Lindsay’s parents are dickheads

March 31st, 2010 // 46 Comments

Michael Lohan held a press conference yesterday at his lawyer’s office yesterday where he announced his plans to get Lindsay in rehab before she dies but really just wanted an opportunity to shove his face in the press. I mean, Christ, he even brought his star-fucker girlfriend who literally smiled for the cameras. “Everyone say ‘Lindsay’s gonna die!’ Cheese!”

Not one to miss out on delicious press, Dina also got in the act and used Lindsay’s imminent death to bitch about Michael not paying child support and tout her incredible parenting skills:

“I have a criminal protective order against him ’til 2011. He’s 1 year behind in child support and he’s using this [Lindsay's problems] as a diversion.”
Dina says, “Lindsay is in good hands. Everything is fine.” She adds, “He’s trashing a child he doesn’t even see.”

Seeing how the fact that the media already wrote Lindsay’s obituary started this whole mess, here’s The Superficial version that’s ready to go at a moment’s notice:

“It was Dina and Michael Lohan’s fault.”

I think that covers all the bases.

Photos: Fame
superficial

  1. Photoshop Police

    Has anyone in her family… or the media… ever confirmed what the heck that white cloud on her feet was from those photos?

    We all know it looked like an 8-ball of cocaine exploded in her shoe, or possibly an over application of talcum powder, but seriously.. does anyone do any actual investigation these days to find out the truth? Someone must have gotten a sample to test as she clearly was tracking it out of that place.

  2. Stop wasting your time on pointless gossip websites. Try helping out a nonprofit organization. Visit backtoschoolbackpacks.org to see how you can hep out

  3. Crusty

    This is ridiculous. I have daughters and if there was an inkling that they were in trouble and needed to have professional help in the form of a stint in a rehab facility, I’d sure as hell not waste my time or anyone else’s by orchestrating a press conference that in now way expedites the process of my child getting the help she needed.

    Obviously, some parents are gold-diggers but at some point you’d think that some level of parental instinct would kick in and Michael Lohan would spend his time actually helping Lindsay as opposed to offering hollow words about the need to help.

    We make fun of Lindsay, and she certainly is responsible for much of her grief, but with parents like her’s and the fact that she’s surrounded by self-absorbed enablers, this girl had and has zero chance at success.

    I’m officially off the “make fun of Lindsay” bandwagon and am now on the “feel sorry for Lindsay” bandwagon.

  4. the only opinion that matters

    @ BTSB….I ready this website AND I make donations to varying charities…I am a multi-tasker! PS Most of the charities I donate to are children’s charities. Don’t assume that this all people do….I just do it when I am bored at work.

    On another note, poor Lindsay, what chance does the poor girl have with those idiots for parents? Instead of doing press conferences, they should be helping their daughter (in private)…and what hell is his girlfriend doing there? What a bunch of low class trash.

  5. the only opinion that matters

    @ BTSB….I ready this website AND I make donations to varying charities…I am a multi-tasker! PS Most of the charities I donate to are children’s charities. Don’t assume that this all people do….I just do it when I am bored at work.

    On another note, poor Lindsay, what chance does the poor girl have with those idiots for parents? Instead of doing press conferences, they should be helping their daughter (in private)…and what hell is his girlfriend doing there? What a bunch of low class trash.

  6. the only opinion that matters

    @ BTSB….I ready this website AND I make donations to varying charities…I am a multi-tasker! PS Most of the charities I donate to are children’s charities. Don’t assume that this all people do….I just do it when I am bored at work.

    On another note, poor Lindsay, what chance does the poor girl have with those idiots for parents? Instead of doing press conferences, they should be helping their daughter (in private)…and what hell is his girlfriend doing there? What a bunch of low class trash.

  7. Rutty

    Give me a break Superficial… Don’t preach on how terrible these people are when you’re leaching off everything they say for whatever advertising bucks you get from this site. Don’t pretend for a moment you aren’t anxiously waiting for Lindsey to die just for the site hits.

    You can’t shit on her every move… blast her every chance you get, then call her parents dickheads.

    Make fun all you want, drag Lindsey through the mud for your blog bucks, but then don’t pretend you’re above the Michael and Dina’s of the world…

    it’s fucking pathetic.

  8. Holy click-the-Post Your Comment-button-repeatedly!

  9. Chris

    “Seeing how the fact that media already wrote Lindsay’s obituary started this whole mess, here’s The Superficial version that’s ready to go at a moment’s notice”

    You write like a 50 year old Asian lady at a massage parlor.

