A U.S. Congresswoman Believes The Biblical End Times Have Started Because Obama

October 8th, 2013 // 153 Comments
Michele Bachmann
Where Is The Devil?
Antonin Scalia
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Continuing our series of Pointing Out The Crazy, Outdated Superstitions of The People Who Decide Our Laws, here’s Michele Bachmann telling Christian radio show Understanding The Times that the events in the Book of Revelation are happening in real life because Barack Obama armed Al Qaeda except he didn’t, at all. But that’s entirely irrelevant because, again, here’s an elected government official whose decisions impact the lives of millions saying her professional opinion is that we’re about to literally witness four supernatural horsemen descend from seven seals in the heavens before a beast borne of the earth and with horns of a lamb forces humanity to bear its mark, a.k.a. “Obamacare.”

“This happened and as of today the United States is willingly, knowingly, intentionally sending arms to terrorists, now what this says to me, I’m a believer in Jesus Christ, as I look at the End Times scripture, this says to me that the leaf is on the fig tree and we are to understand the signs of the times, which is your ministry, we are to understand where we are in God’s end times history.”
“Rather than seeing this as a negative, we need to rejoice, Maranatha Come Lord Jesus, His day is at hand,” Bachmann continued. “When we see up is down and right is called wrong, when this is happening, we were told this; these days would be as the days of Noah.”

And if this just seems like the harmless beliefs of a deeply spiritual woman who just happens to get to decide who you can marry, what you can do with your uterus, and how big of an arsenal you can have lying around to defend your love of Jesus from jackbooted thugs working for the Beast, keep in mind, it’s also the impetus of Earl Conlon and his band of truckers that plans to block traffic into DC and arrest politicians. Oh, yeah:

Brother Conlon is quite a piece of work, as the Tea Party Command Center (!) message board makes quite clear.

Reply by Earl Conlon yesterday:i’ve always believed Obama to be the Anti Christ from the day i first laid eyes one him.. not to mention the dreams i have had for the past 15 years showing me a man in office who i’ve never heard of before. then comes 2008 and the dreams get more detailed and intense… you figure it out..maybe i am crazy?

But, of course, this guy is crazy for acting on his belief that Obama is the Antichrist and gridlocking Washington while Michele Bachmann is simply exercising her rights as an American by acting on those beliefs to make it illegal for you to have consensual sex without procreating. There’s a difference. Somehow.

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. elephantman

    Whats up with the old guy looking down her shirt! HAHA Classic!

    • JC

      Old guy is silently wondering if Obamacare will pay for some blue pills.

    • Jake

      He didn’t rush up the cliffs of Normandy for nothin!

    • Hey give some respect to that WW2 Veteran.Due to Bat Shit crazy Bachmann and GOP no parks or public institutions are open. So at least give the old timer his due by grabbing/good long stare at conservative boobies or an old fashion conservative HJ from that Bitch. Bitch be nice !

      • The parks aren’t open because there’s no money to open them, barring some agreement in congress to authorize even more deficit spending then they agreed to last time around. Congress has the sole power on our form of government to spend money. Congress is and has been for many years controlled by the Democrat party. Republicans agreed to increase the debt limit last time in return for the dems agreement to cut spending so we can bring the deficit under control. The dems failed to uphold their end of that agreement.

      • Okay, just so we’re clear: you’re blaming the Democrats for the shutdown?

        Are you seriously that fucking deluded?

      • spoken like a true ‘Merican who has no concrete grasp of the function of Congress. I’d quote the actual appropriations language, or point out that they are just authorizing the US to spend money Congress itself has already approved, but schmitty there won’t read more than Ted Cruz’ twitter feed, so it’s sort of pointless.

      • me

        Hey genius, why do you think there is a separate appropriations/budgeting process in the first place?

        The whole shebang is fubar. I despise Repugligans as mush as the rest of them. This rubber stamp meme, along with the Democrats-are-good-guys schtick, is no help.
        If representative, federal government were going to work here (which it doesn’t nor will it), it would contain an element of deliberation, negotiation and accountability. Those calling to “just fund it already” are unthinking boobs. Period.

        As for the post we are supposed to be commenting on: Har har. Yes, she is a delusional asshole. So is anybody who clings to the fantasy that we have a federal republic with effective representation of 300 million people.

