Michael Lohan’s paternity test delayed

July 18th, 2008 // 20 Comments

Michael Lohan has a while to go before he finds out if he really did father a love child. The paternity test has been delayed and awaits a court order to proceed. Michael has admitted to having an affair with Kristi Kaufman who is the mother of the supposed missing Lohan, Ashley Kaufman. Michael had written the girl letters while in prison and basically said, “Shit. She’s mine.” However, he seems to be changing his tune, according to E! News:

He adds that their relationship was brief and that Kaufman moved in with a new boyfriend shortly thereafter. It’s that man, Michael alleges, who is the likely father.
“The timing is just off,” Lohan said. “If she’s mine, I’ll take responsibility. But I wasn’t with her nine months before Ashley was born.”
Lohan said he’s disappointed the test results will take longer than he initially thought.
“But I’ll do whatever it takes to find out,” he says. “Everyone will know the truth soon.”

Michael’s probably sweating things now because he’s staring down the barrel of an assload of child support and can’t get his hands on that Lindsay money. That said, typically, most guys start praying to the God of Doin’ It* that they didn’t get a woman pregnant right after intercourse, but 13 years later is better than never, I suppose. Though one time I said “I hope I didn’t get you pregnant” to a chick before we even had sex – and then we didn’t, so Mission: Accomplished. I win!

*Lorenzo Lamas.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Lola

    who cares

  2. D

    First, yeah booi

  3. A

    13 years is a long time before coming forward. He should look into ironing his clothes…that shirt’s all wrinkled and it makes him look like hell.

  4. No matter how many times you hose him down, he still looks like a fucking pork chop.

  5. Mr_Peanut

    Hard to understand why Dina Lohan would want to procreate with this troll…and then you remember she’s Dina Lohan.

    Just another absentee jailbird baby daddy.

  6. you pizza-faced losers

    Why are people taking pictures of that loser? They might as well take pictures of you pizza-faced losers

  7. Chupacabra

    Cock sucker.

  8. Chupacabra

    Also, that ho he’s with looks like she has fucked more than one guy that came out of prison – if you know what I mean… cough – herpes.

  9. Michael Lohan's Lack of Shame

    3rd pic below is the same face he makes when he bust a nut to pictures of Lindsey’s tits. While his trailer bitch GF watches.

  10. Surprise! A reliable source said he has a relationship with a super model who posted a profile at a celebs site named (MILLMATCH) which is a site for beautiful people. His fans are busy with talking about it now uhmmm~~

  11. jen

    have you seen the video of the girl?!! SHE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE HIM. There facial features are unmistakably similar especially the eyes.

  12. It’s quite funny but EXTREMELY PATHETIC to witness.
    THIS IMBECILE REALY THINKS HIS EXHISTANE MEANS SOMETHING?
    yep, maybe to worms?

  13. jennifer_hammond

    That girl is definetly his child. She couldnt look anymore like him then she does already. Why bother with a dna test, just show the judge a side by side picture of the two of them. Its undeniable.

  14. Reagan

    why is that Maury Povich can get results in 48 hours? just sayin….

  15. God have mercy, this guy is only 48 years old (Synchro with post 14!). I’m getting depressed.

  16. Jeniffer

    Have u guys heard that he ever appeared on the wealthy dating club R I C H L O V I N G.C O M for hot singles to hook up for Hot Love and Sexy Dating? There are his hot photos and Lots of hot girls are found in his circle there. I’ve been there for day, it seems the girls are not hard to hook up.lol

  17. Say What!

    Iron your shirt if you are going to be on The Superficial.

  18. Dee

    Either he is, or he isn’t, what’s up with the delay? Is this supposed to be a soap opera?

  19. Paula

    Paternity test DELAYED??? I work for a DNA lab, DELAYED??? Unless he bought on of those cheap over the counter brands….hmmm….maybe Lindsay could help him out with a little loan, so he could go to a REAL lab

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