Michael Lohan held a press conference yesterday at his lawyer’s office yesterday where he announced his plans to get Lindsay in rehab before she dies but really just wanted an opportunity to shove his face in the press. I mean, Christ, he even brought his star-fucker girlfriend who literally smiled for the cameras. “Everyone say ‘Lindsay’s gonna die!’ Cheese!”
Not one to miss out on delicious press, Dina also got in the act and used Lindsay’s imminent death to bitch about Michael not paying child support and tout her incredible parenting skills:
“I have a criminal protective order against him ’til 2011. He’s 1 year behind in child support and he’s using this [Lindsay's problems] as a diversion.”
Dina says, “Lindsay is in good hands. Everything is fine.” She adds, “He’s trashing a child he doesn’t even see.”
Seeing how the fact that the media already wrote Lindsay’s obituary started this whole mess, here’s The Superficial version that’s ready to go at a moment’s notice:
“It was Dina and Michael Lohan’s fault.”
I think that covers all the bases.