Ever since finding out photographs create a visual record of everything that you do, Michael Phelps is on a one-man mission to avoid the paparazzi. Even if it includes going to the strip club every night. The man’s a hero. Page Six reports:
A spy tells us the human dolphin recently had the windows of his Baltimore house tinted to prevent paparazzi from snapping shots of him at home. According to our source, Phelps has also been “hiding out at strip clubs,” since they’re the only places he can party with no pictures being taken.
I almost want to get married right now just to use that as an excuse to go to the nudie bar. “Gotta run out, babe. Damn paparazzi are dogging me. – - Got any ones?”
Somebody needs to give Michael Phelps the Nobel Prize.
bubba | February 18, 2009 at 10:33 am
works for me!
Ryan | February 18, 2009 at 10:33 am
FIRST!
Ryan | February 18, 2009 at 10:34 am
FIRST!
kiky | February 18, 2009 at 10:35 am
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samdog | February 18, 2009 at 10:38 am
I need to party with this guy…..
Kiky.. take your old ass to your orgy site and get fucked you worthless whore.
Sexy B | February 18, 2009 at 10:41 am
Ones? You are cheap.
Mr. LOL | February 18, 2009 at 10:43 am
So the other day I saw Phelps at a red light. But he looked lost, i think he was going the bong way.
LOL!
Sheeva | February 18, 2009 at 10:46 am
mmmmmmmmmm! He looks like a nice _ boy to me!
Joline | February 18, 2009 at 10:55 am
His photos were seen at the millionaire & celebrity dating club ____MillionaireLoving. C O M____last week. It is said he is already in relationship with a young pretty …, maybe you also have the chance to date with a rich beauty there. Come on.
Apes in the White House | February 18, 2009 at 10:55 am
I heard Bilack Oboombox is gonna force another stimulus bill for $900 Billion to allow the paparazzi access to Micheal Phelps home….this will definately create more jobs than the current porkulus bill…..
GAPED YOUR MOM. | February 18, 2009 at 10:57 am
Get that snaggle fixed homie, you got the money for it. That grill is also looking a little bit buttery.
Bickus Dickus | February 18, 2009 at 10:57 am
Phelps looks like the kid brother of that deranged mongongloid dude in The Devil’s Rejects…..I think he also starred as the giant in Big Fish, he died not too long ago, used to be on Howard Stern alot….
I love Madoff | February 18, 2009 at 11:01 am
Yeah why try to help out the common man and create more jobs for this country. It’s ok though to give tons of money to the swinders that created this mess – the banksters. Yeah bail ‘em out and we’ll pay for it! With interest! To whom is our government (us) paying the interest to?
Hey why not just let our nation go bankrupt? Then we can start all over again and not owe the banks anything! NO? Oh sorry, bad idea. Good hardworking well connected money families would falter. Even though it would help out billions of others.
Pork is for the poor. Funny how the pigs hate it.
RichPort's Ghost | February 18, 2009 at 11:05 am
He should hide at the orthodontist… no one would find him there.
Apes in the White House | February 18, 2009 at 11:08 am
Most of the “poor” are there for a reason. And if they are successful races of humans, they are only there for a generation, then they gradually move up, that’s the American Dream. Why is it that every race of people except for Porch Monkeys and Beaners have been able to come to this country and thrive within a generation.
Look at the Jews, Germans, Italians, English, Nordic, Asian, Arab, etc…. all have come here and thrived within a generation and realized the American dream. All except the poor victimized negro. I can’t even classify beaners with the monkeys because at least the wetbacks work. (Albeit for $10/day).
The negro species of ape has been in the same financial/social black hole since they arrived here. Actually, they were better off as slaves, they were useful and organized, and also kept in line by the White man.
I don’t care who you call a racist, but facts are facts, and the coons just don’t qualify as humans.
M | February 18, 2009 at 11:17 am
“porch monkeys” didn’t come here – we brought them. faggot.
ROUGH rules | February 18, 2009 at 11:18 am
I cant believe ive been out of this site for so long,,,with rihanna injuring cris brown’s hand with her forehead, to tony romo pretending to like jessica simpson’s new back fat….rough daddy is back,,,not fully though.
foghat | February 18, 2009 at 11:20 am
he should hide under a lampshade
LaDeeDa | February 18, 2009 at 11:20 am
#14 – that little remark made my coffee come out my nose.
well done.
Charles Darwin - call me Charlie (keepin it real) | February 18, 2009 at 11:22 am
Some of us just never evolved. Those that remained behind did just that. They were adapted for where they were and did not need to acquire new characteristics. Those that left their original home were forced to change.
So that blacks don’t seem to have it in their genome to adapt outside of what they call “they house”.
Massa' | February 18, 2009 at 11:25 am
The only “stimulus” bill we should be passing should be to abolish the Emancipation of the apes. No more drag on the economy. They could either be bought as slaves and become useful again, or go back to Africa and play sticks and stones, stick bones through their noses and plates in their lip , go on quests to find a Popeye’s Fried Chicken, and search for urban settings to decimate, overrun, and destroy…..