      • TeaBAGGER alert: “Democrat party”. Simpleton childish use by CHILDISH teabaggers and other various rightwing reactionary republicans shit-for-brains (isn’t the term “rightwing reactionary republican” and “shit-for-brains” redundant?) use of “democrat” rather than “democratIC” party is their wierd CHILDISH way of somehow IN THEIR minds denigrating the Democratic party. Someone clue me in on the CHILDISH mindset?

      • Totally…I mean, it’s not like we were in the biggest period of deficit reduction since WWII before the sequester or anything… /snark

        You’re a fucking idiot

      • As far as the deficits are concerned, the Republicans can truly claim “We built that.” The deficit more than doubled under Reagan, and close to tripled under Bush with an unfunded Medicare prescription mandate, two unfunded wars costing us trillions (still) and the Bush tax cuts favoring the wealthy and starving the treasury. Right now the Republicans are flouting the Constitution and trying the PR tactic of “blaming” President Obama because they refuse to abide by the law. They should be tried for treason.

  2. All this uproar because a black guy wants to give poor people health insurance.

    GIVE IT UP YOU LUNATICS. The swing vote on the Supreme Court was your boy John Roberts. That must sting almost as bad as getting your clock cleaned by a black guy in two straight presidential elections.

    • you do understand that ‘the black guy’ isn’t giving anything to anybody, he’s authorizing the IRS to take money from people who earned it but don’t generally vote for his political party so he can use those people’s money to buy shit for the people who do vote for his party. If that still seems like a reasonable proposition to you, I’ll come by after work, empty your wallet, buy a bunch of booze and cocaine, and me & your old lady can have a good old time while you watch. No coke for you though, you just get to pay for it.

      • you do understand that ‘president of the united states’ means of every American citizen, not ‘President of American Citizens who vote Democrat’?

        you do realize that Democrats have to abide by what a Republican says when he is in power?

        you do know that a soldier isn’t allowed to say ‘nope, didn’t vote for the guy’ when ordered to go on a mission?

      • Melissa

        So if I do vote for the democratic party, the IRS won’t be taking MY tax money to help pay for insurance subsidies and expanded Medicaid? Wow, I didn’t realize how good I have it.

      • Jake

        Congress, both houses, passed the Affordable Care Act. Congress makes laws. The Black guy just signs them.

      • you missed the fact that not one single congressman or woman who is NOT a member of the democrat party voted in favor of this law.

      • close, schmitty, but predictably wrong. do you ever get anything correct?

        The newly amended bill eventually passed the House of Representatives at 11:19 PM EST on Saturday, November 7, 2009, by a vote of 220-215. The bill passed with support of the majority of Democrats, together with one Republican who voted only after the necessary 218 votes had already been cast. Thirty-nine Democrats voted against the bill. All members of the House voted, and none voted “present”.[24]

      • Nicely done sir. A sincere, not snarky, golf clap to you.

      • And the Supreme Court upheld it. So trying to gut it now as a precondition for a budget is BULLSHIT

      • If the ACA authorizes the buying for cocaine and booze then I say way to go Barrack!

      • If he’d played up that aspect of the ACA, I’d have voted for him.

      • Fuck, if they included OxyContin and hydrocodone, so would Rush Limbaugh.

      • “schmidtler’s” plane of reality is created from IT masturbating while listening to scum limbaugh while drooling uncontrollably.

  3. JC

    On the plus side, if you dress up in robes, go to her house, and distract her with a modern piece of technology–like a glow stick–she’ll believe you’re the Archangel Garbriel, and she’ll let you do her in the butt.

    And I would.

  4. Cock Dr

    Yeah, she and that husband of hers are of the christian “batshit crazy” denomination.
    Thanks Michele for doing your small part to ensure that the GOP never wins another national election.

    • I sent flowers the first time. Perhaps a nice basket of fruit from the Holy Land this time around?

      • Fundies go nuts for locusts and honey. Maybe throw in some figs for good measure.

      • Wow, I really like the locust idea! What do you think – chocolate covered, or just alive and kicking?

      • Cock Dr

        The success or failure of our democracy depends on the intelligence of the people walking into those election booths.
        Since so many of the people who participate consistently in elections seem motivated by fundamental religious zealotry and will deny basic truths like evolution I fear our way of government may be doomed to failure.
        Oh well. The world is warming and that makes Canada more appealing.

      • But they play football all wrong! Although they have poutine and legal weed, so maybe it cancels out.

      • Fuck the legal weed, it’s fries, gravy, cheese curd and, if you’re extra good, sometimes an egg on top. That alone cancels out the entire NFL.

