Michael Jackson looking to fill the void left by Chris Brown

March 5th, 2009 // 86 Comments

With Chris Brown out of the way, the time is rife for Michael Jackson to recapture that young male audience. The King of Pop announced a comeback tour today in London because, as Madonna has proved, who doesn’t love a 50-year-old dancing skeleton? Reuters reports:

“Thank you all…this is it,” said Jackson from behind a pair of dark glasses.
“These will be my final shows … performances in London. When I say this is it, I mean this is it. I’ll be performing the songs my fans want to hear. This is it, this is really it, this is the final curtain call.”

I included the video after the jump which is probably the most bizarre thing I’ve seen in a while. Mostly because Michael Jackson is surprisingly lucid for a man whose face defies every known law of science. No, really, if someone told him the Hadron Collider could make him look exactly like Disney’s Peter Pan, he’d have it embedded in his nostril. True story.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. He should worry about filling the void of his nose.

  2. AJ

    I normally don’t post here, but I am so tired of Geekologie users stealing my deserved first post, so I thought I do it here.

    First Bitches!

  3. AJ

    I normally don’t post here, but I am so tired of Geekologie users stealing my deserved first post, so I thought I do it here.

    First Bitches!

  4. queen

    Interesting!
    My friend recommended me a very interesting place *** Affluentmeet Com *** It ‘s where you have the opportunity dreaming about dating a millionaire and make it true!

  5. Beastman AIDS

    #2 & #3
    In the time it took you to explain how your firsts get stolen on geekologie your first got stolen.
    And you double posted.
    Sucks to be you.

    Also – agreed on the lucid speaking thing. I’m shocked.

  6. Ralph

    Am I the only one who noticed that this man wears lipstick AND he applies it past his lip line?

  7. Ang

    No, seriously, this time, this is it. His final shows. After that, only decades of continuous uninterrupted child rape.

  8. Tom K

    Michael Jackson! The ultimate self loather! Does anyone find it hilarious that he looks like a 70 year old white woman? lol

    Why doesn’t he just stop trying to be a superstar, he had his time, he was talented, he made his money, but now he’s old, scary looking and obvious pedophile. Just go into hiding or die!

  9. Tart

    I still don’t fully understand why he’s white now. Wasn’t he black for, like, 20 years?

  10. Tart

    I still don’t fully understand why he’s white now. Wasn’t he black for, like, 20 years?

  11. shanipie

    Ya know what…WHATEVER to all of you!
    I love MJ. He’s awesome and I love him. He is a weird person but ya know what a lot of celebs get away wth a lot of shit that was proven and we still love them. MJ is awesome.

  12. king of posts

    haters can hate, but mj IS the king of pop. i wonder if he meant that these are his final shows ever, or just the final ones in london?

  13. ak

    Know what? Even though he is certifiable and freaky looking, I would KILL to go to one of those shows in London. I honestly hope this is NOT it and that I eventually get to go to one of his concerts.

  14. TS

    It’s just a matter of time before Mimi chimes in and says “Michael Jackson rocks and Fish sux”.

  15. California Red

    funny how being broke results in him acting almost normal.

    Don’t hate MJ. This is all the result of Mr. Joe Jackson’s inappropriate upbringing of his young children.

  16. Laughing idiot

    Fish that was hilarious!
    Mikey likes to molest little boys. By the way what was his “talent”? Singing like an effeminate homosexual with a Peter Pan complex? Do you “fans” ever listen to real music?
    I hope his face rots off.
    Pedophiles need to be put to death.

  17. Could someone be less relevant?

  18. I love watching his face eat itself. It’s like a visual aid for mental illness.

  19. Apes in the White House

    Even though Michael Jackson removed all of his Simean features, he’s still just another porch monkey that’s incapable of normal human behavior and financial responsibility.

  20. Matthew

    he is a pedpohile and got away having sex with childern

  21. JPRichardson

    That looks like an albino monkey with a wig a too much lipstick. But he was cool in the 80′s. WAY cool.

  22. nichole

    “The King of Pop announced a comeback tour today in London because, as Madonna has proved, who doesn’t love a 50-year-old dancing skeleton? ”

    That made me laugh out loud. Literally. Thanks!

  23. SB

    who is this guy? does anybody know?

  24. ___

    It’s a funny thing abour someone like #19. On one hand you read his comments and the first thing that comes to mind is some mouth breathing inbred redneck or some ignorant blue collar kkk redneck (wearing a dirty wife beater in either case). But on the other hand here that person is cruising the celebrity tabloid websites. Seems like kind of a contradiction. One things for certain, in one way or another, he’s a poser because you can’t be both ways.

    Another thing’s for sure, he’s totaly worthless because every time he posts, he says the exact same thing. The words might be different, but the message is exactly the same.

    Dude, you;re no better than those who you hate. No better. Clearly you have no job, are totally ignorant and are probably a drug dealer. The only difference you’re selling meth to your white trash friends, not crack. What a great job your whore mom did with you. You turned out great. What a douchebag fucknut. Fuck you and fuck your mother.

  25. mambo

    in the mormon bible, black people are born black because of sins in their previous life. but by doing enough good in the world it’s possible for them to turn white.
    oh and they also believe God lives on another planet.

    anyways, this is awesome news. i remember his world tour back in 91/92 when I was around 7-8. my parents couldn’t get tickets in time, so we stayed outside the arena to watch his bus pull up and then we listened from outside.
    the tickets for this will be through the roof, and I can’t justify paying the amount because for all we know he’ll probably just have a choir perform most of the songs like at his last performance. feck that!

  26. feckless

    Let’s see you fix this one Randall.

  27. friendlyfires

    Hasn’t that bad excuse of a nose ruined his singing voice? He sounds very nasal, too.

