Michael Jackson: ‘Know who never gets accused of touching kids? Zorro.’

December 13th, 2008 // 80 Comments

Michael Jackson ran around Beverly Hills last night wearing a black mask and fedora which I can only assume means he’s decided to go “full child molestor.” He’s already growing a mustache, so the rickety van purchase can’t be far behind. Wait, is that a map to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s house in his pocket? No, seriously, there’s a giant red “X” with the words “Shangri-La” written above it.

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Comments (80)

  1. nancy | December 13, 2008 at 11:04 am

    first?

    Reply
  2. first | December 13, 2008 at 11:04 am

    FIRST!
    &

    thats fuckin gross

    Reply
  3. Yvonne | December 13, 2008 at 11:12 am

    third??

    Reply
  4. Henry | December 13, 2008 at 11:12 am

    “Hey, Kids, I made you a mix CD!”

    Reply
  5. me | December 13, 2008 at 11:15 am

    Poor poor Jacko. I’m still rootin’ for a come back. I mean c’mon, if Brit Brit can do it you can too!!

    Reply
  6. mandi | December 13, 2008 at 11:23 am

    this will haunt my dreams.

    Reply
  7. Me | December 13, 2008 at 11:33 am

    Anyone posting after Me sucks on Michael Jackson’s bleached penis

    Reply
  8. Sport | December 13, 2008 at 11:41 am

    It’s obvious looking at this ‘man’ that there is absolutely nothing wrong with the guy.

    Reply
  9. Me 2 | December 13, 2008 at 11:43 am

    The poster before me lick’s MJ’s butthole with a spoon and chocolate syrup to make it seem more “Black”

    Why do people find MJ sane?
    Anyone else would have been thrown into solitary confinement!

    Reply
  10. Jeeeesus | December 13, 2008 at 11:53 am

    What is wrong with these people cheering him? Do they not see the fucking horror movie in front of them?

    Rabid MJ fans prove the world is full of morons

    Reply
  11. bootlips | December 13, 2008 at 11:57 am

    He can have all the plastic surgery in the world but he’ll still be a nigger.

    Reply
  12. TJ | December 13, 2008 at 12:06 pm

    Bootlips – that is disgusting. Keep your racism to yourself.

    Reply
  13. abcd | December 13, 2008 at 12:15 pm

    INSANE…

    Reply
  14. netstarman | December 13, 2008 at 12:20 pm

    Jacko lips are actually made out of cowboy boots , since his nose is falling off and he doesn’t want to scare the little boys away. He had to go the cheaper route on keeping his overly done face with house hold parts.

    Reply
  15. Matthew | December 13, 2008 at 12:25 pm

    wacko jacko is at it again

    Reply
  16. Rough Daddy | December 13, 2008 at 12:53 pm

    For the up coming tv sweep! Maury Pauvich should put a hairless young(blond)boy in a room with Micheal and a hidden cam and let the sparks flyes!!! (dont steal my idea please)…

    Reply
  17. Jon Rutter | December 13, 2008 at 1:22 pm

    I wish someone would kill this fag

    Reply
  18. Hunter | December 13, 2008 at 1:34 pm

    That second picture is probably the freakiest fucking thing I’ve ever seen!

    Reply
  19. TJ | December 13, 2008 at 1:34 pm

    I’ve changed my mind about #11, bootlips. bootlips is right with one exception, Jackson isn’t just any old nigger, he’s a pedo-nigger.

    There, see bootlips! Now we’ve both learned something.

    Reply
  20. Sharla | December 13, 2008 at 1:46 pm

    “come here little boys… come play with zorro… but wait… dont forget that zorro is afraid of pants… so take them off…”

    what a freak…

    http://internetmiscellanea.blogspot.com/

    Reply
  21. britney's weave | December 13, 2008 at 1:53 pm

    Oh. My. God.

    thanks, fish. now i’m going to have nightmares. he looks like freddy krueger in this pic.

    Reply
  22. vito | December 13, 2008 at 2:10 pm

    That motherfucker is as screwy as a pig’s tail!

    Reply
  23. CaptainMorgan | December 13, 2008 at 2:33 pm

    MJ (to his publicist): I feel like we should go a different direction. I’m tired of being portrayed as the bad guy.

    Publicist: Great idea Mike! We could make you into a Hero. Superheroes are big these days. Parents and kids would love it! It’s a sure thing!

    MJ: Ooo! Could I be a robot?

    Publicist: No.

    MJ: A fairy?

    Publicist: No. How about someone that has a classic appeal. Blast from the past so to speak…hmmm…

    MJ: Ooo! Tonto! I love Tonto.

    Publicist: No, you need to be white. The lone ranger?

    MJ: Zorro! He wears a mask and gets to poke things with his sword!
    (gets up and runs towards the door)

    Publicist: NO! Wait…that’s NOT a good idea!

    *SLAM*

    Publicist: Oh shit.

    Reply
  24. DogDink | December 13, 2008 at 2:39 pm

    “This is not the Micheal Jackson you are looking for…”

    It’s a trap! Don’t fall for it. This is a stunt double creating a diversion so the REAL Michael Jackson can grope and fondle kids in the “ball room” at Ikea.

    Reply
  25. westpenninewoman | December 13, 2008 at 2:46 pm

    I wonder just what is going on his warped mind. It doesn’t bear thinking about. Yuck!

    Reply
  26. westpenninewoman | December 13, 2008 at 2:47 pm

    I wonder just what is going on his warped mind. It doesn’t bear thinking about. Yuck!

