Bob was joking when he broke the news that they would have a new brother or sister, Michelle said. They lined the family up on the staircase for a photo, she recalled, and Jim Bob said, “Smile — Mom’s going to have another baby!”
“Their mouths dropped,” Michelle said, laughing at the memory. “They all looked at me to see if he was joking.”
Jackson, age 7, immediately started rooting for another boy. They’ll find out the gender around Christmas, Michelle told TODAY Moms.
Jim Bob told TODAY Moms that he’s thrilled for their 20th child. “Michelle and I both feel like some of the most blessed parents in the world. Our children are so sweet… we are so grateful to God.”
And, he adds, “We didn’t want to stop on an odd number.”
“Hey, dad, why was I born?”
“Because odd numbers are the work of Satan, son.”
That should go over well. But on a serious note, sincere kudos to TLC for making the most fucked up, insane form of spousal abuse a sugar-coated reality show that glosses over the fact these people are essentially Nazis for Jesus. And don’t Godwin’s law me, because the Duggars belong to the Quiverfull movement which on top of treating women as nothing more than perpetual baby oven housewives who can’t cut their hair (Yup.), preaches continually reproducing so large Christian families eventually become the majority and can marginalize heathen shitbags like myself who don’t continually knock up women because an invisible friend told me to. So if you take one thing away from this post it’s this: Jim Bob Duggar’s cock is Hitler.
Warn the allies.