Michael Jackson suffers cardiac arrest

June 25th, 2009 // 108 Comments

TMZ reports Michael Jackson was rushed to the hospital this afternoon after suffering cardiac arrest. Paramedics performed CPR in the ambulance, and his mother is en route.

So let’s say, hypothetically speaking, my first and audible reaction was “Man, I hope it’s not a children’s hospital.” Does that make me a bad person?

UPDATE: His brothers are on their way to UCLA, and Michael’s dad says he is “not doing well.” I see regret in my future.

Photos: WENN

  1. lotta

    ruh roh

  2. janet jackson

    Just beat it.

  3. dude

    He looked at a Playboy spread…poor guy (girl)?

  4. bighead

    They say bad things come in 3s. Ed McMahon. Farrah Fawcett. and now maybe Michael Jackson?????

  5. frankie steel

    He fucked you losers up the ass

  6. dudester

    Pastor: “God is neither black nor white, male nor female, straight nor gay.”

    Pastor’s Daughter: “Daddy, Is God Michael Jackson?”

  7. Womb Raider

    It’s the rule of thirds. First Ed McMahon, then Farrah Fawcett…MJ’s gonna bite the bullet, I can feel it.

  8. Ray Doggy Dogg

    ‘So let’s say, hypothetically speaking, my first and audible reaction was “Man, I hope it’s not a children’s hospital.” Does that make me a bad person?’

    No, it makes you one of the many people who remembers that this guy is quite likely a pedophile who bought his way out of going to jail.

  9. John

    He probably saw a bagina for the first time……

  10. The Apocalypse

    I’m curious what he puts down as ethnicity when the paperwork is being filled out…

  11. Prince of Palpitations

    TEE He

  12. Deacon Jones

    Thriller – Best album ever.

    And cardiac arrest? Must be from the anorexia

  13. Rick

    He went into cardiac arrest when he heard that at a big store boys pants were half off.

  14. dink squeeze

    RIP Micheal :’(

  15. Moose Knuckle

    I hope no one had to do mouth to mouth, can you imagine…

    “ugh, so that’s what 8 yr old tastes like!”

  16. ktb ( . ) ( . )

    Probably just a ploy to get out of his craptastic tour obligations. Seriously.
    Would make for a great apartment in the sky though, don’t ya think?
    Ed, Farrah, and Michael. What a party that would be, except no children for Michael to touch…he’ll probably just sulk in the corner…grabbing his crotch.

  17. OffTheWall

    I thought “Off The Wall” was his best personally. All became irrelevent after it became obvious he likes children more than girls (over 18). Anything that occupies his time so he can’t do children is a good thing. If this it for him that too is a good thing.

  18. Jenny

    Dear #2– your comment made me spit half-chewed carrots out of my mouth.

    …still laughing as I clean the keyboard

  19. mikeock

    Ed McMahon, Farrah and Michael for the three-peat.

  20. Erina

    Well… They say it happens in 3′s… But, I sure hope hope Michael gets through this. It would be a huge loss for the music industry.

  21. Womb Raider

    TMZ is reporting he’s dead.

  22. Anti-Hero!

    And now he died. WOW! Didnt see that coming! RIP

  23. Erina

    OMG Michael just died…. RIP you were loved by many…

  24. Anti-Hero!

    And now he died. WOW! Didnt see that coming! RIP

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  26. Megan

    15 – He’s not dead yet?

    It sucks though.

  27. Sarah Palin

    God struck him down.

    Don’t you dare mourn for this unrepentant sinner.

  28. Man in the Mirror

    I hope this fucker suffers. In the old days before American society was stolen from us by we all know who, this freak of human self-indulgence would have disappeared and been beaten out in the woods somewhere.
    As for the homo that thinks that any of his shit is good music I truly pity your lack of intellect. This fag was an entertainer and a wierdo singer and nothing more. Yeah “Off the Wall was ok” for light mindless background music.

    Die nutcake.

  29. Ella

    Oh no…. I seriously hope this isn’t true. *tears*

  30. pete

    In an ironic twist, he triggered a fatal heart attack while choking on a tiny penis.

  31. mikeock

    Well, at least he’ll never decompose.

  32. Megan

    Aaaanndd I am wrong. RIP.

  33. Jay

    RIP gloved-one

  34. jnjoblon

    I just got a txt that he died, went online to TMZ and they are saying the same thing. A few other news sites are reporting the same.
    Holy crap

  35. damn. i remember moonwalking infront of my tv as a kid. :(

    we’ll miss u michael. the original king of pop.

  36. sokandi

    He is dead!!! Update this crap

  37. Corey Feldman

    I’m going to miss you so much, you made me feel so special.

  38. The Juice Is Loose

    Well that’s one way to get out of having to pay back your creditors.

  39. Jesus Christ HIMSELF


    You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. The very last person who will be permitted to “rest in peace” is a fucking degenerate child molester like this sick fuck. Along with – listen up, retards – his sick fucking “fans”.

  40. Jenny

    He has died, according to TMZ

  41. Nick

    I don’t believe TMZ. No actual news source is reporting that MJ is dead.

  42. clarkehead

    No major news outlets have reported him dead yet. Don’t jump the gun. TMZ is not a credited news organization, remember.

  43. Lauren

    TMZ has just reported him dead.

  44. AC

    Yes, that comment actually makes you a real A-HOLE!

  45. mikeock

    I wonder if they’ll cremate him or just light the wick in his head and let him slowly burn away to strains of Billy Jean.

  46. alez

    He didn’t die, there’s no DNA left to prove it’s him. He had it bleached, and plastic surgeried out.

  47. Parker

    Even if the worst should happen, always remember the words of the great Jennifer Aniston: “There are no regrets in life, just….lessons.”

    haha “boys pants half off” that’s a good one.

    I admit, all I’m really thinking about now is porking Jennifer Aniston in the ass.

  48. titsonsnack

    It’s not just TMZ, go to news.google.com and type in “michael jackson dead” – it’s all over the news

  49. Natalie

    This should be deleted

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