Michael Lohan gets one-hour special to ‘expose Dina Lohan’

After getting his nuts kicked in on Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson’s blog, Michael Lohan has magically acquired a one-hour TV special where he’ll ‘expose’ ex-wife Dina Lohan who he claims is the one that told him Samantha Ronson is writing a tell-all book. Of course, Michael can’t say what network his “special” is on, or when it will air, but believe him, it’s the real deal. TVGuide.com has the exclusive:

“I have it all on tape — all recorded, time and date-stamped,” he said. “You will hear it all. I have 101 text messages between Lindsay and I, and I have about 60 tape recordings of Dina.”
Because of contractual agreements, Lohan cannot specify the name of the special or on what network it will air, but insisted it is “definitely” happening.
“It might be broken up into parts, but it’s going to be done,” he said. “These lies have to stop. She can’t say all these things to me and when I try to address it, deny everything. Dina’s a hypocrite and I’m tired of it.”
“I’ve never taken or earned one penny from my daughter. Meanwhile, all the people around her, including her mother, are earning money off of her,” he said. “They want publicity. They’re there for self-serving reasons. I didn’t have my own reality TV show.”

‘I didn’t have my own reality TV show.’ And look what whining got you. I guarantee this special, if it exists, will run at one a.m. against an episode of Family Guy where Peter makes a non-sequitur reference to the 80s, so you know what I’ll be watching that night: Porn.