      • Fuck yeah, Canada’s appealing. Avoid Ontario though. Our provincial government has spent us into the poorhouse over the last twelve or so years. The east coast is super-nice, though.

  5. teddy

    So what, we don’t come here for political rhetoric.. just post hot celebrity nip slips and keep your political views to yourself.

    • Sadly, teddy is mentally challenged, and is incapable of understanding that a post about congressional lunacy that contains big, scary ideas does not take away from a nip slip slot, or that they do not exactly happen every hour on the hour. He is also totally incapable of finding any of the (no less than four, mind you) other posts on this site today that display the very tits that he called for, as well as other evidence of female pulchritude (5 if you count Britney Spears, but it’s a stretch). So naturally he knows he is a perfect candidate to dictate what the blog writer should choose to post!

      Stomp your little feet, teddy, so the blog fairy will hear you! Stomp! Stomp away!

    • Hey Fella, Are You George Zimmerman?

      Ah, Teddy? You obviously don’t come on this site very often. The Fish is more poliitcal than Huffington, sans the tits.

  6. amcb

    Monument, Veteran, AND a Lens flare. The great white buffalo of Photo Ops.

  7. White-trash-that’s-afraid-of-a-black-man says what?

  8. Nwambe

    Fish, not to be an ass or anything, but I’ve got a nice, quiet apartment in Canada. You and Photo Boy are welcome to hang out here until that whole storm of idiocy blows over.

  9. When is the intellectual wing of the Republican Party going to break away from these Tea Party loonies?

    • Isn’t William F. Buckley dead?
      Heh heh, you used Intellectuals and Republicans in the same sentence

    • “Intellectual wing of the Rebublican Pary”

      LOL!

    • The really ironic part is that Barry Goldwater saw this coming and warned them – sadly, the collective Republican memory these days stops at Reagan.

      • Goldwater used to be considered the loony in his day. I imagine that a real conservative would be happy to be able to vote for someone like him now.

        I mean who does someone like PJ O’Rourke vote for these days? Fiscally conservative, but socially liberal, and faith is something between you and God. Who is on the political horizon that you can even stomach?

      • “Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice”
        That’s a little loony…opens up a lot of possibilities

      • CsirhC

        Rand Paul

      • Rand Paul? That’s certainly an interesting choice. Not a sane choice, mind you, but an interesting one.

    • JC

      I’m sure they’re afraid of losing whatever voting power the fringe brings in, or at least what voting power they think it brings in. Assuming that there are more voters who are horrified by the nutters than there are nutters themselves, it’s a risk calculation they very well may end up regretting. Pretending that brown people don’t exist and don’t vote also isn’t helping.

  10. It’s cute that Michele thinks that the US have never armed terrorists before. Three words: Iran Contra Affair. America has a long and proud history of funding and arming terrible people. We funded Pol Pot for crying out loud.

    • Silly, Iran Contra was REAGAN. Reagan could do no wrong.

      • I know. I just love the selective “facts” being presented these days. I mean, some random old dude had a dream 15 years ago about a guy he didn’t know. It proves that OBAMA IS A WITCH! BURN HIM! Intelligent debate. Sigh.

    • Hey Fella, Are You George Zimmerman?

      The US i responsible for Saddam Hussein. This chick obviously doesn’t follow history much.

      • Oh, you have no idea. The revisionism and the outright inaccuracies that make up her idea of “history” are mind-boggling.

        In New Hampshire: “You’re the state where the shot was heard around the world at Lexington and Concord.”
        Uh, no – that was Massachusetts. She made that error twice in one day, so her staff isn’t any too well educated, either.

        “The people who came to the United States…all of us have the same story. And our story is, we come from someone who was a risk taker in their home country; doesn’t matter what the country is….They were coming here for the thrill of writing their own ticket.”
        Well, “risk takers” other than people who had no choice, like slaves, convicts, indentured servants, press gang refugees and exiled bankrupts, that is.

        “The very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.”
        Jefferson and many other founders owned slaves, and all of them were dead long before Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation.

        “if you look at one of our Founding Fathers, John Quincy Adams…he tirelessly worked throughout his life to make sure that we did in fact one day eradicate slavery.”
        While Adams was indeed an abolitionist, he died almost 20 years before slavery was abolished. And since he was only nine years old when the Declaration was signed, he wasn’t a candidate for Founding Fatherhood.

