Michael Lohan and Kate Major are engaged

April 7th, 2010 // 33 Comments

Clearly seeing transparent press conferences involving Lindsay Lohan’s drug addictions as a ticket to fame, starfucker Kate Major is engaged to Michael Lohan. Us Magazine reports:

Lohan says he was waiting for the “situation with Lindsay to resolve” before announcing the engagement. He has been encouraging his troubled daughter to enter rehab.
“[Two weeks ago], I went down to Florida with Kate to visit her dad. I was in a hot tub with her dad at their house, and I said, ‘There’s something we have to talk about.’ He said, ‘Oh my God, don’t tell me Kate’s pregnant!’” Lohan jokes. “I told him I was looking at the future, and I wanted to make it formal and take it to the next level. After that, he approved, then Kate and I discussed it and she discussed it with her dad.”

So Michael Lohan was basically waiting for Lindsay to die but decided to get naked with Kate Major’s dad and propose marriage anyway? I honestly can’t think of a more perfect love story except I just did and it involves two people meeting at a gang-bang.

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  1. JERK

    FIRST

  2. Beeotch

    So Michael Lohan and his future father in law are naked in the hot tub together….a condom floats up and one of them asks “who farted?”

  3. El bago douche

  4. they deserve each other. I think he is a happy man that is why she had got the kate.

  5. Doc Schweinstrudel

    Ew. Congratuations. Ew. Congratulations. Ew.

  6. Darth

    John Gosselin,Michael Lohan!? That’s quite an impressive record for a girl.

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  8. Don Boogie

    I honestly can’t think of two people who deserve each other more. Ok maybe Spencer and Heidi…but you get my point.

  9. Michael in pics – “No cameras, please. I’m a very private person. My only wish is to be left alone.”

    “I told him I was looking at the future, one with his daughter changing my diapers and me being dead probably a good 40+ years before her.”

    Kate Major rides the coattails of other coattail riders.

  10. Gail

    You mean he’s off the market!?!! Oh rats! I’ve always wanted a great guy like that for myself.

    (retch retch)

  11. captain america

    ……………….please STOP living right away!!

  12. Kate Major's Lose Vajayjay

    Jon Gosselin’s biggest mistake was ever hanging out with this tool.

    From the second he met Michael Lohan his life went downhill.

    Why did Gosselin think that a guy who exploits his relationship with his own daughter 24/7 wouldn’t do the same to him?

    As for Major? She was nothing more than a prostitute hired to reel in Gosselin.

    She’s one of Lohan’s camp followers, with her open vagina pointed at the next celebrity Michael wants to drink with.

  13. BigFatHussy

    John Gosselin. Michael Lohan…

    Who’s next, Richie Sambora? Bill Clinton?

  14. Kanju Puppranzi

    Only in America can a man become famous for seriously f*cking up his kid’s head! You should be ashamed of yourself for even posting this story.

  15. Gail

    Yeah, in other countries dictators and mass murderers are the famous ones. Fucking up their kids is just some neat-o side effect. C’mon, USA! Get it together people!

  16. HLM

    Fish: It’s a HUGE stretch to call Kate Major a star-fucker. A better title would be Wants-To-Be-A-Star-But-Doesn’t-Have-Any-Actual-Talent-Fucker.

    And seriously…she had to “discuss” marrying Michael Lohan with her dad? What is she….a 16 year old? Grow up and grow some balls, lady. Especially since the men you tie yourself to don’t have any to begin with. No wonder Michael likes her…she’s got daddy issues.

    Nice to know that Michael like Jon’s sloppy seconds. I’d puke too if I was Lindsey. (Of course, puking is a daily occurence for her so I don’t know why she bothered tweeting that.)

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    1.I still don’t believe Jon was seeing or humping her, she wanted everyone to think that. They stepped out of a cab together…
    2. It will be funny when Michael kicks her in the crotch.
    3. Darwinism will cancel them out.
    4. She looks ten years older then she is (amphetamines)

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  20. Kristen

    I wonder who was the bottom?

  21. Nice to know that Michael like Jon’s sloppy seconds. I’d puke too if I was Lindsey. (Of course, puking is a daily occurence for her so I don’t know why she bothered tweeting that.)

  22. Flipper

    Stop wearing an Air Force ball cap!

  23. to know that Michael like Jon’s sloppy seconds. I’d puke too if I was Lindsey. (Of course, puking is a daily occurence for her so I don’t know why she bothered tweeting that.)

  24. Way back before she became Barbies clone, she has bugged me since the moment I laid eyes on her. Not for how plain looking she naturally was but her personality is that of a dinner plate. I couldn’t tell you what Irked me about her but it is something way deep down inside her, underneath the plastic shell in the hallow depths of her soul.

  25. I found myself transformed into a wolf, even if has even more than greed that drives me to launch another fierce attack! Desire to have my heart shackling me mercilessly captured.

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