    Reply
  27. Styxchix | December 13, 2008 at 3:16 pm

    This guy is nuttier than a fruitcake. All of those photos creep me out – what the hell is he thinking?? If he was even attempting to be incognito then that ain’t exactly an outfit to allow a quiet life……….. this is the stuff of nightmares.

    Reply
  28. mike | December 13, 2008 at 3:24 pm

    who does he have sex with?

    Reply
  29. Dave | December 13, 2008 at 3:35 pm

    That is one scary mother fucker.

    Reply
  30. It's Me Fuckers!! | December 13, 2008 at 3:52 pm

    freak is the one word to describe this freaky bastard. He just keeps getting stranger and scarier everytime he appears in public. Can you imagine what his kids are living like? How bad he is warping their little minds? What it is like growing up with THAT as a ‘father’. Why are his kids white when he was black? You would think there would be SOME black genes if he was their real ‘father’.

    I can’t wait to read his kid’s biographies when they are old enough to get the fuck away from this guy. They should make millions from their stories. “MJ. My dad. The freak and child lover.”

    Reply
  31. Axabitte | December 13, 2008 at 4:35 pm

    I’m a little bit terrified to see how he looks on Halloween…

    Reply
  32. AdamYYZ | December 13, 2008 at 5:11 pm

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

    Fuck me in the ass with a pogo stick, I’m going to have night terrors for a month.

    Reply
  33. mee | December 13, 2008 at 6:14 pm

    And to think they used to ramble on about what a freak Marilyn Manson is. This guy takes the cake.

    Reply
  34. Jess | December 13, 2008 at 6:19 pm

    Jeeeesus and other dirty mouths, people like you make me feel sad. I feel sorry for you. hope you learn something one day, and perhaps achieve something in life

    Reply
  35. Mary | December 13, 2008 at 6:29 pm

    MJ still has millions of fans, a lot of girls find him sexy. Most of my friends do. I must admit its surprising, cos MJ is 50, and the girls are hot 20 something year olds. Just proves he is loved and can make a comeback! I wonder how many hot fans the guys posting here have……

    Reply
  36. jennifer | December 13, 2008 at 6:48 pm

    MJ just gets creepier and creepier with each photo that he appears in. Gross.

    Reply
  37. mimi | December 13, 2008 at 6:48 pm

    Why don’t you people grow up and get a life. MJ is an angel to most of us. He is a beautiful man with a heart of gold and has composed some of the most important music in history. What have you assholes done?

    Reply
  38. tahnee | December 13, 2008 at 7:25 pm

    holy crap. mimi, you are crazier than wacko jacko himself.

    Reply
  39. Renelle | December 13, 2008 at 7:43 pm

    It looks like he had more surgery and messed up his eye.

    Reply
  40. Natty Dread | December 13, 2008 at 8:02 pm

    this is so scary.

    Reply
  41. ummm...yeah | December 13, 2008 at 8:36 pm

    Once again…SHUT THE FUCK UP mimi….
    Micheal Jackson is a disgrace…they need to put his ass in jail, or an insane asylum, out of the reach of anyones’ children.
    Mary, your friends are brain dead sluts…who the fuck cares what they think?
    Trust me if they think this motherfucker is sexy…they sincerly have fuckin problems.

    Reply
  42. mimi | December 13, 2008 at 8:56 pm

    I am a stupid certifiable lunatic. I know I’m loved though, because even if the mental institution no longer misses me, I know that somewhere a village is missing its idiot . . .

    Reply
  43. Beests | December 13, 2008 at 9:04 pm

    There is nothing scarier than when someone goes so insane that they have a perma-grin plastered on their face. When that happens, you are entering John Wayne Gacy-land. OJ Simpson and Sharon Stone are the same way.

    Reply
  44. Do FreeBird | December 13, 2008 at 9:04 pm

    When I look at Pic #2, I could swear the crazy bastard has plumped his lips with colagen. Pucker up baby!

    And Mimi you vapid cunt, I’m not sure if he composed anything immortal, but I am sure that his face is decomposing very nicely.

    Reply
  45. Lemmy Caution | December 13, 2008 at 9:51 pm

    This seems normal

    Reply
  46. Starcasm | December 13, 2008 at 10:42 pm

    I’m gonna have nightmares tonight.

    http://starcasm.net/archives/2054

    Reply
  47. Starcasm | December 13, 2008 at 10:42 pm

    The Kimono Dragon! I think we may have been the only ones on the planet inspired by these photos – we were inspired to create the Top Ten Superhero/Supervillain IDs for Michael Jackson! Check ‘em out:

    http://starcasm.net/archives/2054

    Reply
  48. NastyBedazzler | December 13, 2008 at 11:59 pm

    Goddammit this guy has lost his mind I can’t believe they let hm walk around unrestrained

    Reply
  49. team ninja | December 14, 2008 at 12:08 am

    he’s decided to go “”full child molestor.”
    hahahahaha thats awesome. send out the amber alert, hes gonna come at you like a predator!

    Reply
  50. 1moreidiotintheworld | December 14, 2008 at 1:43 am

    Pretty soon IT will need a Darth Vader helmet to put on IT’s head because of that scary fucking Freddy Krueger face…….I’m fairly certain that Hell doesn’t have anything more frightening looking down there……..I’m getting sick to my stomach looking at IT….. must focus on the nipple of the paid groupie in the first pic……. Ahhhhh, that’s better!

    Reply

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