  28. Randal

    Well, it’s certainly going to be the hot ticket in London by far. Michael is an amazing act on stage and certainly hasn’t lost his touch when it comes to the moves he’ll bust out for all.

    Once an MJ fan, always an MJ fan.

    Randal

  29. havoc

    I swear to God….that’s straight out of Planet of the Apes. Seriously, he looks like Helena Bonham Carter in that fucking movie.

    .

  30. Where's Darkwing Duck?

    @16
    You are an idiot. Micheal Jackson paved the way for todays performers. Wow cool dace steps, yeah got em from MJ. Like those beats, yeah got em from MJ. Wow Awesome music video, got the idea from MJ. The guy’s a wierdo for sure but honestly everything that has been done in pop music was done by Michael first. So educate yourself a little on the history of pop music before you open your ignorant 12 year old mouth.

  31. I just mortgaged my house to buy as many tickets as I possibly can. It’s going to be like a private show. And by that I mean lapdance.

  32. Lavinia

    I love the title of your article.you’re funny.

  33. Tiffanany

    Only in America can a poor, black boy grow up to be a rich white woman!!!

  34. Darkwing duck is dead

    #30? I don’t listen to POP music you little bitch. I have better things to do with my music time. I like classical, old jazz, ethnic folk, hard rock and heavy metal, etc. I am really not at all interested in observing homosexuals “dance” and make strange noises and a song style of a sissy trying to portray himself as Omnipotent as seemed to be the theme in a lot of his videos that I unfortunately have seen over the years.
    12 years old? I wish I was!
    And by the way, you are now officially out of the closet. Now get back inside, faggot.

  35. Nero

    Eww! The photo is overwhelming! And i’ve seen a lot!

  36. yikes

    I remember being a kid and arguing for how much better Michael and the Jackson 5 were than Donny and the Osmonds.
    Now, they all give me the creeps.

  37. WilD

    Why did this feel like a skit from Chappelle’s Show.?

  38. feckless

    Randall, congratulations on carefully avoiding Michael’s taste in clothing! Seven chinese sweatshop workers died knitting those frogs together.

  39. Where's Darkwing Duck?

    @30
    So, because of your musical preferences you are allowed to talk shit about one of the greatest artists/performers of all time? Really? Pull your head out of your ass & try to show a little respect for the wierdo. He’s called the King of Pop for a reason. He’s worked with top producers, musicians (Paul McCartney what?), actors, sports icons & has one of the largest fanbases ever. So please, I understand you think you’re superior to others because you don’t like “pop music” but you’re not. Now, please go back to smoking your clove cigarettes, drinking black coffee & cutting yourself.

  40. AndresV

    I don’t get people who complain about offensive , immature or inappropriate comments on this and other trashy websites. That is precisely the point. The anonymity that the internet provides, plus widespread access and ease of use leads to the likes of #19′s rants…. being shocked and/or disgusted is like looking into a porta-potty at the New York Marathon and being surprised or grossed out at all the shit in there. If you want intelligent, civilized and productive dialog, here’s my advice: don’t read the comments!

  41. chichick99

    I love him! So glad to see him doing well. I hope those London shows will be recorded. I’m happy to see him sharing his immense talent once again.

  42. sunylove

    This is a great news!! so, for celebration, I want to recommend you lonely guys who hate lonely nights a great online club to meet your activity partner, romance and lover, either for heat or passion: ____Tallmingle C om_____ the most popular place for hot modelss, handsome men meet and mingle! u might be surprise what u end up with!!LOL :-)

  43. Courtyardpigeon

    I don’t think he’s too old if he was a normal human being, but whatever he has become is too old to be in public.

  44. #30 you said “@16
    You are an idiot. Micheal Jackson paved the way for todays performers. Wow cool dace steps, yeah got em from MJ. Like those beats, yeah got em from MJ.”
    __________________________________________________________

    Um, no actually Michael Jackson stole a lot of his dance moves from Jackie Wilson, and as for his cool beats, i’m sure that Quincy Jones had nothing to do with that…oh and as for paving the way for todays performers…I’m just guessing here that Pink, Michael Bubble, Katy Perry, and John Mayer don’t owe a thing to Michael Jackson. So unless Bobby Brown is staging a comeback that I’m unaware of you may want to tone down your worship of the guy a notch or two.

  45. lattygirl

    yeah, it’ll definitely be the end…. until you blow another 30million dollars and waste every dollar you have… idiot.

  46. Number 39 said “”So, because of your musical preferences you are allowed to talk shit about one of the greatest artists/performers of all time? Really? Pull your head out of your ass & try to show a little respect for the wierdo. He’s called the King of Pop for a reason. ”
    ____________________________________________

    Yeah, actually he’s called the King of Pop because his publicists way back in the 80′s told MTV that he wouldn’t appear at the VMA’s unless they started referring to him as the “King of Pop” so they did. It wasn’t a randomly chosen title, he demanded it. As for him having one of the larges fanbases in the world, I believe copies of his Cd’s are selling not at all. All of his CD’s together are selling less per year than 1/10th of what even older CD’s like The eagles Greatest hits, or even GREASE are selling so it would seem his former fans have abandoned him. Now give yourself an enema, take a deep breath and relax, the medication should be kicking in soon.

  47. Not even trying to be funny here, but I truly believe that he now has a prostetic nose. Look at, it’s not even the same color.

    But that begs the question, if you could have a fake nose made, why would you make it look like that….

    At least Tyco Brahe had a nose made of gold…

  48. ODG

    I scrolled down to that post…

    AND IT SCARED ME!!!!

    I literally jumped away from the screen…

  49. Step

    at least he’s not Scientologist or Kabbalah brainwashed …

  50. titsonsnack

    He’s alright for a shape-shifting old child molester.

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