        “…the recession that FDR had to deal with wasn’t as bad as the recession Coolidge had to deal with in the early ’20s. Yet, the prescription that Coolidge put on that, from history, is lower taxes, lower regulatory burden, and we saw the roaring ’20s where we saw markets and growth in the economy like we never seen before in the history of the country. FDR applied just the opposite formula — the Hoot-Smalley Act, which was a tremendous burden on tariff restrictions, and then, of course, trade barriers and the regulatory burden and tax barriers. That’s what we saw happen under FDR. That took a recession and blew it into a full-scale depression.”
        It’s actually the Smoot-Hawley Act, and FDR still didn’t pass it – Hoover, a Republican, did, three years before FDR took office. The recession during the Coolidge admin was also nowhere near as bad as the Great Depression, and since the stock market had already crashed in ’28, ushering in bank runs, unemployment and a worldwide economic depression, FDR’s New Deal certainly didn’t create it, either.

  11. leila

    i know this is repetitive, but it’s just so apt: BATSHIT CRAZY BITCH.
    unfortunately, i don’t think the anti-christ thing is some narrow fringe. there are a significant number of stupid, selfish, piece of shit racist assholes who actually believe this and circulate this kind of shit in their bible study groups.
    disagree with his politics, be a republican, whatever. but this antichrist, end of times bullshit is fucking insane.

    • Jake

      That the problem with politics now. It’s such a shitty job, the only people signing up for the shitty jobs are bat-shit crazy fame whores who think they are on a mission form God.

  12. It’s the book of Revelation. Not plural.

  13. It’s officially starting to get scary.

  14. This is woman is so fucking stupid and so fucking crazy it is pathetic. You really have to wonder how fucked up and dumb her constituents have to be to put someone like this in office.

    I mean you have your normal Republicans like McCain or Romney that I can deal with and then you have this psycho fringe element like Bachmann and Allen West that are downright scary.

    • Yeah, I don’t get it.. Those assholes love her, and this is pretty liberal state. She also gets a lot of outside money for her campaign because people need the fucking crazy aunt/uncle in the family and they don’t want that person to be from their district.

      Fortunately, she’s not running again. I’m thinking the burgeoning campaign finance issues are forcing her out.

  15. AteIsEnough

    Is it just me, or does anyone else want to do her in the butt?

    • Rico Jones

      I’d like to nail her right in the ass just so I can drag her to hell with me for committing sodomy.

      • I think she has to be willing for it to be a sin that’ll send her to hell. Wear a robe and a beard and tell her that Earl Conlon sent you – and if you show up with a 6 pack of 100W incandescent light bulbs, you won’t even need lube.

    • Some coworkers and I went through pics of congresswomen to find the most bangable and there are some slim fuckin’ pickings, dude. Bachmann isn’t too bad. I mean, she’s a fuck ton more bangable than Nancy fuckin’ Pelosi. Kristi Noem rom SoDak is pretty bangable.

      • Jake

        Gabby Giffords has a couple more holes than the average congresswoman, so there’s that.

      • I don’t know about Bachmann’s ass, it seems like she’s always wearing dresses that hide it. But you guys have at it and I’ll do her in the mouth. (WAIT A SEC…Stupidity isn’t considered an STD, is it?)

    • Skeeter

      Absolutely. I’d like a chance to drill her in the butt and cover her face with my seed. She’s crazy, but not bad looking at all for her age. I’ve jacked it while watching her on tv a couple times (granted, those were slow days but…).

  16. AMERICA is the biggest arms dealer on earth!!!
    Has been for a long time.

  17. If these End Times nuts are so eager to meet Jeebus, fucking GO already.

    I know suicide is a mortal sin to these fanatics, but that doesn’t mean they can’t stop taking their meds or “accidentally” walk too close to a cliff edge or something.

  18. fuckin insane.
    president greg stillson is ready n waitin by the button!
    halleluiah!

  19. Hugh G. Rection

    She may be batshit crazy but she eats a corndog better than anybody in the world.

    http://www.businessinsider.com/michele-bachmann-corndog-picture-2011-8

  20. Bob Vila

    Keep this liberal crap to yourself. What a shitty, unfunny site this has become. Let’s look at the national debt and remove 7 zero’s, to compare to how a household budget may look:

    Annual family income: $217,000
    Money the family spent: $382,000
    New debt on the credit card: $165,000
    Outstanding balance on the credit card: $1,427,100

    Now tell me we don’t have a fucking spending problem? Let’s just keep asking for more credit and run deeper in the hole and spend more money.

