Michael Lohan is a jackass

November 20th, 2008 // 45 Comments

You know what’s always a good thing to do before punching celebrities in a charity boxing match? Check with your parole officer. A crucial step Michael Lohan seems to have skipped, according to TMZ:

Lindsay’s dad got the hook for that charity boxing match next week, because he’s still on parole for assault from 2004. “We do not feel that participating in a violent activity, such as celebrity boxing,” says a parole rep, “is appropriate for his rehabilitation.”

Someone needs to put Michael Lohan’s face on the Wikipedia page for FAIL. Along with Heidi & Spencer, Criss Angel and my local Dunkin Donuts for, I shit you not, running out of donuts today. That’s like KFC running out of chicken. Or, even more frightening, me running out of penis jokes. Shh, shh. I was only joking. It’s alright. Okay, take a deep breath. No, seriously, breathe. Somebody get these readers some paper bags! STAT.

Photo: WENN

  1. malicious

    how embarrassing for Lindsey to have those two as parents, publicity whores that they are. She turned out relatively normal considering

  2. This goes for every bottom feeders who wants to beat rough daddy,,,check with your parole officer first!!!!

  3. kellie belly

    My local KFC (Fort Collins, CO, thank you very much) ran out of chicken – no shit. The apathetic teenage girl manning the drive thru told me this information, like “What?? Yea, we’re out of chicken til 9pm.” It was 6:30!

  4. brendan

    my friends and i had once went through the drive-thru at a kfc only to find that they HAD run out of chicken. we then went to another one a few miles away only to hear the same thing. i thought civilization was ending.

  5. havoc

    I kinda feel sorry for Lindsay having two complete tools for parents.


  6. Dirk Diggler

    Well there goes my Saturday night.

  7. Brock Landers

    Meh, the penis jokes are getting old anyways.

  8. Mike

    Rough Daddy, Who would want to beat your pussy ass into the ground? It is not worth the effort.

  9. There it is folks! you see what mike answers to? Bottom feeder! you need a talk with dr phil young man!

  10. veggi

    Ugh, I got such a bad flashback when that picture loaded. I used to see my dad in exactly that pose. In a mirror. Kneeling behind me. Naked. In fairness to him, apparently it DOES make the guy’s orgasm more intense.

  11. Balls McCoy

    My KFC ran out of chicken on Nov. 4th. you know, there was lots of celebratin’ going on all night.

  12. Mike

    You are such a fucking idiot. How do you tie your shoes in the morning or do you just wear slip-ons?

  13. Matthew

    I like douches who we like to punch for $200 alex?

  14. Lame!!! what is this? you got this from insult 101,,,im wasting my time here!
    listen keyboard toughy,,,unless youre going to explain how youre going to beat me down…quit it,,,

  15. ref

    RD sounds like he’s getting an erection.

  16. Mike

    Go away you worthless pussy. Or at least shut up.

  17. Vince Lombardi

    Civilization doesn’t officially end until Mujibar at the 7-11 runs out of coffee.

  18. GO away? I dont do request!

  19. J face

    I also went to KFC once and they were out of chicken. Even worse, I called them 10 minutes earlier to ask if they were open and they failed to mention they were sold of of chicken.

  20. You notice commentators who are not interesting or have zero personality usual wants to ride RD coattails…

  21. Rough daddy's gay lover

    I’d watch those coattails fellas, there quite sticky after I squirted all over his soft backside in the backroom!
    Kisses and a shout out to Randal and his entourage (so far only Rough Daddy)

  22. usofunny

    @12 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  23. Kelly

    The KFC by my house has run out of chicken TWICE.

  24. ew

    so that’s where Lindsay gets her douchiness from. what a pathetic useless family.

  25. Ted from LA

    Why the long face?

    Fuck, you couldn’t hit a nine iron from his chin to his forehead.

  26. Rant

    The dude reminds me of French Stewart who played Harry on 3rd Rock From The Sun.

  27. Mike go make more kleenex babies…it is what you do best.

  28. Kevincy Q

    I heard that he appeared on a dating community ???INTERRACIALLOVING.COM??? with a personal account there. Maybe you have the chance to talk to him online or meet some singles there. It is amazing.

  29. assgrabber

    Can’t we just get Kimbo to kick his ass in an alley and then put it on YouTube? It would be way better than he and Kevin Federline jerking each other off with head gear on.

  30. Karen

    A local coffee shop, frequented by myself and about 3,000 college students in my area, ran out of coffee one night. And tea. Now that’s just wrong.

  31. kryptacronicudalite

    perhaps more abandoning than kfc running out of chicken (which it has at the charleston,il location a couple times a month) was when jimmy johns informed me that they had run out of sandwiches. how the hell does that happen?

  32. meme

    I believe you when you say dunkin donuts ran out of donuts. My Boston Market is frequently without chicken. Yeah, you go in at dinnertime and they say sorry no chicken. WTF? FAIL!

