Michael Jackson: ‘Know who never gets accused of touching kids? Zorro.’

Michael Jackson ran around Beverly Hills last night wearing a black mask and fedora which I can only assume means he’s decided to go “full child molestor.” He’s already growing a mustache, so the rickety van purchase can’t be far behind. Wait, is that a map to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s house in his pocket? No, seriously, there’s a giant red “X” with the words “Shangri-La” written above it.

Photos: National Photo, The Sun