NFL quarterback Michael Vick is facing federal charges for allegedly participating in illegal dogfighting, and now he’s being hit with a “$63,000,000,000 billion dollar” lawsuit filed by South Carolina inmate Jonathan Lee Riches, who says Michael stole his pit bulls and sold them on eBay to buy “missiles from Iran.” Fox News reports:
The complaint also alleges that Vick would need those missiles because he pledged allegiance to Al Qaeda in February of this year.
“Michael Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes,” Riches writes in the complaint.
Riches wants $63 billion dollars “backed by gold and silver ” delivered to the front gates to the Williamsburg Federal Correctional facility in South Carolina. Riches is an inmate at the facility serving out a wire fraud conviction.
Oh yeah, did I mention the lawsuit was written by hand? Because it’s written by hand. And I’m not a lawyer, but this Jonathan Lee Riches sounds like he’s got a rock solid case. Michael Vick better start saving, because “$63 billion dollars backed by gold and silver ” is kind of a lot of money. I don’t want to brag, but I’m pretty good with numbers.
Shallow Val | August 15, 2007 at 4:50 pm
Does anyone even HAVE 63 billion dollars? (Check’s Nana’s changepurse) Nope, empty.
george | August 15, 2007 at 4:50 pm
first
… Dude, wtf? oO;;
MVick | August 15, 2007 at 4:50 pm
Lies!
Well, most of it.
Shallow Val | August 15, 2007 at 4:52 pm
Did I steal you spot George. Sorry, you can have it….
WHO FUCKING CARES????
YouRang | August 15, 2007 at 4:52 pm
I can’t believe this motherfucker beat me to this! Son Of A BITCH!
physicallyhurtingmyfeelingsisagainstthelaw | August 15, 2007 at 4:54 pm
Now I understand why some women fall in love with inmates. This guy is a genius. I just wonder how Michael Vick got into his coat to steal his ID, and who’s going to sign for the money. This probably took him 3 weeks to write.
Bite Me! | August 15, 2007 at 4:57 pm
@1 Shallow Val – Bill Gates does. Has he been involved in dog fighting?
Texas Tranny | August 15, 2007 at 4:58 pm
I agree with Val……………Who gives a shit, I hope they “let the dogs out” on his ass. Anyone doing that to poor little pit bulls is fucking a nut case.
b | August 15, 2007 at 5:00 pm
this says it all.
http://bd2.battledawn.com/referx.php?serv=2&ref=8306
Alena | August 15, 2007 at 5:03 pm
I don’t know were to start…
Phisically hurted his feelings? Like… phisically? How?, I mean… How?
Some pit bulls are worth for several missiles? Damn, I have to start selling my dogs on E-bay.
Geoff | August 15, 2007 at 5:04 pm
He should get Johnny Cochran to take his case. Why would Michael Vick, a 9 foot tall wookie, live on a planet… With a bunch of two foot tall pit bulls? That… Does not… make… sense. Ladies and Gentlemen of this ‘supposed’ jury that does not make sense!
xx | August 15, 2007 at 5:05 pm
I am a lawyer, and I can tell you, Michael Vick is fucked. I wouldn’t go against this guy in court. No way. Vick = pwned!
schack | August 15, 2007 at 5:06 pm
Texas Tranny, why are you emailing Lady Bug and not me? I think you owe me some pictures too.
Texas Tranny | August 15, 2007 at 5:09 pm
Hey Schack………I’ll have some for you tomorrow. LayDeeBug doesn’t like the nasty ones like you do, so I can’t send her my “daily” pics.
schack | August 15, 2007 at 5:12 pm
TT You did not even send me those today
Texas Tranny | August 15, 2007 at 5:14 pm
Schack…………..You never emailed me back and I thought maybe you didn’t like my nasty pics.
michelle | August 15, 2007 at 5:15 pm
I am certain no one will be willing to take this seriously… and just dismiss it. I love the hand-written style, though… totally sophisticated!
schack | August 15, 2007 at 5:15 pm
Yes I did. I told you want I wanted to see
rmc | August 15, 2007 at 5:16 pm
im sure this guy wasnt doing this as a joke either. some of you guys are fucking retards. this is hilarious. either that or he’s serious and has had too many cocks in the backdoor.
Goodman | August 15, 2007 at 5:17 pm
Conrats #1 for beating me to the punch
Texas Tranny | August 15, 2007 at 5:18 pm
Ok Schack, tomorrow you’ll have some of my nastiest ones, real slutty.
Jonathan Lee Riches | August 15, 2007 at 5:19 pm
Also I’m suing the Superficial for stealing my face
no1justminda | August 15, 2007 at 5:23 pm
Oh puh-leaaaaase
lambman | August 15, 2007 at 5:29 pm
Two great American heros, one tiny superficial post
veronica | August 15, 2007 at 5:30 pm
hahaha, SO funny
ts | August 15, 2007 at 5:31 pm
#4, I’m with you.
