Michael Jackson: ‘Know who never gets accused of touching kids? Zorro.’

December 13th, 2008 // 80 Comments

Michael Jackson ran around Beverly Hills last night wearing a black mask and fedora which I can only assume means he’s decided to go “full child molestor.” He’s already growing a mustache, so the rickety van purchase can’t be far behind. Wait, is that a map to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s house in his pocket? No, seriously, there’s a giant red “X” with the words “Shangri-La” written above it.

Photos: National Photo, The Sun

  1. nancy


  2. first


    thats fuckin gross

  3. Yvonne


  4. Henry

    “Hey, Kids, I made you a mix CD!”

  5. me

    Poor poor Jacko. I’m still rootin’ for a come back. I mean c’mon, if Brit Brit can do it you can too!!

  6. mandi

    this will haunt my dreams.

  7. Me

    Anyone posting after Me sucks on Michael Jackson’s bleached penis

  8. Sport

    It’s obvious looking at this ‘man’ that there is absolutely nothing wrong with the guy.

  9. Me 2

    The poster before me lick’s MJ’s butthole with a spoon and chocolate syrup to make it seem more “Black”

    Why do people find MJ sane?
    Anyone else would have been thrown into solitary confinement!

  10. Jeeeesus

    What is wrong with these people cheering him? Do they not see the fucking horror movie in front of them?

    Rabid MJ fans prove the world is full of morons

  11. bootlips

    He can have all the plastic surgery in the world but he’ll still be a nigger.

  12. TJ

    Bootlips – that is disgusting. Keep your racism to yourself.

  13. abcd


  14. netstarman

    Jacko lips are actually made out of cowboy boots , since his nose is falling off and he doesn’t want to scare the little boys away. He had to go the cheaper route on keeping his overly done face with house hold parts.

  15. Matthew

    wacko jacko is at it again

  16. For the up coming tv sweep! Maury Pauvich should put a hairless young(blond)boy in a room with Micheal and a hidden cam and let the sparks flyes!!! (dont steal my idea please)…

  17. Jon Rutter

    I wish someone would kill this fag

  18. That second picture is probably the freakiest fucking thing I’ve ever seen!

  19. TJ

    I’ve changed my mind about #11, bootlips. bootlips is right with one exception, Jackson isn’t just any old nigger, he’s a pedo-nigger.

    There, see bootlips! Now we’ve both learned something.

  20. “come here little boys… come play with zorro… but wait… dont forget that zorro is afraid of pants… so take them off…”

    what a freak…


  21. britney's weave

    Oh. My. God.

    thanks, fish. now i’m going to have nightmares. he looks like freddy krueger in this pic.

  22. vito

    That motherfucker is as screwy as a pig’s tail!

  23. CaptainMorgan

    MJ (to his publicist): I feel like we should go a different direction. I’m tired of being portrayed as the bad guy.

    Publicist: Great idea Mike! We could make you into a Hero. Superheroes are big these days. Parents and kids would love it! It’s a sure thing!

    MJ: Ooo! Could I be a robot?

    Publicist: No.

    MJ: A fairy?

    Publicist: No. How about someone that has a classic appeal. Blast from the past so to speak…hmmm…

    MJ: Ooo! Tonto! I love Tonto.

    Publicist: No, you need to be white. The lone ranger?

    MJ: Zorro! He wears a mask and gets to poke things with his sword!
    (gets up and runs towards the door)

    Publicist: NO! Wait…that’s NOT a good idea!


    Publicist: Oh shit.

  24. DogDink

    “This is not the Micheal Jackson you are looking for…”

    It’s a trap! Don’t fall for it. This is a stunt double creating a diversion so the REAL Michael Jackson can grope and fondle kids in the “ball room” at Ikea.