    • Macroeconomics and microeconomics are two wildly different things.

    • Hugh G. Rection

      Republicans spend like drunken sailors when they don’t have a democratic president to blame. When they had both houses of congress and the White House they took a budget surplus and turned it into a historic deficit. They said “Deficits don’t matter”. TARP was signed by a republican president after republican reckless deregulation trashed the economy.

      • republican reckless deregulation is not what trashed the economy, the housing / mortgage bubble bursting is what led to that. forcing banks to write bad mortgages to traditionally unqualified borrowers to increase minority & low income home ownership was a policy born under slick willie & a democrat controlled congress. spending wildly on the Iraq war was all on Bush, and that was no help either though, so yeah, all of them share some blame.

      • Hugh G. Rection

        More Fox News propaganda. No bank ever lent a penny they didn’t think they could make money from. And again they had the white house and both houses for six years before the collapse but of course blame the democrats.

      • CsirhC

        The banks knew they could make money from the sub-prime loans because Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were effectively required by the government to purchase them from the originating banks who made all their money off of the fees and closing costs.

      • Actually, Fannie and Freddie were not allowed to directly participate in sub-prime loans at all. The only sub-prime risks they held were a small number of Alt-A loans, which should have been safe but were susceptible to broker-level fraud. The vast majority of their sub-prime losses came through the purchase of mortgage-based securities that were packaged by investment banks and given high ratings by ratings agencies, effectively hiding the sub-prime component and the actual risks of the securities. Granted, higher-ups at Fannie and Freddie knew that these securities held some sub-primes, but they justified the purchases because they were AAA rated and the actual % of sub-primes could not be determned. In short, this WAS a deregulation problem.

      • On the other hand, it was a more creative bitch than “you’re depriving us of tits” – this one came right out against “liberal crap”. It’s an absolute blessing that conservatives like Bachmann know that photos of tits and skimpy bikinis are proof of the end times, and will do everything in their power to protect ol’ Bob Vila from it.

    • Bob Vila

      I don’t hear answers to our problems, just finger pointing and whining like typical politicians. Shut up unless you have an answer. I’m not saying that the GOP is perfect by any means.

      • How about this for an answer – congress can’t run up any new debts until they come up with a plan to balance the budget. oh wait, that’s exactly what the republicans are insisting on right now.
        If your wife maxed out your credit card, and told you your kids won’t get dinner or clothes for school because you are such an asshole you wouldn’t just agree to let her open another credit card account to charge more stuff she has no idea how to actually pay for, would you consider her argument to be valid?

      • Bob Vila

        If she had been running up debt for a decade, I would have cut her ass off, divorced her and made sure my kids had a future by spending what I can.

      • Hey Fella, Are You George Zimmerman?

        Ha, Ha. The jokes on you. My wifes too busy scrubbing the floors with a toothbrush, and why and the hell would I let her out of the house to shop?

      • Hey you dick-less wonder. What’s happening now is more like you and your wife made your vows and got married. Then you both decided to renew your vows since it’s been 20 years and you want to celebrate, except now you, the jackass of the world, want to make preconditions on those vows, like, you want her to let you bring the dog into the marital bed and hump you like Armageddon is around the corner(which you also probably believe because you read a bronze-age book of fairy tales about it). She just wants to renew her vows, but you refuse to budge and wont even go to work to help pay for food and the mortgage until she relents, and lets rover take over.

        Well guess what, it ain’t gonna happen . Obama fell for all that Bipartisan crap the conservatards threw at him and he actually MADE CONCESSIONS in the past. He wont now and you wont get any dog dick up your poop chute.

      • Bob Vila

        Wow, a poor little sheep just like all the rest. No surprise that you spend all day on cute sites like this leaving elaborate comments. Get a job and contribute to the system, loser.

      • BAA! (You still don’t understand economics though.)

      • Bob Vila

        I was a business major and had three courses in Econ, so I do get the basics. You can argue all day and night that macro isn’t the same as micro and that’s fine. The original point is we’ve got a ridiculous deficit. I don’t care which retards in government caused it, the outlandish spending needs to be stopped.

      • Jay

        Let’s be honest, these Republican idiot’s still think it was Reagan’s economic’s that caused the first surplus during Clinton’s years

      • Bush inherited a budget SURPLUS from Clinton. Please learn some marcroeconomics.

    • Dr. JFever

      Stick to 2×4′s Bob.

