Michael Phelps & Subway stay toasty

February 8th, 2009 // 42 Comments

Tony the Tiger may be a child-molesting NARC (Why’s he always at kids sports game?), but Jared and the folks at Subway understand that sometimes Americans get drunk and say “Yeah, I’ll hit that.” They’re standing behind gold-medalist Michael Phelps after he became a media lightning rod when a photo of him smoking a bong at a college party was published in the British tabloids. USA Today reports:

“Like most Americans, and like Michael Phelps himself, we were disappointed in his behavior,” Subway said in a statement. “Also like most Americans, we accept his apology. Moving forward, he remains in our plans.”
Political campaigns and corporate marketers often wait until Friday night to release bad news. But in this case, Subway waited till the end of the week to support the Olympic swimmer.

On a sadder note, my condolences to Subway employees who are about to experience an influx of hippies trying to barter for sandwiches with hacky sacks or a sweet guitar jam. Fortunately, I know their weakness: Tell them you’re hiring.

superficial

  1. tess

    FIRST!!!!!!!!! or second????

  2. I’ve heard Jared is behind this decision. He wants to keep Phelps’ busted mug actually makes Jared look handsome. Also Jared is the faster swimmer, but he refuses to compete.

    http://www.lowbrowsophisticate.com/category/grady-ocorn

  3. amanda

    so he smoked some weed, who cares?
    dumbass should have know better than to do it in public, but so long as his piss test comes back clean for the next olympics what difference does it make?

  4. oursong

    LOL.

    how many times have i gotten stoned and gone to subway? no fast food place should ever condemn weed. it’s why theyz open l8!

  5. Candy O

    Puff… puff… ‘ere… take this… so I can type… the dude is MY hero!

  6. CandyO

    Puff… pufff… ‘ere… take this… so I can type… the dude is MY HERO!

  7. nun

    happy holiday

  8. me

    Anyone posting after me sucks on Michael Phelps’ fishy penis and swallows his watery ejaculation

  9. ~*Adrienne*~

    Good for subway. On another note, I thought that the United States was trying to go “green” anyways?

  10. hudd

    He might’ve been smorking Borkhum Rhiff pipe tobacco through that thing. There’s a shop near me that sells glass and acrylic pipes and that’s what they are intended to have smoked in them.

  11. ~*Adrienne*~

    #8 That is just disgusting i’d rather suck the brown, greasy beaner penis freshly dipped in salsa picante de chile habanero, let to dry, then covered in the cheesy ragu than fish flavored cock.

  12. camilondriz

    He used to be good; but he just F*cked up!
    Go and check what hot cougars and milfs say about him on ^^^^ __AgelessMate.Com__^^^^ is it so hard to be a good celeb?

  13. camilon

    XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

  14. Robert Wise - aka - Bobby - aka LA Cop

    God hate him. The ’60s and ’70s are dead and over. Everyone knows how to say NO to drugs, and dope is for Dopes. He is now well on his way to Heroin and Crack. It all starts with a small puff and then snowballs. I won’t accept his apology or buy any Subway sandwich until he checks himself into rehab.

  15. chachi

    Subway wouldnt exist if it weren’t for stoners. It’s like 45% of their business.

  16. Joe

    Phelps just released a press statement saying he is starting to have doubts about competing in 2012 games. Seems to me it is a vague threat to us to back of him just a little bit. You know what I say? We should absolutely do it. We should all sign an apology card, send him some flowers and have done. Why are we letting something that didn’t hurt anybody (and if you think kids are going to start smoking pot simply because phelps did, not because 75% of their friends are, you don’t know your kids) let us forget how awesome watching him in the olympics was? Seriously, who gives a shit? Let it go.

  17. Good for Phelps, there is a huge stoner audience out there and Subway beats the pants off of quiznos as far as munchie foods go. As long as he avoids any more arrests, he should be okay.

    Http://bbwdatingsingles.com

  18. #16, of course kids are going to start smoking pot because Phelps did it, just like sex education in schools makes kids run out and have sex.

  19. Famous Mortimer

    Are they now going to have “baked” sandwiches to go along with the toasted ones?

  20. Randal

    I think it’s great to know that Subway has such a mature attitude toward Michael Phelps and comes to realize he didn’t do anything wrong at all. With Jared and Michael promoting the great food Subway has to offer, its value will continue to sky rocket in 2009.

    Randal

  21. #18
    They also teach algebra in school, but kids don’t run out solving quadratic equations. I say leave Phelps alone. He may become the first president to have inhaled.

    http://www.acai–berrydiet.com/blog

  22. 11pound

    #18 How does seeing someone smoke pot equate to sex education courses? Only in your retarded little mind. He wasn’t doing a Don’t Do Drugs course.

