Michael Phelps in three car accident

August 14th, 2009 // 41 Comments

Michael Phelps was involved in a car accident late last night, according to the Baltimore Sun:

The accident Thursday night that involved Olympic swimming star Michael Phelps was caused when the female driver of a Honda Accord sped through a red light and hit a Cadillac Escalade driven by Phelps at a Mid-Town Belvedere intersection, according to Baltimore police.
Phelps and his two passengers were not hurt and cooperated with the investigation, police said.

People reports police did not administer Michael Phelps a breathalyzer because alcohol was clearly not a factor. Also, he dove into a river and yelled “I’m Aquaman, bitches!” before fucking a seahorse, so it was kind of hard to pin him down at that point. Okay, maybe that didn’t happen. But it should have.


  1. Valerie

    Holy shit! That’s a mighty fine picture : )

  2. Shoe

    I’m sorry, but that guy is stacked. That is a sick sick sick body!

  3. I’m going to stare at this picture at work for the next 3 hours, go out to Happy hour and have a few cocktails and take home one lucky man and call him Micheal, if he likes it or not

  4. will

    Shit, I was hoping the fucking dopehead died.

  5. JustSaying

    If Michael Phelps was dressed just like that standing next to Sienna Miller on that Ibiza Yacht do you think she’d get on her knees and honor his thing. I do.

  6. april

    great body, unfortunate face though

  7. OC Dee

    I loved watching him compete and win a lot of gold for the US. He is an awesome athlete.

  8. Valerie

    #4 HA! Have fun! : )

  9. scarlett

    that guy is a lesson for all of you guys calling every girl fat! once your abs look like michael’s you can say whatever you want. until then… well, just work out.

  10. girl about town

    Woman. Driving. On phone. Causes accident. … no way!

  11. Kat

    This man has the PERFECT body… below the neck. I’m cropping out his face and making this photo my desktop background. He is mesmerizing.

  12. His body is so perfect. His face isn’t really tragic but it’s not the best. Thank god he’s okay.

  13. Scot

    Fish, that was effin hilarious. “I’m aquaman bitches!” Thanks for that laugh.

  14. keijo


  15. Richport's Ghost

    @10: Shut up, you fucking sow. Now go get me a beer and a sammich.

  16. Randal

    Michael, I’m glad to read that you came out of the car crash injury free. Also wanted to say I enjoyed watching you in the Olympics and what a great inspiration you are to those coming up in the competitive swimming market.


  17. LEB

    Glad he’s okay. Now can I have hi with a side of fries?

  18. Sarah

    Hahah #7 you took the words right out of my mouth.

    Unfortunate, unfortunate face.

  19. Mai-Tai

    Michael Phelps is a tragedy. He has this sick body, but that face and jaw are *egh*. It’s just not right.

    I would still touch his penis. I just wouldn’t look at him.

  20. Amy

    God help me, I love Randal’s comments. Nothing any of you b*tches say makes me laugh more than he does.

  21. deddog

    @5 – dopehead? haha you jealous sac of saturated fat… shut your mouth, get back to your drinkin games and get crackin on that liver disease

  22. puhleez

    have you ever seen a car accident that didn’t involve at least one woman?

  23. datroof

    lol @ 10

    wtf does Michael Phelps body have to do with your pancake-sucking moo-cow habits? You think he’d slap your jellified ass and ride the wave in? Guess again fatty.

    Men aren’t demanding they are sexy if they are out of shape. We don’t care. Woman still flock as long as you’ve got money and/or lie to them. Does it work the other way? NO. Double standard? Sure! Why not! Tough luck for you.

    Just because MP looks great doesn’t mean you aren’t fat fAt FAT! And fat women are not sexy in any way. Not even if they are successful and have money. So stop cramming the Safeway bargain birthday cakes into you’re gaping, frosting-smeared piehole, step away from your cookie crumb and pepsi encrusted keyboard and start working off some of the tonnage. Cause that’s the only way you’ll ever get any nekkid time with a guy who’s even in a fraction of the shape MP is.

    btw, calling yourself Scarlett doesn’t make you look like Scarlett Johannsen. It makes you FAT.


    p.s. Woman on a cel phone runs a redlight and t-bones some innocent in an intersection. Shocker!

  24. Veronica

    agree with you Scarlett!

    more importantly than whether Michael Phelps has an amazing body (obviously yes, but good luck buying him a shirt for his birthday), what ever happened with the person who took the photo of him smoking weed? Did that “friend” ever get outed, or did Phelps’ friends just throw a blanket party for the sinister fuck?

  25. Dread not

    Lesson: If you spill the bong water, let it be! Keep your friggen eyes on the road!

  26. deddog

    Lesson: If you’re name is Dread not and you are too ignorant to read the story in its entirety… then shut the fuck up… she ran the light and crashed into him you mongaloid

  27. Dread not

    27. deddog – August 14, 2009 9:42 PM

    Lesson: If you’re name is Dread not and you are too ignorant to read the story in its entirety… then shut the fuck up… she ran the light and crashed into him you mongaloid

    Dn: Well, well, well. We got us a rocket scientist here, we do. Do you think that Phelps actually yelled, “I’m Aquaman, bitches?” I’ll bet that you do. Look, sport. If you can’t come up with anything better than trying to call someone out on a bit of humor, when they know the actual facts, than it’s best you snap your clap trap. Mm-k? And I’m not from Mongolia!

  28. That Girl

    That is one perfect body!

  29. Anna

    Perfect bod, fugly face.

  30. Jimboooo!

    Why is his head so small?

  31. Galtacticus

    Who posted my body here!?

  32. Darth

    Your head got airbrushed too!

  33. Goofy

    Yea…but I was there standing on the corner…I seen it all…Phelps waved me over…he said, “Here take this bong and my bag and run like hell…the cops will be here soon”…so I did! Thanks Mike…that was some real good shit you were smoking…if you want your bong back…you can meet me at the Starbucks just down the street from the accident next Saturday!

  34. Andie

    I think he’s hot. He looks yummy in those subway ads. I think the new haircut flatters the shape of his face much better. You work with what you’ve got, right? When he’s wet, though, the fact that his head is funny shaped (a little, like most people have room to talk) becomes more obvious. I’d do him. Again and again and again. And again. Then I’d do him some more. *sigh* A girl can dream, right?

  35. gigi

    so frigging hot…. good g-d I wish I was an asian chick & tossed in his pathway……

  36. gigi

    …and there’s absolutely nothing wrong w/ Michael’s face… very masculine, and sure he’s a little asymmetrical & big ears, but so what? he’s still hot & it all suits him perfectly

  37. I just hate that guy.
    Just another redneck from the bible belt with belt-less pants.

  38. Maryland

    Since when is Maryland in the f*cking bible belt?

  39. Michael Phelps in three car accident!…His body is so perfect. His face isn’t really tragic but it’s not the best. Thank god he’s okay.

  40. speed of 5 miles an hour is safe on a wide road… ;)

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