  21. Am I the only one that pictures her husband bounding around the house doing toe kicks and shouting random phrases like the bald, fake typing guy from “Airplane” ?

  22. *SIGH*
    I was SURE this was going to be a nipple slip after the jump.

  23. lol

    now why would elements within our government want to fund and support radical islamists to overthrow a government,,,,,,could it be syria’s planned oil pipelines with Iran and new mediteranian terminal , ,or friendly saudi arabia wanting to shut down the competition, international energy corps. who want in just as with iraq, new territory for israel, big bucks and no bid contracts off of weapons,and the replacing destroyed infrastructure, the ensuring of the dollar as the world standard currency etc?,
    anything that gets the job done and the fortune won

  24. PassingTrue

    Perhaps Tom Browkaw can stop by to explain to the “Greatest Generation” how they can’t enter an open air park that is usually open 24 hrs a day unattended. Oh, and please avert your eyes from the Washington Monument, its closed.

  25. cc

    America…you are as baffling as ever.

  26. Does anyone NOT see hoe these pinheads are right in line with the Taliban and Al Qaeda pinheads? Same dopey crap, different god and all the normal people have to suffer

    • Rasputin's Evil Twin

      Grigori and I are just about ready to give up, retire and hand the evil business over to the GOP. We’re old and tired; how can we match this shit?

      We’ll be at the bar, again

  27. Greg Olsen

    Ugh, this website is so much better when it’s not being used as a soapbox.

    • ReaganDiedinDiapers

      So you agree with Bachmann that an invisible space wizard is coming to cull everybody?

    • Ugh, this website is so much better when the guy standing behind em with a gun forcing em to read every article is in the bathroom.

      • Dox

        Ugh, this site is so much better when I’m baked…er…for medicinal purposes…. I have a card, NSA…. … …

        brb, knock at the door.

  28. gigi

    oh my….. how does this heffer even have a job?

  29. Dr. JFever

    Used to know an old woman that belonged to a Mormon church offshoot. She lived across the street from the church cemetery and every once in awhile would ‘hear’ God tell that that night was when she’d be beamed up to heaven. Her family would find her in the morning in the cemetery in her nightgown & robe with her suitcase of stuff to take with her.

    This is crazy eyes Bachmann’s future after a stint in Club Fed.

    FYI the old woman had a massive heart attack in the Kmart parking lot and was dead before the EMS even arrived.

    • I’ll bet she didn’t have her suitcase with her that last time, either. God can be such a prankster.

      • OK, so even though you can’t take it with you, I can sort of get over the notion of packing a suitcase for the hereafter – there is the valid fear that they might not have your favorite cookies, and you don’t want to be without the family photos to share with all the dead relatives who are waiting for you. But really, who the hell wants to show up in heaven wearing a nightie?

      • If there aren’t frozen Reese’s Cups all over the place, I don’t see how anyone could call it heaven anyway.

      • Maybe it was Underwear Night on Cloud 9.

  30. Dox

    “Its like I told you guys, this guy in the wheelchair can Identify all four horsemen! See, I am NOT crazy!”

  31. Colin

    All I have to say is, as a DC resident, A) DC didn’t vote for these freakshows, y’all did, and B) those truckers had better not make me late for school or I will cut a bitch.

  32. Chris

    As crazy as she is, what does it say about the folks who keep electing her?

  33. Margaret

    Bat Shit Crazy apocalyptica. Thank Dormammu this generation of God Crazy no-tech ignorant mummies is dying off.

  34. JakeDS

    So here is the problem with these posts on this site. There is no intelligent debate here. Just a bunch of close minded people patting themselves on the back because someone else agrees with them. Fish is a fucking idiot. His job is to poke fun at celebrities, yet he believes he knows the best way to run a fucking country. Nothing in this comment section has anything of substance and is a reminder that the general populace would rather get their news from a damn celebrity blog site than reading fucking books. I’m out. It was fun while it lasted Superficial. Feel free to flame, as that is what is expected of people who have no real argument on something they are ignorant of.

    • TRANSLATION:
      “Fish is a fucking idiot. His job is to poke fun at celebrities, yet he believes he knows the best way to run a fucking country.” = I come here for tits and gossip, and also see a post ridiculing a sitting member of Congress for believing that the world is due to end soon. I don’t like pairing up looking at tits with any other ideas, and I’m also guiltily reminded that Jesus could take me with my pants down if the Rapture comes when I’m on this site. This scares me, so I accuse Fish of trying to run an entire country when he is actually pointing out an extremist element in a major political country that several other popular sites are also calling attention to.

