TMZ reports Michael Jackson was rushed to the hospital this afternoon after suffering cardiac arrest. Paramedics performed CPR in the ambulance, and his mother is en route.
So let’s say, hypothetically speaking, my first and audible reaction was “Man, I hope it’s not a children’s hospital.” Does that make me a bad person?
UPDATE: His brothers are on their way to UCLA, and Michael’s dad says he is “not doing well.” I see regret in my future.
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lotta | June 25, 2009 at 5:10 pm
ruh roh
janet jackson | June 25, 2009 at 5:10 pm
Just beat it.
dude | June 25, 2009 at 5:15 pm
He looked at a Playboy spread…poor guy (girl)?
Hmmm | June 25, 2009 at 5:16 pm
Yes
bighead | June 25, 2009 at 5:17 pm
They say bad things come in 3s. Ed McMahon. Farrah Fawcett. and now maybe Michael Jackson?????
frankie steel | June 25, 2009 at 5:17 pm
He fucked you losers up the ass
dudester | June 25, 2009 at 5:17 pm
Pastor: “God is neither black nor white, male nor female, straight nor gay.”
Pastor’s Daughter: “Daddy, Is God Michael Jackson?”
Womb Raider | June 25, 2009 at 5:19 pm
It’s the rule of thirds. First Ed McMahon, then Farrah Fawcett…MJ’s gonna bite the bullet, I can feel it.
Ray Doggy Dogg | June 25, 2009 at 5:19 pm
‘So let’s say, hypothetically speaking, my first and audible reaction was “Man, I hope it’s not a children’s hospital.” Does that make me a bad person?’
No, it makes you one of the many people who remembers that this guy is quite likely a pedophile who bought his way out of going to jail.
John | June 25, 2009 at 5:24 pm
He probably saw a bagina for the first time……
The Apocalypse | June 25, 2009 at 5:27 pm
I’m curious what he puts down as ethnicity when the paperwork is being filled out…
Prince of Palpitations | June 25, 2009 at 5:27 pm
TEE He
Deacon Jones | June 25, 2009 at 5:29 pm
Thriller – Best album ever.
And cardiac arrest? Must be from the anorexia
Rick | June 25, 2009 at 5:33 pm
He went into cardiac arrest when he heard that at a big store boys pants were half off.
dink squeeze | June 25, 2009 at 5:33 pm
RIP Micheal :’(
Moose Knuckle | June 25, 2009 at 5:36 pm
I hope no one had to do mouth to mouth, can you imagine…
“ugh, so that’s what 8 yr old tastes like!”
ktb ( . ) ( . ) | June 25, 2009 at 5:37 pm
Probably just a ploy to get out of his craptastic tour obligations. Seriously.
Would make for a great apartment in the sky though, don’t ya think?
Ed, Farrah, and Michael. What a party that would be, except no children for Michael to touch…he’ll probably just sulk in the corner…grabbing his crotch.
OffTheWall | June 25, 2009 at 5:37 pm
I thought “Off The Wall” was his best personally. All became irrelevent after it became obvious he likes children more than girls (over 18). Anything that occupies his time so he can’t do children is a good thing. If this it for him that too is a good thing.
Jenny | June 25, 2009 at 5:40 pm
Dear #2– your comment made me spit half-chewed carrots out of my mouth.
…still laughing as I clean the keyboard
mikeock | June 25, 2009 at 5:40 pm
Ed McMahon, Farrah and Michael for the three-peat.
Erina | June 25, 2009 at 5:43 pm
Well… They say it happens in 3′s… But, I sure hope hope Michael gets through this. It would be a huge loss for the music industry.
Womb Raider | June 25, 2009 at 5:44 pm
TMZ is reporting he’s dead.
Anti-Hero! | June 25, 2009 at 5:44 pm
And now he died. WOW! Didnt see that coming! RIP
Erina | June 25, 2009 at 5:44 pm
OMG Michael just died…. RIP you were loved by many…
Anti-Hero! | June 25, 2009 at 5:44 pm
And now he died. WOW! Didnt see that coming! RIP
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Megan | June 25, 2009 at 5:47 pm
15 – He’s not dead yet?
It sucks though.
Sarah Palin | June 25, 2009 at 5:47 pm
God struck him down.
Don’t you dare mourn for this unrepentant sinner.
Man in the Mirror | June 25, 2009 at 5:48 pm
I hope this fucker suffers. In the old days before American society was stolen from us by we all know who, this freak of human self-indulgence would have disappeared and been beaten out in the woods somewhere.
As for the homo that thinks that any of his shit is good music I truly pity your lack of intellect. This fag was an entertainer and a wierdo singer and nothing more. Yeah “Off the Wall was ok” for light mindless background music.
Die nutcake.
Ella | June 25, 2009 at 5:48 pm
Oh no…. I seriously hope this isn’t true. *tears*
pete | June 25, 2009 at 5:49 pm
In an ironic twist, he triggered a fatal heart attack while choking on a tiny penis.
mikeock | June 25, 2009 at 5:49 pm
Well, at least he’ll never decompose.
Megan | June 25, 2009 at 5:49 pm
Aaaanndd I am wrong. RIP.
Jay | June 25, 2009 at 5:50 pm
RIP gloved-one
jnjoblon | June 25, 2009 at 5:51 pm
I just got a txt that he died, went online to TMZ and they are saying the same thing. A few other news sites are reporting the same.
Holy crap
The Real anthonyOA | June 25, 2009 at 5:52 pm
damn. i remember moonwalking infront of my tv as a kid. :(
we’ll miss u michael. the original king of pop.
sokandi | June 25, 2009 at 5:52 pm
He is dead!!! Update this crap
Corey Feldman | June 25, 2009 at 5:53 pm
I’m going to miss you so much, you made me feel so special.
The Juice Is Loose | June 25, 2009 at 5:53 pm
Well that’s one way to get out of having to pay back your creditors.
Jesus Christ HIMSELF | June 25, 2009 at 5:53 pm
“RIP”?????????????????
You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. The very last person who will be permitted to “rest in peace” is a fucking degenerate child molester like this sick fuck. Along with – listen up, retards – his sick fucking “fans”.
Jenny | June 25, 2009 at 5:53 pm
He has died, according to TMZ
Nick | June 25, 2009 at 5:53 pm
I don’t believe TMZ. No actual news source is reporting that MJ is dead.
clarkehead | June 25, 2009 at 5:54 pm
No major news outlets have reported him dead yet. Don’t jump the gun. TMZ is not a credited news organization, remember.
Lauren | June 25, 2009 at 5:55 pm
TMZ has just reported him dead.
AC | June 25, 2009 at 5:56 pm
Yes, that comment actually makes you a real A-HOLE!
mikeock | June 25, 2009 at 5:56 pm
I wonder if they’ll cremate him or just light the wick in his head and let him slowly burn away to strains of Billy Jean.
alez | June 25, 2009 at 5:57 pm
He didn’t die, there’s no DNA left to prove it’s him. He had it bleached, and plastic surgeried out.
Parker | June 25, 2009 at 5:57 pm
Even if the worst should happen, always remember the words of the great Jennifer Aniston: “There are no regrets in life, just….lessons.”
haha “boys pants half off” that’s a good one.
I admit, all I’m really thinking about now is porking Jennifer Aniston in the ass.
titsonsnack | June 25, 2009 at 5:57 pm
It’s not just TMZ, go to news.google.com and type in “michael jackson dead” – it’s all over the news
Natalie | June 25, 2009 at 6:01 pm
This should be deleted