  10. Jess

    “Seeing how the fact that media already wrote Lindsay’s obituary started this whole mess, here’s The Superficial version that’s ready to go at a moment’s notice…”

    You write like a 50 year old Asian lady at a massage parlor.

  11. Kash

    that kate major whore is seriously fucked in the head! Gosslin AND Lohan?! She’s like a z-list star fucker, a true media scum cunt. She has no business being at that ‘confrence’ which is really just for michael, not to help his daughter. Does she think people give a shit that she’s there? NO! She’s like the white trash version of tila tequila, which isnt saying much about her character.

    I really wish these stupid people could realize how rediculous they look when they pull stunts like this, I really do.

  12. Kash

    that kate major whore is seriously fucked in the head! Gosslin AND Lohan?! She’s like a z-list star fucker, a true media scum cunt. She has no business being at that ‘confrence’ which is really just for michael, not to help his daughter. Does she think people give a shit that she’s there? NO! She’s like the white trash version of tila tequila, which isnt saying much about her character.

    I really wish these stupid people could realize how rediculous they look when they pull stunts like this, I really do.

  13. friendlystoner

    @2

    i wonder if you get the irony of telling us not waste time on sites like this and yet you have done the same as well as asking supposed time wasters for help.

    @7

    i trust your being sarcastic cos otherwise your a moron. this site is blatantly about lampooning celebrities and yet you seem shocked about this.
    “celebrities” like lohan actually need sites like this to keep the attention on them regardless of whether it is negative or not

    by the way, you coming onto this site help generate more hits, which the site owner can take to advertisers for more money. well done for aiding the so called problem you raised.

  14. Jade

    Since when did having a press conference at a lawyers office with your 20 something twit girlfriend help your daughter?? If I had her parents I think I would do drugs too. Give me a freakin break..

  15. merilhepburn

    Tara Reid is still living, there’s still hope for Lohan.

  16. Matthew

    no one belives douchbag michael and party mom dina those 2 wants fame and money they are z listers along with hohan

  17. Giorgio!

    People should raise money to higher a hit man who could eliminate these low lives, I mean Lindsay’s parents, seriously poor girl never stood a chance.

  18. abby

    #3 I’m with you, I feel sorry for a kid that has this as a role model.

    This is just awkward, what’s the deal with the blonde? I think she makes this just creepy.

  19. turd da third

    The pictures clearly show the first problem…he is opening his mouth!

  20. herbiefrog

    some people are gold diggers…

    even though related

    /…that;ss pretty sick]

    d u h ?#

  21. Kill both of them

    Honestly, I’m surprised either of these “shitiest parents of the year” is still alive. The dad doesn’t give a crap about his daughter, he just wants attention. The mom doesn’t give a crap about her daughter & LIES & ENABLES her to earn money off of her. Neither of these losers deserves to continue to breath air…

  22. dina needs to die

    So, BLOWhan is “fine; she’s in good hands”, eh Dina? You lying enabling whore; your daughter is spiraling down & all you can do is lie to cover for her. Your daughter is a drug dealer, along with being a drunk & a druggie; she’s already flushed any legitimate career she had down the tubes; selling drugs is all she has left, and you’re enabling her. When she dies soon, I hope someone offs you in a spectacularly painful & long lasting way; you deserve it, you lying enabling whore…

  23. Dina Lohan accepted a crap load of blood money from her underaged daughter. Dina Lohan is rich, while Michael Lohan has no money. This is absurb beyond comprehension.

  24. captain america

    yep…………………..AND AMERICAN, folks!!

  25. @ 12 – Kate Major is riding the coattails of coattail riders.

    It probably is rough being Lindsay with these shitty parents. At the other end is parasite Perez Hilton. It’s like a nightmare and she can’t wake up.

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  28. she dies soon, I hope someone offs you in a spectacularly painful & long lasting way

  29. Thank you for your sharing

  30. I really wish these stupid people could realize how rediculous they look when they pull stunts like this, I really do.

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  33. I really wish these stupid people could realize how rediculous they look when they pull stunts like this, I really do.

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  38. This is just awkward, what’s the deal with the blonde? I think she makes this just creepy. And “Everyone say ‘Lindsay’s gonna die!’ Cheese!” Brrrr

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