      Nothing in this comment section has anything of substance and is a reminder that the general populace would rather get their news from a damn celebrity blog site than reading fucking books. = I could easily counter any of the arguments I disagree with if I wanted to, but you’re all just too ignorant and I just can’t be bothered to educate you right now. Yes. I don’t actually read any of those books I refereed to, and don’t have a really clear idea of what they might be anyway (other than The Bible), but since none of the commenters hold my views, you’re all going to Hell.

      I’m out. It was fun while it lasted Superficial. Feel free to flame, as that is what is expected of people who have no real argument on something they are ignorant of. = Since you refuse to conform to my demands to stop posting content that bothers me and not a single person has written a comment I agree with, I will make a loud noise as I stomp out and slam the door loudly behind me so everyone will be sure to notice how horribly deprived they’ll be of my company. This will show them, although they will still all be going to Hell for their ignorance and bad arguments. Which I could totally refute easily if I really wanted to.

    • Who gets their news from books? People who like to be at least two years behind current events?

    • JakeDS

      Personal attacks. Still no intellectual debate, justifiable. Nice try, though. I also don’t believe in God, but it’s always fun to see a liberal judge people.

      • It’s tricky to get the last word in AND quit coming back to the site.

      • JakeDS

        Still nothing………..

      • Last word. NO TAGBACKS!

      • As much as I hate to wreck Phil’s nicely timed closing post, your actually posting “still nothing” in a 14 minute window tells me all I really need to know about you and your sense of self-importance. That’s also one of the best laughs I’ve had all night.

        “Still no intellectual debate”? Guess you missed pretty much every one of my posts, upthread, although my comment on the tenor of Phil’s wet dreams could be considered a slight exaggeration in that department. And while we’re speaking of “intellectual debate”, offering up wholesale condemnation of every post here due to everyone’s “ignorance” without specifying just why everyone is coming up short doesn’t begin to qualify. As for your bemusement over “liberals judging people”, the “liberals” here at least gave some pretty cogent reasons for their criticism, unlike, oh, gee, let’s say….you.

        Based on that, I figure I earned the right to make fun of your having absolutely no game, but still poncing about like you somehow lead the league in scoring. If you insist on making yourself ridiculous, people do tend to notice.

        Your turn, cupcake.

      • JakeDS

        Sure, I’ll bite. You obviously have a gift for writing, but your satire falls short in justifying (no pun intended) your position on a lot of things. You attack your fellow Americans with complete disdain and disgust because their views differ from yours. How dare Bachmann worship a deity that you don’t believe in. How dare a Christian be in public office. How dare people oppose abortion. How dare people argue against higher taxes.

        I spend a vast amount of my time buried in books on history and politics and none of what is going on is novel. The left is always trying to impose it’s will on others and blame everyone else as being fascistic when the opposite is true.

        Sure, I’m conservative. Do I believe in gay marriage? Yes. Do I approve of abortion? Yes, although I think a vast amount of Americans are uninformed of the actual methods involved, and I sincerely believe that Progressives intentionally keep it so because the process is so very gory. I have no place to tell others what to do, though, nor do I feel enlightened enough to do so. Is it so bad to expect the same? This is not a fucking game, and the public is being seriously misled and pitted against one another and it has a lot to do with hate-mongers such as yourself.

        When people with loud voices, such as yourself, go out of your way to demonize others it is irresponsible and unhealthy for our country and citizenry. The hypocrisy is that you criticize Bachmann’s character because you are offended that she criticized someone else’s.

        Being Athiest, I recognize the good that religion can accomplish. Sure it may have issues, but there are problems that can be had for non-believers who have no fear of a horrible afterlife. What of the Muslim religion? Are you so adamantly opposed to that belief?

        Quite frankly, I have visited The Superficial nearly every day for years and am not offended by touching base on current political events, but by the sheer disgust that is portrayed for the other side of the conversation. I have made educated decisions on many of my principles. I regularly listen to progressive talk radio to get other opinions. I relish political debate, although it rarely happens due to people getting angry and wanting to move away from the topic or, simply, attack the other.

        It’s not just the left. It’s not just the right. It is an ever growing population of people who are unwilling to “waste” the time on researching politics, be it bills, tax increases, or presidential elections, but are more than willing to throw down a vote. I’ve done it in the past and will NEVER do it again. Every vote I make is researched and calculated. If the current administration wasn’t so fixated on turning this country on it’s head, I would not even have a problem with Obama.

