Michael Phelps is a genius

February 18th, 2009 // 45 Comments

Ever since finding out photographs create a visual record of everything that you do, Michael Phelps is on a one-man mission to avoid the paparazzi. Even if it includes going to the strip club every night. The man’s a hero. Page Six reports:

A spy tells us the human dolphin recently had the windows of his Baltimore house tinted to prevent paparazzi from snapping shots of him at home. According to our source, Phelps has also been “hiding out at strip clubs,” since they’re the only places he can party with no pictures being taken.

I almost want to get married right now just to use that as an excuse to go to the nudie bar. “Gotta run out, babe. Damn paparazzi are dogging me. – - Got any ones?”

Somebody needs to give Michael Phelps the Nobel Prize.

Photo: Getty
superficial

  1. bubba

    works for me!

  2. Ryan

    FIRST!

  3. Ryan

    FIRST!

  4. kiky

    [ 40 P L U S S E E K I N G . C 0 M ] is really a funny and interesting place to meet 40 plus and attractive women or hot men. Many hottie photos at this site, you can enjoy latest interesting photos or talk about hot topic with other friends. I’ve met many thoughtful 40plus singles who were trying to find true love.

  5. samdog

    I need to party with this guy…..

    Kiky.. take your old ass to your orgy site and get fucked you worthless whore.

  6. Sexy B

    Ones? You are cheap.

  7. Mr. LOL

    So the other day I saw Phelps at a red light. But he looked lost, i think he was going the bong way.

    LOL!

  8. Sheeva

    mmmmmmmmmm! He looks like a nice _ boy to me!

  9. Joline

    His photos were seen at the millionaire & celebrity dating club ____MillionaireLoving. C O M____last week. It is said he is already in relationship with a young pretty …, maybe you also have the chance to date with a rich beauty there. Come on.

  10. Apes in the White House

    I heard Bilack Oboombox is gonna force another stimulus bill for $900 Billion to allow the paparazzi access to Micheal Phelps home….this will definately create more jobs than the current porkulus bill…..

  11. Get that snaggle fixed homie, you got the money for it. That grill is also looking a little bit buttery.

  12. Bickus Dickus

    Phelps looks like the kid brother of that deranged mongongloid dude in The Devil’s Rejects…..I think he also starred as the giant in Big Fish, he died not too long ago, used to be on Howard Stern alot….

  13. I love Madoff

    Yeah why try to help out the common man and create more jobs for this country. It’s ok though to give tons of money to the swinders that created this mess – the banksters. Yeah bail ‘em out and we’ll pay for it! With interest! To whom is our government (us) paying the interest to?
    Hey why not just let our nation go bankrupt? Then we can start all over again and not owe the banks anything! NO? Oh sorry, bad idea. Good hardworking well connected money families would falter. Even though it would help out billions of others.

    Pork is for the poor. Funny how the pigs hate it.

  14. He should hide at the orthodontist… no one would find him there.

  15. Apes in the White House

    Most of the “poor” are there for a reason. And if they are successful races of humans, they are only there for a generation, then they gradually move up, that’s the American Dream. Why is it that every race of people except for Porch Monkeys and Beaners have been able to come to this country and thrive within a generation.

    Look at the Jews, Germans, Italians, English, Nordic, Asian, Arab, etc…. all have come here and thrived within a generation and realized the American dream. All except the poor victimized negro. I can’t even classify beaners with the monkeys because at least the wetbacks work. (Albeit for $10/day).

    The negro species of ape has been in the same financial/social black hole since they arrived here. Actually, they were better off as slaves, they were useful and organized, and also kept in line by the White man.

    I don’t care who you call a racist, but facts are facts, and the coons just don’t qualify as humans.

  16. M

    “porch monkeys” didn’t come here – we brought them. faggot.

  17. I cant believe ive been out of this site for so long,,,with rihanna injuring cris brown’s hand with her forehead, to tony romo pretending to like jessica simpson’s new back fat….rough daddy is back,,,not fully though.

  18. he should hide under a lampshade

  19. LaDeeDa

    #14 – that little remark made my coffee come out my nose.

    well done.

  20. Charles Darwin - call me Charlie (keepin it real)

    Some of us just never evolved. Those that remained behind did just that. They were adapted for where they were and did not need to acquire new characteristics. Those that left their original home were forced to change.
    So that blacks don’t seem to have it in their genome to adapt outside of what they call “they house”.