  25. I wonder just what is going on his warped mind. It doesn’t bear thinking about. Yuck!

  26. I wonder just what is going on his warped mind. It doesn’t bear thinking about. Yuck!

  27. Styxchix

    This guy is nuttier than a fruitcake. All of those photos creep me out – what the hell is he thinking?? If he was even attempting to be incognito then that ain’t exactly an outfit to allow a quiet life……….. this is the stuff of nightmares.

  28. who does he have sex with?

  29. Dave

    That is one scary mother fucker.

  30. It's Me Fuckers!!

    freak is the one word to describe this freaky bastard. He just keeps getting stranger and scarier everytime he appears in public. Can you imagine what his kids are living like? How bad he is warping their little minds? What it is like growing up with THAT as a ‘father’. Why are his kids white when he was black? You would think there would be SOME black genes if he was their real ‘father’.

    I can’t wait to read his kid’s biographies when they are old enough to get the fuck away from this guy. They should make millions from their stories. “MJ. My dad. The freak and child lover.”

  31. Axabitte

    I’m a little bit terrified to see how he looks on Halloween…

  32. AdamYYZ


    Fuck me in the ass with a pogo stick, I’m going to have night terrors for a month.

  33. mee

    And to think they used to ramble on about what a freak Marilyn Manson is. This guy takes the cake.

  34. Jess

    Jeeeesus and other dirty mouths, people like you make me feel sad. I feel sorry for you. hope you learn something one day, and perhaps achieve something in life

  35. Mary

    MJ still has millions of fans, a lot of girls find him sexy. Most of my friends do. I must admit its surprising, cos MJ is 50, and the girls are hot 20 something year olds. Just proves he is loved and can make a comeback! I wonder how many hot fans the guys posting here have……

  36. MJ just gets creepier and creepier with each photo that he appears in. Gross.

  37. mimi

    Why don’t you people grow up and get a life. MJ is an angel to most of us. He is a beautiful man with a heart of gold and has composed some of the most important music in history. What have you assholes done?

  38. tahnee

    holy crap. mimi, you are crazier than wacko jacko himself.

  39. Renelle

    It looks like he had more surgery and messed up his eye.

  40. Natty Dread

    this is so scary.

  41. ummm...yeah

    Once again…SHUT THE FUCK UP mimi….
    Micheal Jackson is a disgrace…they need to put his ass in jail, or an insane asylum, out of the reach of anyones’ children.
    Mary, your friends are brain dead sluts…who the fuck cares what they think?
    Trust me if they think this motherfucker is sexy…they sincerly have fuckin problems.

  42. mimi

    I am a stupid certifiable lunatic. I know I’m loved though, because even if the mental institution no longer misses me, I know that somewhere a village is missing its idiot . . .

  43. Beests

    There is nothing scarier than when someone goes so insane that they have a perma-grin plastered on their face. When that happens, you are entering John Wayne Gacy-land. OJ Simpson and Sharon Stone are the same way.

  44. Do FreeBird

    When I look at Pic #2, I could swear the crazy bastard has plumped his lips with colagen. Pucker up baby!

    And Mimi you vapid cunt, I’m not sure if he composed anything immortal, but I am sure that his face is decomposing very nicely.

  45. Lemmy Caution

    This seems normal

  46. I’m gonna have nightmares tonight.


  47. The Kimono Dragon! I think we may have been the only ones on the planet inspired by these photos – we were inspired to create the Top Ten Superhero/Supervillain IDs for Michael Jackson! Check ‘em out:


  48. NastyBedazzler

    Goddammit this guy has lost his mind I can’t believe they let hm walk around unrestrained

  49. team ninja

    he’s decided to go “”full child molestor.”
    hahahahaha thats awesome. send out the amber alert, hes gonna come at you like a predator!

  50. 1moreidiotintheworld

    Pretty soon IT will need a Darth Vader helmet to put on IT’s head because of that scary fucking Freddy Krueger face…….I’m fairly certain that Hell doesn’t have anything more frightening looking down there……..I’m getting sick to my stomach looking at IT….. must focus on the nipple of the paid groupie in the first pic……. Ahhhhh, that’s better!

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