      • If you actually possessed any reading comprehension, you’d see my disdain and disgust for Michele Bachmann is because she’s completely ignorant of the basics of American history, unashamedly revises what little of it she can grasp to suit her party’s political agenda, and is blatantly invested in doing her damnedest to turn this country into a “Christian nation” while denying a large number of its citizens of their civil rights. None of these things is acceptable, and I honestly don’t give a good goddamn if she’s a “fellow American” or not, since that shouldn’t afford her any special privileges. And when it comes to the first two objections, more is required of her as an American, not to mention an elected official, to correctly represent her country’s history rather than just outright making up shit because she’s so delusional she thinks no one can tell the difference.

        Furthermore, in all the time I’ve posted here, have I ever condemned Christians (or Muslims, Jews, Hindus, Catholics, Sikhs or whatever the fuck) by claiming they have no right to hold public office, nor have I ever claimed they have no right to exercise their freedom of worship, defined their religion as zombie-worshipping or spaghetti monster superstition, or indeed, anything else in that vein. If you’re going to pull a Bachmann and just make up shit to support a losing argument, you could at least put forth some effort to make your claims somewhat believable. And for the record, I haven’t said one fucking word about Bachmann’s charge of Obama arming Al Qaeda, so your little fantasy that I’m totes outraged that she criticized the president first so I’m gunning for payback, making me a hypocrite, falls apart from sheer lameness. BTW, if you spend as much time buried in books as you claim, it’s long past time that you learned that the possessive of “it” is “its”.

        When people with loud voices, such as yourself, go out of your way to demonize others it is irresponsible and unhealthy for our country and citizenry. Oh damn, how dare I “demonize” anyone for criticizing their abysmal knowledge of history, their equally poor grasp of the fact that this government is not a theocracy, and their possibly imperfect understanding of the religion they use to judge others by, while trying to infuse it into the government and inflict it on anyone they come into contact with. Funny how no one in the nest of Liberals that have commented here have suggested that your speech ought to be stifled because they, in turn, find it disturbing, or that Bachmann herself should be impeached. The only person who’s objected along those lines would be…let’s see…you. The same one who claimed the left are really the Fascists.

        Really, you need to stop the bullshit, because in actuality you “relish” political debate like Ron Paul relishes shaking hands with homosexuals. It’s nice that you research and calculate before you vote, but you suffer from a massive amount of self-deception by claiming in one breath that of course you don’t have the right to tell people what to do, since you don’t feel enlightened enough, and in the next decrying anyone who makes a decision that you don’t approve for not properly educating themselves.

        Case in point: no one actually “approves” of abortion, so your little conspiracy theory that “Progressives” deliberately keep the oh-so-very-gory details under wraps, because if people knew what was involved they would allow themselves to be so “seriously misled” about it is for shit, since it’s actually a not-too cleverly disguised version of the argument that 1) women really have no idea what’s involved when it comes to their bodies, let alone being pro-choice, so all they need is to be better educated and they’d know better and think twice about getting pregnant because “it’s not a fucking game”. The inevitable conclusion to that one is always that we should simpky outlaw abortion because women should just have the babies God gives them while being revered and protected from having to bear the burden of possibly making up their own minds in the wrong way. Not that you have any right to tell anyone else what to do, or anything like that. Seeing as how you’re the one claiming it’s the left who are the true Fascists, that’s fucking rich. You must eat your soup with a corkscrew.

        Whether you, personally, “approve” of abortion, or get all squeamish at the thought of it is neither here nor there outside of your own choice to have one or not, since the awful jackbooted storm troopers on the left are the ones who are vested in making sure you’re allowed to make your own personal decision in the matter. Maybe you should swing by your local Planned Parenthood clinic sometime, because while you will see a lot of people trying to interfere with the reproductive rights of others, and who have an ongoing agenda to take that personal choice away from them, they sure as shit won’t be members of the political left.

      • Is it getting hot in here? *fan*

  35. Jenn

    Obama should have a Rottie if he’s the antichrist, not that flippity water dog. Please, she needs to watch The Omen.

  36. The Republicans are trying to make Obama negotiate a pre-nup long after the wedding has taken place, and they’re not going to give him any pussy until he agrees. A bunch of racist cunts.

  37. I’m sure Fish’s advertising rates are really reasonable if you ask him.

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