  21. Massa'

    The only “stimulus” bill we should be passing should be to abolish the Emancipation of the apes. No more drag on the economy. They could either be bought as slaves and become useful again, or go back to Africa and play sticks and stones, stick bones through their noses and plates in their lip , go on quests to find a Popeye’s Fried Chicken, and search for urban settings to decimate, overrun, and destroy…..

  22. Sasha Fierce

    Massa you need the love of a black woman to show you what life about man. I pull my cooter wings all over that white dick and smother it in jungle sauce baby. Then I lick it off and make you kiss me and then eat me out. You would love it. Except for having to pick out all the curly cue hairs out you teeth later.
    Beotch.

  23. great athlete. total moron with the IQ of a fruit salad.

  24. Chuck

    @ 15

    If you really had any intelligence at all on the subject of race, you would know the difference between immigrant minorities and colonized minorities. Because there is a very significant difference in the two classes, and how this country has treated them. But your probably just some kid who already thinks he knows everything, and won’t take the time to learn.

  25. Chuck

    @ 15

    If you really had any intelligence at all on the subject of race, you would know the difference between immigrant minorities and colonized minorities. Because there is a very significant difference in the two classes, and how this country has treated them. But your probably just some kid who already thinks he knows everything, and won’t take the time to learn.

  26. anistonwang45

    Is him… Seems he is famous on some ta ll da ting place ____T allMingle Co M___ where are many hot models and handsome guys. Many tall singles find their lovers there

  27. kat

    he is so fucking retarded looking.

  28. kat

    he is so fucking retarded looking. i just honestly want to punch him in the face.

  29. Apes in the White House

    well, #24-25,
    I do know that there are large “colonies” of minorities that have taken over every major urban setting in the country, and are failing miserably. Either under their own leadership or under the leadership of their owners, the Democrats, who keep them locked up in vote factories (housing projects).

    So if you’re implying that some minorities had an advantage over others then I have to respectively say that Porch Monkey’s have had it both ways, and still find ways to fail miserably, all the while having more opportunities to succeed (via countless gov’t handouts/ programs/associations) than any other race of people. They are just genetically programmed to fail, and would be extinct if it wasn’t for white people taking care of them.

  30. kat

    he is so fucking retarded looking. i just honestly want to punch him in the face. stupid white bafoon.

  31. Jrz

    That’s terrible, the poor thing….being forced to hang out in strip clubs. He must sit there bewildered and ashamed.

  32. Alec Baldwin

    He takes to water like a fish.

    Sadly, he also has the brain capacity of a fish. Apologies to fish.

  33. Phelps

    #14 – Is that attempt at humor? Hopefully you have a day job.

  34. #33 – I do. It’s kicking people like you right in the pussy. The pay is good, but my steel toes smell fishy…

  35. Phelps is facially deformed

    Yeah the guy is butt ugly. That’s it. Just wanted to make his fans unhappy. Like a fag swimmer is really a hero. He must be really dumb he sure by god looks dumb. Did I mention is face is hideous? Yep. Ugly set of chomper all crooked and shit.

    Poor genetics unless you throw him out to sea. Then the ugly fuck can swim somewhere to where the people like ‘em ugly.

    Ugly Pothead.

  36. hilen

    He is so cool, my girfriend was his fan before! But she dosen`t like him so much as before now because she found he is dating with a young sexy model on “^^ C e l e b M i n g l e. C o M^^ ” . Such a dude!!

  37. hooper

    He’s so godawful looking. It’s all in his mouth too. I’d rather kiss a buzzsaw.

  38. NxIxCxKxMxAxNx

    Who?

  39. Yaga

    APES IN THE WHITEHOUSE, I TRULY hope that you die in a fire!

  40. LondonBabe

    lol some of the racists on this site really take themselves seriously!
    @15 He was really going for it LOL

  41. devilsrain

    31. Genius!! He must scare even the strippers away

  42. Tom K

    Americans are so ugly!!! Prime example………….. Michael Phelps!

  43. ALL THE WATER HAS GONE TO HIS HEAD, folks!!

  44. lucy

    How nice. He is so handsome, and I like him very much, I have seen him on
    _____Millionaire Romances com_____, I also met a lot of wealthy singles and celebs here. I am so lucky.

  45. Get the snaggle solid homie, you have the money for it. The grid is also looking a little butter.

Leave A Comment