Sasha Fierce | February 18, 2009 at 11:37 am
Massa you need the love of a black woman to show you what life about man. I pull my cooter wings all over that white dick and smother it in jungle sauce baby. Then I lick it off and make you kiss me and then eat me out. You would love it. Except for having to pick out all the curly cue hairs out you teeth later.
Beotch.
freejose | February 18, 2009 at 11:52 am
great athlete. total moron with the IQ of a fruit salad.
Chuck | February 18, 2009 at 12:05 pm
@ 15
If you really had any intelligence at all on the subject of race, you would know the difference between immigrant minorities and colonized minorities. Because there is a very significant difference in the two classes, and how this country has treated them. But your probably just some kid who already thinks he knows everything, and won’t take the time to learn.
Chuck | February 18, 2009 at 12:05 pm
@ 15
If you really had any intelligence at all on the subject of race, you would know the difference between immigrant minorities and colonized minorities. Because there is a very significant difference in the two classes, and how this country has treated them. But your probably just some kid who already thinks he knows everything, and won’t take the time to learn.
anistonwang45 | February 18, 2009 at 12:10 pm
Is him… Seems he is famous on some ta ll da ting place ____T allMingle Co M___ where are many hot models and handsome guys. Many tall singles find their lovers there
kat | February 18, 2009 at 12:11 pm
he is so fucking retarded looking.
kat | February 18, 2009 at 12:15 pm
he is so fucking retarded looking. i just honestly want to punch him in the face.
Apes in the White House | February 18, 2009 at 12:16 pm
well, #24-25,
I do know that there are large “colonies” of minorities that have taken over every major urban setting in the country, and are failing miserably. Either under their own leadership or under the leadership of their owners, the Democrats, who keep them locked up in vote factories (housing projects).
So if you’re implying that some minorities had an advantage over others then I have to respectively say that Porch Monkey’s have had it both ways, and still find ways to fail miserably, all the while having more opportunities to succeed (via countless gov’t handouts/ programs/associations) than any other race of people. They are just genetically programmed to fail, and would be extinct if it wasn’t for white people taking care of them.
kat | February 18, 2009 at 12:16 pm
he is so fucking retarded looking. i just honestly want to punch him in the face. stupid white bafoon.
Jrz | February 18, 2009 at 12:26 pm
That’s terrible, the poor thing….being forced to hang out in strip clubs. He must sit there bewildered and ashamed.
Alec Baldwin | February 18, 2009 at 1:11 pm
He takes to water like a fish.
Sadly, he also has the brain capacity of a fish. Apologies to fish.
Phelps | February 18, 2009 at 1:22 pm
#14 – Is that attempt at humor? Hopefully you have a day job.
RichPort's Ghost | February 18, 2009 at 1:33 pm
#33 – I do. It’s kicking people like you right in the pussy. The pay is good, but my steel toes smell fishy…
Phelps is facially deformed | February 18, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Yeah the guy is butt ugly. That’s it. Just wanted to make his fans unhappy. Like a fag swimmer is really a hero. He must be really dumb he sure by god looks dumb. Did I mention is face is hideous? Yep. Ugly set of chomper all crooked and shit.
Poor genetics unless you throw him out to sea. Then the ugly fuck can swim somewhere to where the people like ‘em ugly.
Ugly Pothead.
hilen | February 18, 2009 at 3:00 pm
He is so cool, my girfriend was his fan before! But she dosen`t like him so much as before now because she found he is dating with a young sexy model on “^^ C e l e b M i n g l e. C o M^^ ” . Such a dude!!
hooper | February 18, 2009 at 6:04 pm
He’s so godawful looking. It’s all in his mouth too. I’d rather kiss a buzzsaw.
NxIxCxKxMxAxNx | February 18, 2009 at 6:34 pm
Who?
Yaga | February 18, 2009 at 8:35 pm
APES IN THE WHITEHOUSE, I TRULY hope that you die in a fire!
LondonBabe | February 18, 2009 at 9:09 pm
lol some of the racists on this site really take themselves seriously!
@15 He was really going for it LOL
devilsrain | February 19, 2009 at 12:43 am
31. Genius!! He must scare even the strippers away
Tom K | February 19, 2009 at 12:45 am
Americans are so ugly!!! Prime example………….. Michael Phelps!
gerard Vandenberg | February 19, 2009 at 1:06 am
ALL THE WATER HAS GONE TO HIS HEAD, folks!!
lucy | February 19, 2009 at 1:24 am
How nice. He is so handsome, and I like him very much, I have seen him on
_____Millionaire Romances com_____, I also met a lot of wealthy singles and celebs here. I am so lucky.
hard drive media player | May 14, 2010 at 6:54 am
Get the snaggle solid homie, you have the money for it. The grid is also looking a little butter.