  33. meme

    I believe you when you say dunkin donuts ran out of donuts. My Boston Market is frequently without chicken. Yeah, you go in at dinnertime and they say sorry no chicken. WTF? FAIL!

  34. meme

    I believe you when you say dunkin donuts ran out of donuts. My Boston Market is frequently without chicken. Yeah, you go in at dinnertime and they say sorry no chicken. WTF? FAIL!

  35. Geo

    Oh my god. Do idiots STILL go “First”?

    I laughed when I saw the KFC gag. The local one, a real dump, once told me that it would take thirty-some minutes for my order. They were actually out of chicken and had to cook some! Sheesh.

  36. and thank you for your support #28!!!

  37. q

    KFC, Nice ! That’s effin hilarious. I blacklisted Boston Market nearly 12 years ago when I think they were still called Boston Chicken?!? Yeah, went there, no chicken! But I was offered sides. Eff Off ! !
    Oh, and by the way, I think a punch to the face would be great for his “rehabilitation” or what ever that family calls it ! Burn Facial Suck It !

  38. Yeah I totally went to a KFC once and they had run out of chicken. My dad went all “What the f*** else do you HAVE?” on them. It was funny. And tragic.

  39. ummm...yeah

    I’d kick my parole officers ass just to kick yours Rough Daddy!

  40. be sure: THIS IS A FAMILY-PROBLEM, folks!!

  41. monica

    this picture explains it all.

    “hey, guys, yes, it’s true…i’am a jackass.”

  42. pat

    why doesn’t this guy just get a regular job and work for a living like the rest of us?

    KFC may run out of chicken, but at least the bars don’t run out of beer.

  43. meee

    hahaha our KFC has run out of chicken & mashed potatoes & gravy PLENTY of times. it’s pathetic.

  44. Max Fiasto

    Hey Forrest…hey Jenny… About fighting Loser Lindsey’s pop. I would be pretty cautious of tossing a punch a this Criminal Clown. I’d most likely end up on that TMZ thing like the dude in Serpico who punched Al pachinho with a Combho Knuckle Straight Fist that ended up to his L-Bow mixed up in some Goo that belonged to a Dude in Leather Chaps with nothing whatsoever covering this Dudes Bum! Also, the fact that there were four other Cat’s holding this Dude up over a Metal Tube by his extremities. Yeah, I know, all the way up to his L-Bow … with know problem whatsoever , again man! Freak! If’in you’re not sure what Serpico is, it was a REAL Blockbuster that Mr. 9Who-Ya) Al Pachinho made … and yeah, you guessed correct. He wore lots of Leather too man! He like to wear the Policeman type Hat that the Dude in the Fruity Type Band wore also. That Band where a guy was an Indian, then one was a Construction Worker, then a Cat ‘In the Navy’, again, lest we forget the POliceman & a Few other Whack Jobs to finish the scene as ‘My Cousin Vinny’ would say, just Perfect for todays Yout’s! Me man, I was listening to Karen Carpenter, Bread, The Eagles, Led Zepplein, YES, Bad Company, Mott the Hoople, & that ‘Freak of Nature African American (American, I Think, Maybe)’ who wore a full size CLOCK around his ‘Chicken Neck’ with a Chain that must have been all of 8 ins. Anywho, here we have Mr. ‘who’s Taller, Al Pachinho or Mr. Tom (Okrah) when I come out on your show Today, I’m gonna act like a little Girl, you know, gushin’ about how much in LUv I am with someone’s BABYSITTER. By dat I only mean that’s she’s at least 17 & 22 years younger than me, hey! Ya man, I mean Okrah … her parents are gonna be thrilled when they see what I’ve done with there Little Girl … you know, after they see her after 6 to 10 months, they, uh, yeah, JUST THRILLED. Her MOM won’t CRY! … hopefully that is. Me & that Girl I go Goo Goo after, you know, the one I ‘asked’ to take out 8 “s out of each Shin so I’d be only 4″s SMALLER than her. I mean damn, I could’nt even kiss that English Chick I was married to. Enough about Giant’s & BACK to China. Yeah, I’m gonna bring along some Literature & a few Million David Bowie CD’s of ‘China Girl. Damn Man, I do hope I don’t get all Chop Suey Eyed over a ‘REAL BEAUTY’ over there. They do have couch’s, right?!!!? Enough about Short Freaky Movie Types, some who like ‘Freaky Leather’ & ‘Crothless Bottoms’. The other, just a damn Freak! Now Lindsey … all bets that like her little sister, who is gonna be so much better looking the her Nasty Carpet Cleanin sister. An UGLY Rug it is TOO! She spazed out on her own readers. Her parents saw $ Sign’s & turned Little Miss Ugly Freklle’ into someone that will become a permanent CATWOMAN in real life! She will most definitley get to know ELBOWS too. Wherever ‘ELBE’ is! Oh yeah! Happy holidays to you & yours…

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