  23. Mama Pinkus

    Kudos to Subway; for heaven’s sake the young guy was just having a bit of fun.

  24. jj

    omg
    get over it
    theres very few people out there who havent smoked weed at some point in their life
    i mean shit..obama used to smoke pot and do coke..and noone makes a big deal out of that douche bag who happens to now be running our country (sadly)
    but i could never get how anyone thinks phelps is attractive?? he’s cool but i mean come on he looks deformed and shit

  25. Sushi

    The kid should be stripped of his medals

  26. jj

    #26:
    you should be stripped of the right to post retarded comments like that

  27. Laura

    O MI GAWD PEOPLE!
    GET THE FUCK OVER IT ALREADY!! ITS A FUCKING HOOT OFF A BONG FOR FUCKS SAKE!! I COULD MAYBE UNDERSTAND ALL THIS FUCKING MEDIA DRAMA IF IT WERE A PIC OF HIM SNORTING SOME BLOW OR SOME SHIT, BUT THIS IS PATHETIC. THIS GUY IS 23 YEARS OLD AND ON TOP OF THE WORLD. HE SHOULD BE PARTYING AND BLAZING AND DRINKING RIGHT NOW. HE DESERVES IT. FURTHERMORE WEED IS BARELY EVEN A DRUG IN MY OPINION. THIS JUST MAKES ME SO MAD. WHAT HE DOES IN HIS PERSONAL TIME SHOULD BE HIS BUSINESS, AND THE FUCKING FUCK THAT LEAKED THIS PIC IS A PIECE OF SHIT. ACTUALLY I THINK MICHAEL PHELPS IS A LOT RADDER NOW THAT I HAVE SEEN THAT HES JUST A NORMAL DUDE. GET THE FUCK OVER IT ALREADY!!!

  28. Laura

    O MI GAWD PEOPLE!
    GET THE FUCK OVER IT ALREADY!! ITS A FUCKING HOOT OFF A BONG FOR FUCKS SAKE!! I COULD MAYBE UNDERSTAND ALL THIS FUCKING MEDIA DRAMA IF IT WERE A PIC OF HIM SNORTING SOME BLOW OR SOME SHIT, BUT THIS IS PATHETIC. THIS GUY IS 23 YEARS OLD AND ON TOP OF THE WORLD. HE SHOULD BE PARTYING AND BLAZING AND DRINKING RIGHT NOW. HE DESERVES IT. FURTHERMORE WEED IS BARELY EVEN A DRUG IN MY OPINION. THIS JUST MAKES ME SO MAD. WHAT HE DOES IN HIS PERSONAL TIME SHOULD BE HIS BUSINESS, AND THE FUCKING FUCK THAT LEAKED THIS PIC IS A PIECE OF SHIT. ACTUALLY I THINK MICHAEL PHELPS IS A LOT RADDER NOW THAT I HAVE SEEN THAT HES JUST A NORMAL DUDE. GET THE FUCK OVER IT ALREADY!!!

  29. I hope nobody knows him today, folks!!
    ………………………………WHO?

  30. don't tase me, bro

    get a clue, subway…

    “most” americans either don’t care or are raising their pipes & bongs in toast. the only people who are ‘disappointed’ are retarded oldster shits who are still afraid of the real world. fuck ‘em

  31. This guy need to attract better quality paparazzi…

  32. Mhoop1

    Translation: We already paid for his endorsement and don’t want to pay anyone else….

  33. Judge Right

    Good for Subway for making the right decision.

  34. Woodie

    I’m going to lunch at Subway today…

  35. OC Dee

    Three cheers for Subway! I will continue eating Subway sandwiches and boycott Kellogg’s.

  36. E

    #32- exactly

  37. Beastman AIDS

    #14
    “He is now well on his way to Heroin and Crack”
    Wtf u talkin’ ’bout willis? I’m not even going to give you facts because that statement was so fucked it dosn’t even deserve a response.

    #28/29
    No one’s going to read what you wrote because you started the sentence with “OH MI GAWD” and typing in caps makes you look like a crack smoking mongoloid.

  38. Janine

    At least Subway knows their core market! Stoners.

  39. sebastianudo

    Tony the Tiger may be a child-molesting NARC (Why’s he always at kids sports game?) jajajajaja

  40. I think it is nice to know that Subway is so mature attitude, and Michael Phelps will he did nothing wrong at all. With Jared, and Michael promote good food, the subway is to provide its value continues to sky rocket in 2009.

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