Goodman, what a miserable existence you seem to have. But when you’re a retard it probably doesn’t really occur to you all that often.
I literally get embarassed for you when I read your posts. Why do I even are? I really don’t know. I know it shouldn’t. It just bugs the hell out of me when I see someone repeatedly making a fool of themselves.
pointandlaugh | August 15, 2007 at 5:37 pm
too damn funny
PrettyBaby | August 15, 2007 at 5:39 pm
hmmmm this is an arguement AGAINST having legal assistance in prisons.
George | August 15, 2007 at 5:41 pm
Why do I have a troll. Give me a break, and go make-up your own handles. If you want to troll someone then troll Jimbo, Victor, Kelli, sahack, Texas Tranny, Bite me, or any number of other folks. Leave me alone. I want to be ALONE.
whatever | August 15, 2007 at 5:42 pm
30th !!!
Take that bitches.
whatever | August 15, 2007 at 5:42 pm
Are you sure Spears didn’t write this?
Shallow Val | August 15, 2007 at 5:43 pm
#7, SHOOT (snaps fingers and stomps foot in disgust.)
That guy has everything!!!!
whatever | August 15, 2007 at 5:43 pm
Who else thinks Spears kids would be better off with Michael Vick learning how to fight pit bulls?
Bite Me | August 15, 2007 at 5:45 pm
@29 George, It is just part of hanging out in the Superficial. There are a few people that have no lives and enjoy trolling other people. It is to bad that there is nothing we can do about it.
But for all we know you could be the troll.
Valkyrie | August 15, 2007 at 5:46 pm
#10 Alena, good one.
Your comments are the reason why I stay here at the FISH. It may be boring here but at least the intelligence level is higher than at Perez. Have you read some of the shit those yabbos post?
Alena | August 15, 2007 at 5:49 pm
# 33 I think Spears kids will be better off with Jonathan Lee Riches as a parent.
He would get both their names copyrighted, and make sure no one physically hurts their feelings.
Howard Cosell | August 15, 2007 at 5:50 pm
#34 Bite me.
“George moves forward. Bite ME parries then thrusts and touche, Bite ME has won this bout!”
(thunderous applause)
doodie | August 15, 2007 at 5:50 pm
i think Vick should dig up Johnny Cochran and Kim Kardashians father and have them be his lawyer, have Gloria Alred be his damage control rep. (while i lift up her dress, push her panties to the side, and let vick’s pit bulls lick her puss) and then bring OJ in to be a surprise defense character witness.
and just for laughs, put Nicole Brown Simpson on the rape stand.
whoneedsenemies | August 15, 2007 at 5:51 pm
I filed one of these against Fish for not being funny…
Still haven’t seen my court date…
But in all fairness mine wasn’t written in pencil…it was written in purple ink…
Alena | August 15, 2007 at 5:52 pm
#35 Yes I have… I think Jonathan Lee Riches has a higher IQ than a most of them
Bite Me! | August 15, 2007 at 5:53 pm
@37 WTF!
cowcat | August 15, 2007 at 5:53 pm
George, it is also possible that your “troll” could just be a guy named…George.
Alena | August 15, 2007 at 5:54 pm
Damn… the extra “a” was a typo
Stuckey | August 15, 2007 at 5:56 pm
The problem with those Al Queda dawgs is they want to kill the other dog but they also kill themselves at the same time.
You can’t make money on a dog fight like that!
Alena | August 15, 2007 at 5:57 pm
# 44 LMAO
Try Me | August 15, 2007 at 5:59 pm
In the context of internet culture, an internet troll, or simply troll in Internet slang, is someone who intentionally posts messages about sensitive topics constructed to cause controversy in an online community such as an online discussion forum or USENET groups in order to bait users into responding.[1] They may also plant images and data on networks that others may find disturbing in order to cause confrontation.
More specifically a troll is an insult or accusation made against a poster. It would be highly unusual for any internet poster to claim the title of troll[citation needed], rather a community member may try to deflate a post that is controversial or thought provoking by referring to it as a “troll”. In usage troll is more of an insult like “jerk”.
To call someone a troll is to say that any dispute over a post is not valid not because the issues raised are not valid, but to claim the intent of the poster invalidates the post. As a speech act the term troll is generally used as an ad hominem argument, attacking the poster rather than the content or issues of the post.
Kitten | August 15, 2007 at 5:59 pm
This is genius! Michael Vick should switch spots with this guy. Fuck Michael Vick!!!
DuD | August 15, 2007 at 6:02 pm
Thanks for the info “Try”.
Are you new to the internet blog pages?
Melissa | August 15, 2007 at 6:03 pm
inmates often hand write complaints. just because it’s handwritten doesnt’ mean it’s by a crazy person.
DuD | August 15, 2007 at 6:03 pm
and message boards?