Michael Lohan: ‘God is punishing Lindsay’s career’

Because dignity is dick compared to getting your face in the press, Michael Lohan is firing back against Lindsay’s accusations that he threatened to kill Dina Lohan if she ever left him.

“That’s a lie. I guess Lindsay is on more drugs than I thought to say something like that. Now I’m going to release more recordings that prove everything she is saying is nothing more than a bunch of lies.
“No wonder why God is taking her entire career away from her,” Michael continued. “Because she’s forsaken everything He’s given her and she’s done nothing but misuse all the gifts she’s given.”

I’m pretty sure being a Michael Lohan-fertilized egg in Dina Lohan’s uterus is ultimately what killed Lindsay’s career, but it’s nice to see his main concern is to prove he’s right even if it involves releasing more private phone calls to do it. Also, anyone finding it odd that Michael Lohan records all his phone conversations? Jon Gosselin is probably sitting at home right now trying to figure out how many times he’s on tape saying “So another one laughed at my penis again.”