Michael Jackson’s animals have not been abused

tn_michael_jackson_white_cr.jpgSo, I’m curious. What is the age of consent for a giraffe, anyway?

The Department of Agriculture sent an inspector to the 2,600-acre ranch in Central California last month in response to a complaint from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. PETA based its complaint on European tabloid reports that animals were being kept in substandard conditions.

“I’m unaware of any violations of the Animal Welfare Act at Neverland,” Darby Holladay, a spokesman with the USDA in Washington, said Tuesday.

Is there any celebrity that’s wasted more of America’s good will than Michael Jackson? Ok, Whitney Houston, but who else? Really, I wanna know. Even though it took thrity years, it’s shocking to see what Michael Jackson has become. This is where you scientists out there need to get on your grind. If you invent a time machine, you can go back to ’83 like Doc Brown, and show Mike what he becomes. Then maybe he’d lay off the surgery and the being insane.

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